My situation with the Local Church

[OGOP]

Originally Posted by Igzy

I would say the worst approach would be for you to suggest she should leave the LCM so that you two can be together.

Agreed.

Then you just have to wait to see how she responds, and live with it.

This is where I disagree. When somebody you love and care about is in an organization like the LCM, in my opinion a borderline cult, you don't just speak your mind and leave it at that.

I don't agree with: "If they agree then great, if not go your separate ways and move on."

Whether it be a friend, bf, gf, etc. If you care about somebody you should give it your all to help that person find a "healthier church", if you will.

[Nell]

Originally Posted by OGOP

...Whether it be a friend, bf, gf, etc. If you care about somebody you should give it your all to help that person find a "healthier church", if you will.

OGOP,

You're not wrong. However, you've stumbled onto a forum of believers who have spent 25+ years, in some cases, trying to help those we love find a "healthier church" and failing miserably.

You can't help someone who doesn't want help, or someone who believes they don't need help and that they are right and you are wrong. You already know this.

Giving it your all to help someone means that "help" takes many forms, one of which is walking away.

One amazing and frustrating thing about the God we love and serve is that he has given each of us a free will. Not even God will violate our right to choose...the right He gave us, the right he gave you and the right he gave the woman you love.

For 15 years as an LC member I heard all the stuff about the LC being a cult. I saw the mistreatment of the saints by the leadership. I went through their abuse myself and it was horrible. Yet I stayed. I heard teachings that I questioned. Some things I couldn't and didn't believe...yet I stayed. One day I picked up a handout about one of the lawsuits that outlined all the accusations against "us". Then I had a thought that was clear as a bell: "everything they are saying about us is true." This was light from God Himself and I will never forget those words. This was God's mercy to me. No one was pounding on me to "see". No one was talking to me to see the wrongs of the LC, but one day God opened my eyes. I could never "unsee" the truth God had shown me. At that point, in my heart, I was no longer in the LC. I began planning my exit and when the time was right, I attended my last meeting and never looked back.

You can't make anyone "see" anything. Only God gives light. By God's mercy He rescued me. He alone opened my eyes to the truth. Everyone is different, but until your friend is ready and prepared by God to "see and hear", you can only follow Him and pray for her.

I pray that your path will be full of light, full of God's mercy and His wisdom and that the "help" you provide will be His help.

Nell

[Cal]

Originally Posted by OGOP

I don't agree with: "If they agree then great, if not go your separate ways and move on."

Whether it be a friend, bf, gf, etc. If you care about somebody you should give it your all to help that person find a "healthier church", if you will.

What I meant was don't get contentious with her or try to push her. One thing all men need to learn about women is we can't make them do anything. Trying to just makes things worse.

Part of my point is that if she doesn't want to leave the LCM and you don't want to join you probably should put the "couple" side of your relationship on the back burner until you are on the same stove. Does that make sense?