My situation with the Local Church

[Evangelical]

I don't see why not holding hands is a problem. Many do not hold hands in church in many denominations. Hand holding is a mark of commitment and implies sexual thoughts particularly during the dating stage of a relationship. You are in church, if you want to hold hands then go to a park or something.

I don't see a problem if someone else wants to propose to your girlfriend. She is not yours, she is still single until you get married. There's nothing stopping you proposing to her yourself. There's no problem if two people want to get married within a week and don't know each other. Marriage between people relatively unknown to each other is an ancient thing. Boyfriends/girlfriends for 3-5 years and then marriage after you have "tried before you buyed" is a modern invention. Today's way of dating is a worldly concept. There are books written about that.

[OGOP]

Evangelical, I think you missed the overall point of my post, but Ill address what you're saying.

My main problem with the holding hands was how the LC handled it. Sending elder brothers to sit down in an interrogation style and question her. We will agree to disagree that holding hands of your girlfriend is "implying sexual thoughts".

If you want to believe in arranged marriages than okay, I don't. All I ask is that for those who choose to court and date, that you don't try to intervene against the wishes of the two dating and arrange a marriage despite the two people being in a committed relationship.

These two situations are mere drops in the bucket of the things Ive seen going on in the LC that I am upset with.
Bottom line is I would be happier elsewhere and feel my pursuit of christ would be much less impeded. I don't want a future in the LC.

[Ohio]

Originally Posted by Evangelical

I don't see why not holding hands is a problem. Many do not hold hands in church in many denominations. Hand holding is a mark of commitment and implies sexual thoughts particularly during the dating stage of a relationship. You are in church, if you want to hold hands then go to a park or something.

I don't see a problem if someone else wants to propose to your girlfriend. She is not yours, she is still single until you get married. There's nothing stopping you proposing to her yourself. There's no problem if two people want to get married within a week and don't know each other. Marriage between people relatively unknown to each other is an ancient thing. Boyfriends/girlfriends for 3-5 years and then marriage after you have "tried before you buyed" is a modern invention. Today's way of dating is a worldly concept. There are books written about that.

Evangelical, if LC dating ideas and marriage plans for young people were so successful, then we should see the fruit. Unfortunately, I have seen far too many failures. Even in other cultures, like India, where arranged marriages are the accepted norm, it is the parents who do the arranging, not the church elders or serving ones. There are far too many church elders who place the short-term needs of their church ahead of the long-term needs of young people. It was my experience in the LC that wise and mature counselors were usually no where to be found.

Some of your comments are quite troublesome. You said, "There's no problem if two people want to get married within a week and don't know each other." Are you serious? If they don't know each other, why would anyone want to marry and invest their life with a stranger? Your comment, "She is not yours," actually implies to me that you consider this young lady to be "church property" with little concern for her as a person.

The practice of a Christian courtship is far healthier for young people today. Neither the extremes of loveless arrangements nor "try before you buy" are the only options.

[Evangelical]

Originally Posted by Ohio

Evangelical, if LC dating ideas and marriage plans for young people were so successful, then we should see the fruit. Unfortunately, I have seen far too many failures. Even in other cultures, like India, where arranged marriages are the accepted norm, it is the parents who do the arranging, not the church elders or serving ones. There are far too many church elders who place the short-term needs of their church ahead of the long-term needs of young people. It was my experience in the LC that wise and mature counselors were usually no where to be found.

Some of your comments are quite troublesome. You said, "There's no problem if two people want to get married within a week and don't know each other." Are you serious? If they don't know each other, why would anyone want to marry and invest their life with a stranger? Your comment, "She is not yours," actually implies to me that you consider this young lady to be "church property" with little concern for her as a person.

The practice of a Christian courtship is far healthier for young people today. Neither the extremes of loveless arrangements nor "try before you buy" are the only options.

Ohio, Witness Lee said elders should not control or interfere in marriages. To my knowledge this does not happen in the local churches. Of course she belongs to God and so she must be part of the church because the church belongs to God.

[Ohio]

Originally Posted by Evangelical

Ohio, Witness Lee said elders should not control or interfere in marriages. To my knowledge this does not happen in the local churches. Of course she belongs to God and so she must be part of the church because the church belongs to God.

Baptist church belongs to God also.

Elders do what Lee does, not what he taught. The Lord Jesus made a similar comment about the Pharisees.