My situation with the Local Church

[Evangelical]

Witness Lee was against elders interfering in marriages so what you describe must be bad elders.

[Freedom]

Originally Posted by Evangelical

Ohio, Witness Lee said elders should not control or interfere in marriages. To my knowledge this does not happen in the local churches.

Originally Posted by Evangelical

Witness Lee was against elders interfering in marriages so what you describe must be bad elders.

For the record, in the LC I was a part of, there was a couple who got married, but before the marriage happened, an elder tried to put it to a stop so he could match the brother up with a different sister. As far as I'm concerned such behavior on the part of the elder was completely unacceptable, and any group who doesn't want to be called a cult shouldn't engage in that kind of behavior. Ironically enough, this is not the only case of such meddling/interference that I am aware of. And there are plenty of cases I know of where a significant amount of guidance for a relationship/marriage was through 'fellowship' from the elders.

When I attended young people's conferences and throughout my college years, it was constantly reiterated to us that all relationships should happen through 'fellowship' with the elders. This is not fellowship that just came at a local level. It was widespread throughout the Southern California region that I'm from. Additionally, I received one-on-one 'fellowship' more than once about not engaging in any relationship without prior approval of the elders, and one of these occasions was in a LC 500 miles removed from the locality that I was from. So, as much as you or anyone else wants to deny it, there is a systemic problem that exists in the LC.

If you wish to claim ignorance to the problem, then I will assume you are telling the truth, however, when faced with the facts, why wouldn’t there be any desire or concern about a change being needed? All I have seen coming from the LC direction are attempts to rationalize or downplay the problem. At the very least, the fact that multiple people from multiple locations have relayed similar experiences of inappropriate interference and meddling, that would be indicative of the systemic problem that I have referenced. And we are even told that WL spoke against this. Why then is it the predominant culture in the LC? Why does the FTTA forbid relationships? Why do the elders so freely offer ‘fellowship’ about relationships when approached? All the evidence points in a certain direction, and is indicative of this being a culture/ideology that the LC wishes to embrace. Sorry to be so frank, but when this is the culture/environment you were born and raised in, it provoke a strong reaction when there are claims made that no such problem exists in the LC.

[Evangelical]

Have you pointed these elders to Witness Lee's books about this and if so what was their response?

[Drake]

I have witnessed and became aware of overreach by elders in some situations concerning marriage counseling. Howver, it would be wrong to characterize it as systemic or a policy or a practice of some sort. I never knew of elders engaging in matchmaking though some sisters were pretty quick on the draw.

That does mean that elders should use hands off as an excuse to not shepherd the flock. A person may have aspirations toward the Lord and the responsible ones should advise and counsel that one, their parents, the serving ones, etc.and sometimes intervention is required if morality is compromised. Paul taught this.

Even in this thread advice has been offered. That is not meddling. Seeing the situation on the ground gives a better perspective so we cannot judge those shepherding the flock and this sister or this brother.

I would also advise you brother that it is a fool's errand if you think to save this sister from "a cult". That is a nonstarter in so many ways.

Drake

the last couple of posters were obviously never in the lc during the 70s or even 80s, at least not in LA. Going back to Elden hall days and on through the 80s most of the marriages in the lc were arranged marriages of one sort or the other. As this forum has born out, many of these marriages fell apart because the only thing they had in common was the messages of Witness Lee and the strange practices such as calling on the Lord and pray reading. When push came to shove neither party had a real relationship with the Lord but only with the local churches of Witness Lee.

I personally witnessed many of these "arranged" marriages. More than one of them happened BEFORE either boy or girl really knew much about the other person. There is no doubt this weird practice game straight from the Chinese tradition which came from Witness Lee. Untold suffering and divorces came from these arranged marriages. Nobody hardly hears about these sufferings or divorces because of the secret nature of the local churches.

[Drake]

Originally Posted by been there done that

the last couple of posters were obviously never in the lc during the 70s or even 80s, at least not in LA. Going back to Elden hall days and on through the 80s most of the marriages in the lc were arranged marriages of one sort or the other. As this forum has born out, many of these marriages fell apart because the only thing they had in common was the messages of Witness Lee and the strange practices such as calling on the Lord and pray reading. When push came to shove neither party had a real relationship with the Lord but only with the local churches of Witness Lee.

I personally witnessed many of these "arranged" marriages. More than one of them happened BEFORE either boy or girl really knew much about the other person. There is no doubt this weird practice game straight from the Chinese tradition which came from Witness Lee. Untold suffering and divorces came from these arranged marriages. Nobody hardly hears about these sufferings or divorces because of the secret nature of the local churches.

True that there was a flurry that occurred of quick introductions and then vows in the early days in Elden Hall.. However, it did not become and is not a practice in the local churches. If that week true in this situation we are discussing then the sister would not have ever shown interest in the brother who opened this thread or else she would gave hid it from everyone.

Furthermore, some couples are still together from those times and someone once said that those marriages suffered no more than others. Of course there is anecdotal evidence to support either case.

Still, I believe love to be very important but that is just me. But for the sake of the brother let's continue to provide him with sound advice.

Drake

[Ohio]

Originally Posted by Evangelical

Witness Lee was against elders interfering in marriages so what you describe must be bad elders.

Apparently Witness Lee also taught that Christians should not sue other Christians.