The LCS Factor

[SpeakersCorner]

Originally Posted by Thankful Jane

The LC leadership has a track record of targeting the faithful after getting their orders to do so straight from hell. There is a trail of blood that cannot be hidden.

Scene in hell:

Demon Zula: Hey, Zanatron, you got anything scheduled for today?

Demon Zanatron: (Checking Blackberry). Just a couple lawyers at 2:00. Why?

Zula: The Master wants an interaction with the LSM gang up on La Palma.

Zanatron: (Groaning) Not them again. I’ve had it with those guys. They can’t get anything right.

Zula: Whachutalkinabout?

Zanatron: Would you cool it with the Gary Coleman stuff? You don’t even sound like him. Plus he’s like twenty years out of date.

Zula: Whatever. Anyway, what’s your problem with the LSM gang? They’re cooperative.

Zanatron: To a fault. Like when I gave them the directive about the Q, --

Zula: Q?

Zanaton: Quarantine. When I told them it was the slickest way to rid themselves of the TC problem, what do they do? They pull this “One Publication” thing out of their rears.

Zula: One Pub? What’s wrong with that? It worked, didn’t it?

Zanatron: (Sticking a marshmellow on his pitchfork which he then stokes in the fire.) Worked? They had to run up to Canada to hold the trial. How pathetic.

Zula: (Firing a flaming dart into the ether) Hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Zanatron: (Pulls marshmellow from pitchfork and eats it delicately) I’m tired of the whole mess. Just once I’d like to work with a decent man, someone who didn’t hide behind faux rationales and idiotic symbols.

Zula: Hm. A Don Corleone type?

Zanatron: (Grabs his Blackberry) Uh-oh, I’m getting something from the boss. (Reading) “Get up to the Bereans forum and stir up some dust about idolatry … IMMEDIATELY!”

Zula: The Bereans?

Zanatron: He means that new site. He can never remember.

Zula: Well, I’ve got some good news for you.

Zanatron: (Putting on his hat and grabbing a whip) What’s that?

Zula: No need to head to the site: they’re already knee-deep in idolatry dust.

Zanatron: No kidding? (Taking off hat and hanging whip back on hook) And they’ll probably blame us.

Zula: Hey, if it gets you an afternoon off, don’t complain. Me, I’ve got to go to Denver.

Zanatron: I feel your pain. (He places another marshmellow on pitchfork, yelping in pain as he accidentally singes his finger)

Fade out.