Ex Church kid from the 90's east coast here

[MarsVolta]

I'll start this off by saying I still have a fear that I may be found by members of the church who know who I am by details left in this forum. There was someone who posted a open letter about leaving the church and when i clicked on the Facebook link I had mutual friends. I have a mom and stepdad (they moved church locations to hide the fact my step brothers do not belong to my mom as divorce was super frowned upon. I attended a couple weddings of my step brothers and shocked members when I said I was my moms kid when i was the same age as my step brother and was a different race than them) who are very influential in this church and so are my childhood friends and step siblings. They come across as very loving people but are very mentally unstable and use this Church to hide their abuse, evil activity, and have destroyed many peoples lives under the guise of their walk with the lord. I was fortunate enough to distance myself from them, my stepbrothers are in full brainwashed mode, my sisters have been tormented more than I have.

[UntoHim]

Thanks for the introduction MarsVolta! You can be sure that this UserName was not already taken! Thanks for having the guts and gumption to come and give us a little testimony. As you have probably already gathered, that is if you've been lurking around the forum for any length of time, your experience is not that uncommon for young people growing up in the Local Church. Please stick around and mark your mark around this popcorn stand.

[MarsVolta]

Thank You for the kind words UntoHim. It is very uplifting knowing there are others in my situation and this forum helps alot! That being said I don't have anything against members of the Church and know many good people who are members, even if we now have a different ideology.

[aron]

Originally Posted by MarsVolta

I'll start this off by saying I still have a fear that I may be found by members of the church who know who I am by details left in this forum.

Welcome. As much as you can, heal from the fear. It isn't easy but your "authentic self" is free from fear. They imposed THEIR fear on you. Reject it.

Originally Posted by MarsVolta

I was fortunate enough to distance myself from them, my stepbrothers are in full brainwashed mode, my sisters have been tormented more than I have.

You may be able to help them heal, in the future. Just begin by healing today.

Originally Posted by MarsVolta

I don't have anything against members of the Church and know many good people who are members, even if we now have a different ideology.

Originally Posted by MarsVolta

FYI: **I'm no longer a practicing Christian, and I have no interest in returning to Christianity, church, etc.** I'm a happy humanist these days, and I wanted to be upfront and honest about that since it could affect the dynamic of potential connections in a big way!

I would be interested to find out how many ex-church kids are non-believers.

My guess is:

~10 to 15% go through FTTA and become "serving ones" somewhere. They are vacuumed up by the ministry and migrate for the "Lord's move" (i.e. ministry directives) to serve in adjunct or official (paid) capacity.

~20 to 25% become "community saints" who meet fairly regularly but live for themselves (their job, their education etc). They are nominal affiliates.

~10 to 15% become Christians of other types. They go on as believers but not affiliated with the Lord's recovery/Local church/LSM.

~40 to 50% become avowed atheists, agnostic, Buddhist etc.

When i say ex-church kids I am thinking average of 50+ meetings per year for at least 5 years, before age 18. Of course many had a lot more than that. One conference weekend could have 5 or 6 meetings. A SSOT could have 30 meetings. Then there is the "church life" of mutual activities, of hosting visitors, of staying at others' houses. Church kids got an immersive experience. Yet the bulk of them left not only the LR but also the faith.

MarsVolta, I am wondering your observations, from your post below:

Originally Posted by MarsVolta

I have family and childhood friends (last 5-10 years) that has spent time recruiting in Boston. I myself was a Church Kid from Providence in the 90's and also spent time in Newton Mass. I am not involved anymore but close family still is.

Also from a sociological perspective, how does this ratio compare to other "high-demand" Christian/pseudo-Christian groups like International Churches of Christ?

[Melo]

Welcome MarsVolta, and I am glad you found this forum! Hope you find the support, comfort, and information you may need!

If you were to ask the saints, the majority would probably say that believers in other sects of Christianity are just as much believers as they are. However, there's still the underlying mentality that their way is a little bit better, or 'more right'. There's many ways to bake a cake, but their way is the *right* way.

I'm a church kid myself, and when you've spent your entire life being told that every other Christian group misses the mark in some way, it's hard to shake that mindset. Whenever I attend other Christian groups I find myself trying to find something wrong, something to nitpick compared to the LC. It's messed up, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to fully leave that. You'll always feel wrong no matter where you go, so a lot of people just choose not to go anywhere.

[countmeworthy]

Originally Posted by Melo

Welcome MarsVolta, and I am glad you found this forum! Hope you find the support, comfort, and information you may need!

...... when you've spent your entire life being told that every other Christian group misses the mark in some way, it's hard to shake that mindset. .

May I suggest that when you pray, pray you are not deceived. Ask the Lord to keep you away from people who will deceive you. And when reading/studying the written Word, ask God the Holy Spirit to speak to you and to reveal God's Word to you that you will gather understanding and enlightenment apart from the LC/LSM mindset.

It takes time and it is a process but Jesus never forsakes us. He won't let us go. He will rescue us and heal us emotionally and spiritually. He will draw us to HIMSELF. He is Faithful and True. God is GOOD.

[awareness]

Originally Posted by countmeworthy

May I suggest that when you pray, pray you are not deceived. Ask the Lord to keep you away from people who will deceive you. And when reading/studying the written Word, ask God the Holy Spirit to speak to you and to reveal God's Word to you that you will gather understanding and enlightenment apart from the LC/LSM mindset.

It takes time and it is a process but Jesus never forsakes us. He won't let us go. He will rescue us and heal us emotionally and spiritually. He will draw us to HIMSELF. He is Faithful and True. God is GOOD.

And the comforter will teach you all things -- many of them surprising, and mind expanding..

[MarsVolta]

Aaron



I am going to respond to your response in hoping that you have good intentions and this was a mistake. There are quotes in your post that I did not say or post yet you quote me as posting this. I am a bit confused as how it would say originally posted as MarsVolta as I did not post this:



Originally Posted by MarsVolta
FYI: **I'm no longer a practicing Christian, and I have no interest in returning to Christianity, church, etc.** I'm a happy humanist these days, and I wanted to be upfront and honest about that since it could affect the dynamic of potential connections in a big way!

[awareness]

Originally Posted by MarsVolta

Aaron



I am going to respond to your response in hoping that you have good intentions and this was a mistake. There are quotes in your post that I did not say or post yet you quote me as posting this. I am a bit confused as how it would say originally posted as MarsVolta as I did not post this:



Originally Posted by MarsVolta
FYI: **I'm no longer a practicing Christian, and I have no interest in returning to Christianity, church, etc.** I'm a happy humanist these days, and I wanted to be upfront and honest about that since it could affect the dynamic of potential connections in a big way!

I caught that too, and was puzzled. I couldn't find it where you stated it.

Glad you didn't just let it go. I'm confused til aron clears it up. And I had a response to the mystery quote.

[MarsVolta]

Thank you awareness for picking up on that

[aron]

MarsVolta,

Sorry about that. I saw "different ideology" on your second post then mistakenly conflated two posts on another thread.

And voila a mess ensues.

Well, it's none of my business how your ideology differs from the LC/LR, or mine for that matter. What I was getting to, and clearly stumbled over myself in the haste to get there, was how many ex-church kids from the LC/LR no longer identify in any way as Christian. I find that fascinating. I mean, if anything, the LSM seems to have the fundamentals down pat, and yet they are rejected en mass by their core constituencies.

As an ex-Church kid (of any current belief/practice) I was curious as to your observations & thoughts. And I apologize for the sloppy editing on my earlier post.

[awareness]

Originally Posted by aron

MarsVolta,

Sorry about that. I saw "different ideology" on your second post then mistakenly conflated two posts on another thread.

And voila a mess ensues.

Well, it's none of my business how your ideology differs from the LC/LR, or mine for that matter. What I was getting to, and clearly stumbled over myself in the haste to get there, was how many ex-church kids from the LC/LR no longer identify in any way as Christian. I find that fascinating. I mean, if anything, the LSM seems to have the fundamentals down pat, and yet they are rejected en mass by their core constituencies.

As an ex-Church kid (of any current belief/practice) I was curious as to your observations & thoughts. And I apologize for the sloppy editing on my earlier post.

So from where did you get this quote :

Originally Posted by mystery quote

FYI: **I'm no longer a practicing Christian, and I have no interest in returning to Christianity, church, etc.** I'm a happy humanist these days, and I wanted to be upfront and honest about that since it could affect the dynamic of potential connections in a big way!

[aron]

Originally Posted by awareness

So from where did you get the quote

If you click on the little triangle next to the name it takes you to the thread. The next quote is from MV, also cited in my [erring] post. As I said, I mistakenly conflated two posts as from the same source.