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06-25-2017, 01:23 PM | #1 |
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UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Hey y'all.
My introduction thread is is titled "My situation with the LC" if you want to read it for some reference, but I'm going to quickly summarize it anyways. So here's my story briefly. -Born and raised into non-religious home -Went off to college, fell head over heels in love with a girl who I, still do this day, intend to marry -She has been born and raised in The Lords Recovery/LCM -After a year of attending the "meetings" I come across this site, among other testimonies of the nature of the LCM. -It finally "clicks" with me, that the things I was experiencing were not an isolated case, and are a result of the church itself, not just the brothers + sisters in my specific church. (arranged marriages, taking advantage of troubled people, full time training, etc.) -I decide I want to find a denomination I feel comfortable to grow in Christ. And so that is when I posted to the forum seeking advice. Here's the update: I ended up approaching her and telling her my feelings about the church. I tried to be as sensitive as possible about the subject. I censored my language very strongly to avoid hurting her. This led to many nights of crying and fighting. Eventually she came around and said she would agree to start splitting time between the local church and a church of my choosing. The Saturday before the first Sunday it was my turn to take her to church, I don't know if she gets cold feet, too nervous, or if one of the brothers or sisters talked to her but she backs out and says she can't do it. That the local church is THE ONLY real church, the ONLY place she will feel comfortable, etc. So that leads to more fighting and arguments between us, but in the end we would always make up. This spring I actually managed to drastically reduce the number of meetings we went to, by planning things for us to do during the meeting times. Does that make me a bad person? So here is where we stand now: She understands exactly where I stand in regards to my feelings on the church. She chalks it up as problems I have with Christ and because I am a relatively new Christian. She can't differentiate between a denomination I am criticizing and criticizing Christ. It's sad, but I do feel like I am slowly making progress in leaving the church WITH her. She has agreed that she will follow me to a church I feel comfortable once we are married, ON THE CONDITION that I first have a meeting with a church elder and that I give these next few months my BEST TRY and full attention to be active and engaged in "the church life" So here's my question for y'all: 1) What questions would you/should I ask the brother when I do have a meeting with him 1-on-1? So far I am planning to address my concerns regarding: Full time training, witness lee, living stream ministry scandals, controlling nature of the "elders" If you have advice on how to word them that would be a huge help. For example I know the full time training gives me the cult vibe, but what should I question about it specifically. I can't just say 'whats sup with all the trainings, thats a softball question and I'm just going to get the same old talking points. 2) How can I get involved it the church life and make it seems genuine without falling into it. Not sure if I worded that correctly but essentially I am scared that if I get too involved that its going to be even harder to leave. Any advice on "faking it"in the LC lol? Im sure some of y'all have been here before. God Bless OGOP |
06-25-2017, 01:50 PM | #2 |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Just be honest.
Tell the elder what you really think. Don't deceive with crafty words and tricks to keep her out of meetings. If not, and you marry under false premises, then much unnecessary pain awaits her, you, and those around you. Drake |
06-25-2017, 02:00 PM | #3 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Quote:
And to be honest, the Local church has a very controlling grip on ones social life. If attending less meetings helps her understand life does EXIST outside the church life, then I think thats something I want to show her |
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06-25-2017, 02:09 PM | #4 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Quote:
But I'm also turning to the forum for suggestions. Anything y'all wish you could've asked if you were in my position. The brother Im planning to speak with is very high up in the LC "ranks". |
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06-25-2017, 05:26 PM | #5 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Quote:
You need to address what bothers you, and not what bothers others, if possible. You mentioned all the trainings. That's a real concern. Most local elders only carry out the plans of LSM, and have little liberty to do else. If the elders seem controlling to you, that's because they also are being controlled by others from LSM. Very little liberty of the Spirit exists there, though you may hear endless messages to the contrary. LSM is not the kind of ministry that the elders can pick and choose what meets the needs of their people. LSMers really feel that every LC member is their fruit, and belongs to them, with all their offerings. I do know some LC's that have a wholesome family environment and shepherding, but these churches have strong leaders who refuse to be LSMbots. They allow their young people to attend the FTT, but don't push it for everyone. Unfortunately, it's real difficult to discuss these topics with elders. They live a contradiction. They don't really practice what they believe, hence their answers may be acceptable to you in word, but not in reality. For me personally after 30 years in the LC's, I was very bothered that all three of my elders were employees of headquarters, and they always placed the ministry work before the brothers and sisters in the LC. I spoke my heart's concerns for the church, and they demanded that I apologize to all the other deacons. Privately, they told me they have the "right" to fellowship with anyone they choose, to which I responded, "sure you do, but not if you are elders, since your primary responsibility is the care for the saints." They refused to yield, and I knew it was time to leave.
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06-25-2017, 05:28 PM | #6 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Quote:
OGOP, members of this forum and I do not see eye to eye on many things. However, I believe your request of them is completely inappropriate and insulting. Where did you get the impression that they would be willing to collude with you in deception? Drake |
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06-25-2017, 05:30 PM | #7 |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
4 questions:
1. Why was the LC essentially formed by women (Margaret Barber, Ruth Lee, Peace Wang, Dora Yu, Mary McDonald [3 parts of man], Jessie Penn-Lewis [Spiritual Man]), but women can't give a Sunday morning message? 2. Why could Witness Lee criticise everyone else, including James, Peter, Martin Luther, but none criticise Lee? Can't you see how Chinese that is? It's human culture. It's not divine order. 3. How come David didn't turn the other cheek, but threw a rock at Goliath? Not very Christian! Or, Samuel killing Agag. Because in the Psalms footnotes you see Lee panning David for his violent and unchristian sentiments. Why the inconsistency? 4. How come your hymns say, "all self-effort is vain" while your HWMR outlines are full of "we must" and "we need to" and "we have to"? Which is it?
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06-25-2017, 05:37 PM | #8 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Quote:
I'm asking about peoples experiences of their time while still a member of the church, but their hearts weren't in it. I have been completely open about my feelings on the church with her, its just she wants us to get more involved before we leave, so that she feels comfortable in my decision to leave. And I'm worried if I do get more involved its only going to be harder for me, mentally, to leave |
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06-25-2017, 05:41 PM | #9 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Quote:
That is a good question though, I have always asked about women not being allowed to be front row, can't give morning message, etc. That is definitely something I will ask. 2. The Chinese culture as a whole is something I want to ask about. 3. Interesting. |
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06-25-2017, 05:45 PM | #10 | ||
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
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06-25-2017, 05:52 PM | #11 |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
As one who long lived this same contradiction, I can assure you that they are not aware that their talking points are not real.
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06-25-2017, 05:56 PM | #12 |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
The whole 'exercise your spirit' thing is little more than thinly-veiled social control. Get someone to publicly lose face. Notice the juniors never tell the seniors, "Execise your spirit"! It's a totally one-way street. There is no mutuality whatever. It's oriental social engineering.
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06-25-2017, 06:14 PM | #13 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Quote:
In 2003 we carefully read thru this book again. I was shocked page by page. Nothing I read matched the practices of LSM under the Blended brothers. Obviously nobody takes time to check things out. We were taught to receive Lee's teachings without questioning, but that is contrary to scripture. The Bereans examined Paul's ministry against scripture. (Acts 17.11) The Thessalonians were instructed to test all things, and only to hold on to the good. (I Thess 5.21) The Romans were taught to prove by testing what the will of God is. (Romans 12.2) John admonished the believers not to believe everything they were taught, but to test the spirits whether they are of God. (I John 4.1)
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06-25-2017, 06:16 PM | #14 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
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06-25-2017, 07:10 PM | #15 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
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I think the most important thing to focus on right now is your relationship with your Creator made possible through the blood of Jesus. I appreciate that you were honest with your girlfriend to the point where she knows "exactly where you stand". But it sounds like you're looking to attempt to deceive her by saying that you hope to "make it seems genuine without falling into it". I know you qualified that statement in a later post, but this mentality is not fair to anyone. It sounds like you've experienced everything you need to understand the reality of the LSM.
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06-25-2017, 07:29 PM | #16 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Quote:
I've heard similar stories from Mormon friends.
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06-25-2017, 07:33 PM | #17 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
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06-25-2017, 08:34 PM | #18 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Quote:
Having worked as a paralegal and watched "Law and Order" on TV a lot :-) , one rule of thumb is: don't ask a question you don't already know the answer to. That is, do your homework. Pray that the Lord will clarify in your own mind your objective in talking to one of the elders. Write down your questions and pray over them. Make sure you can quote the scriptural argument. Narrow them down to the ones you can prosecute with Scripture. Consider questions with one-word answers. My questions for you: 1. What specifically bothers you about FTT, and what scripture makes it a problem? What specific "cult vibe" bothers you? You might get shot down on this one. a) we can have a Bible school, that's not wrong; 2) we don't force anyone to go. Students attend of their own free will; 3) If you do sign up for FTT, you agree to the teachings we provide and the rules set forth. So this one is sticky. 2. What bothers you about Witness Lee? What scripture/s support the bothering? What specific teachings? e.g., "Poor degraded Christianity"? Well brother, we're just telling the truth. (Scripture: Judge not that you be not judged...). "Poor and degraded" is a subjective criticism. The issue isn't actually if Christianity is poor and degraded, but we are all brothers in Christ, who are you to pass judgment? Paul criticized the Jews, but not the Christian believers, even in their worst sinful condition. Paul even gave a brother in the church over to the devil for the salvation of his soul, but he never called him names. Paul's purpose was to preserve the purity of the church and rescue the sinning brother. What did Witness Lee gain by criticizing his brothers and thereby teaching his followers to do so? 3. What LSM scandals? If you haven't done so, read "The Fermentation of the Present Rebellion" by Lee then the response "Speaking the Truth in Love" by John Ingalls. Whatever questions you ask should be specific and you should press until you get a specific answer. For example, what is Lee's scriptural basis for the statement "Don't say anything negative." What if the truth is "negative". What is the scriptural basis for this practice? We are taught not to lie. We have to tell the truth, even if it may appear to be "negative." Thou shalt not bear false witness. (What about the brother in Corinth who was sleeping with his father's wife? Paul certainly didn't mince words dealing with sin in the camp.) Lee teaches "don't ask questions". Why? The Bible teaches us the opposite. Ohio has given you the verses The Bereans examined Paul's ministry against scripture. (Acts 17.11) The Thessalonians were instructed to test all things, and only to hold on to the good. (I Thess 5.21) The Romans were taught to prove by testing what the will of God is. (Romans 12.2) John admonished the believers not to believe everything they were taught, but to test the spirits whether they are of God. (I John 4.1) I hope this helps. You control the meeting. You are the one asking the questions. If you don't get a specific answer or one that makes sense to you, consider it "non-responsive" and go to the next question. Nell |
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06-25-2017, 09:47 PM | #19 | ||
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Quote:
Instead, think deeply what is your real belief on what the church should be like and how you would live a life that is pleasing to God. Simply share your view to the brother. He doesn't have to agree with you, and neither do you have to be convinced by him otherwise. The second question is simpler. Don't fake it. Practice what you genuinely believe and let others know about it. You don't have to call on the name of the Lord n times like others if you don't think it is the correct way. You don't have to say Amen if you don't agree. And speak what your truly received from the Lord even if it may be different from the ministry message yet remain respectful to the others. Most important of all, don't let anything you don't agree with the LC affect your own personal relationship with God. Don't stop praising God because you don't want to praise Him the LC way. Don't stop studying God's words because you don't agree with the ministry messages. Instead, praise Him and seek Him even more earnestly. View all these as a test on the truthfulness of your relationship with God, and also your relationship with your girl friend. It would be difficult but with faith would not be beyond what you are able. And be humble all the time to seek guidance from our dear Lord. 2 Cor 12:9 And He has said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness. Most gladly therefore I will rather boast in my weaknesses that the power of Christ might tabernacle over me. Quote:
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06-26-2017, 01:33 AM | #20 | ||
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Quote:
There's a reason that the LC has gone from 20% Chinese to 50% Chinese in the last 20 years. The strict hierarchical control is aligned with that cultural mentality and expectation. Frankly, they are comfortable with it, while many Occidentals are not. I don't know what it's like in other areas, but in my old LC 'locality' a shadow church has emerged. They call it the "Chinese-speaking meeting". Twenty years ago nothing like this existed. And their behavior among one another is very different. Absolute submission is expected, and shown. In 2007, Dong Yu Lan in Brasil and Titus Chu in Ohio refused to kowtow to Minoru Chen and Benson Philips. So they left and took their followers with them. So much for the vaunted oneness. Kultur uber alles. Quote:
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06-26-2017, 01:53 AM | #21 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Quote:
Here's another LC "Founding Mother": Mary McDonough. See link below. http://www.tripartiteman.org/historical/mcdonough.html
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06-26-2017, 03:42 AM | #22 |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Another question: when the LC has multiple gatherings, or assemblies, they call them 'meetings'; but when they want one governance, under their aegis naturally, they call it 'the church', and condemn all else as sectarian. But why, in both OT Septuagint (e.g., Psa 22:22) and NT (e.g., Acts 19:41), the same Greek word is used for 'meeting'? Yep, our old freind the 'ekklesia'. Turns out Watchman Nee didn't know much Greek, but that didn't stop him - as long as his followers were equally ignorant, he did alright.
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06-26-2017, 04:14 AM | #23 |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Another question: why did Witness Lee publicly claim the affiliation of 15 to 20 million 'shouters', but 10 years later LSM spokesman Chris Wilde said there's no connection whatever?
The LSM elder will deny the first claim because they didn't print it, but I was there & heard Lee. See recent remarks in the 'publication' thread, on what they call the polishing. What's said & known versus what's printed & formally acknowledged. And while we're on the subject of affiliation, why did all the 1997 LC 'locality' websites state, "lovers of Jesus affiliated with the ministries of Watchman Nee and Witness Lee"? What is the difference between "affiliated with" as used there, and the "I am of Apollos" or Peter or Paul that was categorically condemned in the NT epistle? What's the difference between "affiliated with" and "of"?
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06-26-2017, 08:13 AM | #24 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Quote:
My dear young brother, I am speaking to you from personal experience. I've been around the block a few times more than you. I have been in a situation similar to yours, and I have the scars to prove it. I would suggest finding a solid Christian fellowship in your area, find some older brothers for prayer, support, fellowship and advise. Maybe attend the Lord's Table meeting once a month at the Local Church. Maybe your girlfriend can come to some kind of function at your church once a month as well. Let the Holy Spirit do the convincing and convicting...He's pretty good at that stuff, ya know. -
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06-26-2017, 08:28 AM | #25 |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
OGOP,
Sorry for posting so much. . . those were some questions that I haven't seen answered by the LSM LC. Most times, they don't even try to answer. One poster here, ZNP, recently asked a "leading one" about an expulsion/quarantine that appeared politically-motivated; the man put his hands over his ears and said, "I'm a monkey". (During the Philip Lee Rebellion, one brother said, "I'm proud to be an ostrich with my head stuck in the sand." What is it about the LC that turns humans into marginally-functional animals?) But you may come up with an entirely different set of questions. Just be honest and open. Like the others have said here, seek first the kingdom of God and everything else will be added unto you. Make God's will for you the chief focus of your inquiry and the details will all come forth, "pressed down, shaken together, running over". On my question of David being violent toward Goliath (and others), and Samuel towards Agag, and the Israelites in general, many NT expositors besides Lee stumbled over this. The answer seems simple: "We fight not against flesh and blood, but against rulers, powers, authorities in the air. . . " But we do fight. Just not against humans, but rather spiritual forces. But if you read the RecV footnotes in the Psalms, Lee missed that. And he missed the True Warrior King, who caused demons to cry out in fear. "Ah! Jesus! Nazarene! You're the Holy One of God! Have you come to destroy us so soon?" &c. . Anyway, those were just thoughts from someone along the way. Find your own voice and you'll do fine. Peace.
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06-26-2017, 01:59 PM | #26 |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
For me, the main hypocrisy of the Local Church is its slide from the early 1960s "standing for the church in the city" to today operating as the religion of Witness Lee and Witness Lee's books. LC members today stand for "the ministry" (Witness Lee); they study "the ministry," promote "the ministry," distribute "the ministry," repeat "the ministry," "get constituted with" "the ministry," etc., etc. All of the organizations within what they call "the work" exist to promote Witness Lee (LSM, FTTA, BFA, Rhema, MSW, LME, etc., etc.)
In the end, you need to be genuine and sincere with the brother who talks with you. But if you are looking to raise a legitimate concern, I feel this one is the most important. |
06-27-2017, 03:47 AM | #27 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Quote:
Once he'd built his ideational pen, and lured us in, he turned up the heat, bit by bit; like frogs in a pot, we could jump out anytime but we sat there, stupefied, as our local churches became ministry stations.
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06-27-2017, 03:59 AM | #28 |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
You can look them all up. Peace Wang. Ruth Lee. Dora Yu. All of these and more are revered as pillars of the recovery movement. Yet none of them would last a week in the current regime. Doesn't anyone think that is strange?
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06-27-2017, 04:07 AM | #29 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Quote:
But look at the facts folks. The LC's only exist to keep LSM going and growing. They rob churches of their people and their resources. LSM keeps growing while the LC's keep shrinking.
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06-27-2017, 04:11 AM | #30 |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Ron Kangas sent them all to clean the bathrooms and cook dinner for the brothers. He said he had no use for "spiritual" sisters.
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06-27-2017, 08:10 PM | #31 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
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06-27-2017, 08:15 PM | #32 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
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My time in the local churches as an adult, I was for the locality I met with but when it came to trainings, conferences, etc I could care less. You see there was so much more profit in praying for one another than there was taking turning reading a sentence or two from ministry publications. Simply no comparison.
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06-27-2017, 08:35 PM | #33 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
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Is exclusive fellowship iwith the local churches conditional for the relationship to flourish? It should be communicated. Is the elder's opinion the overriding factor for the relationship to continue? It should be communicated. Sometimes love isn't enough. You need friendship, trust, and communication. Of course all of it is based on your fellowship in the Lord.
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06-27-2017, 08:57 PM | #34 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Quote:
I identify with two localities I was raised in Southern California. One of which I visit every several years, the demographics have changed.
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07-01-2017, 06:34 PM | #35 |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Another question: why was it good that Watchman Nee read some 3,000 Christian books by various authors, but, today we're restricted to one publication? What Special Sauce was he imbibing, that he maintained clarity while we'd all fall into confusion? Or was he really that smart, & we not so? As one wag put it, in the LC, "Kingdom" means "Me king - you dumb". And Nee was king - sorry, "Seer of the divine revelation in the present age."
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07-06-2017, 01:49 PM | #36 |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
When OGOP meets with this Elder, it is not so much for an honest discussion, but an attempt to convince this young man that the church is right. Collecting ideas of what to say to the Elder is not going to be of any real help. He is fully convinced in his own mind I can tell, and the Elder and probably this young lady are both convinced in theirs.
Having been around the church for many years, I would share that from my experience these combined marriages do not work out. By that I mean they do not work out for the best. I would be willing to bet a very large sum of money that no matter what she says prior to the marriage, she will desire to return once the marriage is completed. I will also share that it is my experience that very few successfully make the transfer into other denominations although there are some. It is always dangerous to go into a marriage with a desire to change something deep and essential about the other partner. If this young man is bothered by the church now, it will only worsen as the years go by. More than likely he will quit attending. And children need to be able to see their father attend church. This is very important --especially for young boys. If I were this young man, I would let this relationship go. When we are in love, we think we can never love again. That is just not true. It is difficult in today's times to remain married and to start off with such baggage puts the marriage in peril from the very beginning. One other thing I would like to mention is that if she does marry you, the Bible teaches that the man is to be the spiritual head of the house. This means that the woman should follow her husband into his church as long as this church recognizes the essentials of the faith and the fact that Jesus Christ is Lord of all and our one and only means of salvation. Surely this young woman knows her Bible. And if she seems to have forgotten this I would point it out to her. Because that's what the Bible says. And if we are true followers of Christ, we do what the Bible says, right? I feel very sorry for these young people who are going through these trying times. I have watched from a distance for many years. Most of these situations do not end well. And we need to remember that in the book of Hosea it says cursed is the man who leaves the wife of his youth. As you read farther down it clearly states that God desires that we remain married to our first spouse because this is more likely to bring forth godly children. We must think of our children. I'm truly sorry for all involved and even more sorry that the things that I have seen indicate that this marriage would be off to a very rocky start and that this rocky start would create such difficulties in the marriage that I think that it might not be successful. May the Lord bless them as they consider these things together. |
07-07-2017, 11:08 AM | #37 |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
So is there any update on what has happened?
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07-07-2017, 12:11 PM | #38 | ||
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
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Thank you everybody else for the question suggestions! |
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07-07-2017, 04:58 PM | #39 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
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Unreg in post 36 is providing you the best advice you will ever get anywhere from snybody. My sense in reading his/her post is that this the Lord's speaking for you. I believe this is more than a suggestion. Rather, it is His shepherding of you through this member of the Body. Take that post to the Lord in prayer. Drake |
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07-07-2017, 05:27 PM | #40 |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
For OGOP...
We all understand that you love her. We all know what love feels like. But I guess I differ with you and some others on this site because I know for certain that the members of the local church are true Christians saved by grace who simply desire to practice the faith in a manner that pleases them. Now, if they have decided that this no longer pleases them and they want to leave that is one thing. But they should not be CONVINCED to leave. It would be one thing if this were a satanic cult or a group that did not Faithfully preach that Jesus Christ is Lord and our only means of salvation. But they do this! And they do it Faithfully! Do they admire Witness Lee too much in my opinion? Yes! Do they fail to use the Bible enough in their meetings according to my own personal opinion? Yes! But in all the years that I have been among them I have seen over and over again that they have been faithful in every way to lift up Christ as Lord and speak of his Redemption as available to all who call upon him. All of the other things that we may not personally enjoy are things that they DO enjoy. And every denomination has the right to Worship in the manner that they please and have their own peculiar systems as long as the vital elements of the faith are not distorted. And they are not distorted in the local church. On your side, I say again that the Bible clearly teaches that the man is to be the spiritual leader of the home. If she chooses to marry you, she should agree to follow you into the church of your choice as long as it preaches Christ as Lord and Redeemer. In my opinion, it would also be perfectly okay if you as the spiritual leader gave her permission to continue attending her church. You could go on attending yours. This is not the best outcome at all. But it is an outcome that I have seen worked out. Maybe you both should consider that alternative. And stick to it if you both agree to it. It is not fair to change your mind later just because you decide you don't like it or she decides she doesn't like it. I have a personal acquaintance who is Jewish and his wife is a Methodist Christian. He attends his place of worship and she attends hers and the children take turns going to each one. Both children have turned out to be Christians but the household is at peace. And certainly invite her to come to your church. And do so without a spirit of showing her a supposedly more excellent way. It may be in your opinion a more excellent way, but she has to arrive at that conclusion alone and in sincerity. Pushing and controlling are never attractive or appropriate in any relationship. Neither one of you should require the other one to give up something that is very important to him or her... especially the ways that we feel connected to our God! You feel that she is too controlled in her church. And you feel that the leadership is controlling her. In this kind of situation we must take care that we ourselves are not becoming just like the very ones that we condemn. I wish you both the very best! This is the last time that i will address this. May the Lord bless you both richly. |
07-07-2017, 08:25 PM | #41 | |
Οὕτως γὰρ ἠγάπησεν ὁ θεὸς τὸν κόσμον For God So Loved The World
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
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So far, nothing that has been posted by you or any other of the Local Church apologists around here has gone very far to ease his suspicions and fears. In fact, they have probably heightened his concerns and fears for her spiritual and psychological well-being. -
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αὐτῷ ἡ δόξα καὶ τὸ κράτος εἰς τοὺς αἰῶνας τῶν αἰώνων ἀμήν - 1 Peter 5:11 |
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07-08-2017, 05:35 AM | #42 |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
I am sorry if you found my comment about them being true Christians a cheap shot! I guess that I know so many of them that are happy, healthy, sane, and normal that I feel I can say that it is not unsafe to be a part of them. Do I see major flaws? Yes! But don't we find these in many major denominations now? In fact, some mainline denominations will even allow you to go straight to perdition by never presenting the gospel and one's need to cry out to the Lord in a personal way. My SO was in a mainline group and came to Christ "accidentally" (divine appointment) through exploring Good News for Modern Man. Those denominations are a far greater danger in my opinion although they look "normal".
Looking back at my comment I am sorry if it implied that somehow I was "above" others in attitude or knowledge. I was not meaning to be critical at all toward those who do not see the LC as I do in this small case. Believe me, I have been a very vocal critic of the adulation given Lee and the contradiction of saying "each man has" but only allowing "revelation" released by Lee to stand or be heard. And I do not like the LSM and it's heavy hand. I agree with many things you say on this site. BUT-- if this young lady has been saved and enjoys the Lord, that is the most important thing that she can have in this life and if she enjoys her church, she has a right to that, as does he. I just think something is very unsettling here. Still, the greater truth remains that if she marries him, she is accepting his headship. The Bible is clear about this. UntoHim, and others, please forgive me if this appeared to be a cheap shot! It was only clumsiness of presentation of my thoughts that may have made it appear that way! |
07-08-2017, 09:20 AM | #43 |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
Unreg, as one well-practised in arts of clumsy presentation, I understand your attempts to communicate. Looking back, many of my posts probably appeared as thin and brittle and lacking charity as yours may have. But I'm often given a pass, being openly anti-LSM. May the Lord cover our shortcomings, if we inadvertently insult our readers. "Until we all arrive at the oneness"
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07-08-2017, 10:31 AM | #44 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
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I too have little good to say about LSM and many LC leaders, but much good to say about the many genuine Christians in the LC's. My Mom also read Good News for Modern Man as a Catholic and believed. I do hope you will register and post more.
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07-08-2017, 10:47 AM | #45 | |
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Re: UPDATE 6 months later. Meeting with an "elder"...
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Unregistered makes a good point that some groups "abuse" through their avoidance of the central gospel message: repent and believe. However, when it comes to groups that try to put the "fear of God" into members for leaving the group, the LCM is near the top of the heap. The International Church of Christ (ICC) is another (they also have a one church per city doctrine). You can search the Internet for testimonies of their abuse as well. http://www.reveal.org/ |
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