I AM SICK AND TIRED

Trapped · 05-22-2021, 11:39 AM

Welcome Noah!

You have your head screwed on right. I'm so encouraged by your post.

God did not ordain marriage (or the lead-up to marriage) between two people so that one of those people could neglect the other person in favor of "spending time with the brothers". This is totally antithetical to what marriage is in the Bible. The Bible shows that husbands are to lay their lives down for their wives, i.e. sacrifice FOR their wives, and wives are to submit to the husband who sacrifices for them.

What the local church does is teach the husbands to sacrifice their wives.....not to sacrifice themselves for their wives.

The wives get sacrificed every time the husband leaves her at home, and walks out the door away from her and toward "the brothers".....for the fourth night that week. I can't hardly think about how many married sisters in the church are silently suffering and neglected.

I totally get you about the robotic repetitions and dead same hymns, same ministry format of the meetings. I have a "selfie" picture on my phone where I am giving myself a totally bored out of my mind, frustrated, hair-pulling expression. Do you know what I was doing at the time I took that photo? I had arrived late (yet again) to a Sunday meeting, and was sitting just around the corner out of sight so everyone wouldn't know I was late, listening to the meeting, and rolling my eyes over and over at the utter dull, dry, lifeless, nonsense they were sharing from the HWMR. In the LC I couldn't express how fed up I was to anyone (because....it's the LC) and so I had to resort to expressing it to myself on my phone so I didn't explode. I stopped going to the weekend meetings when I looked at my own face in the photo and saw how ludicrous it was that I was doing that to myself......forcing myself to get up and drive to the meetings to endure that insanity over and over every weekend.

We are not made to bottle up or suppress our feelings, issues, or frustrations. Feel free to vent more here if you need to. I know that plenty of read-onlys (i.e., lurkers who don't post) will thoroughly relate to what you have said, even if you don't get written feedback.

Abusive groups, unhealthy groups, put unhealthy, un-human demands on their members. They commonly schedule so many gatherings and events like this so the members' lives are consumed with the group. The guilt-tripping, the shaming for not being 100% given to every activity is just another characteristic of abusive groups.

Are you thinking to leave the LC? Just curious about what you plan to do going forward. It sounds like you are technically still in it, but are trying to carve out a life outside of it's confines.

So happy you found someone you have a great relationship with. I wish all the best for you with her.

Trapped

05-22-2021, 11:39 AM	#3
Trapped Member Join Date: Mar 2018 Posts: 1,523	Re: I AM SICK AND TIRED Welcome Noah! You have your head screwed on right. I'm so encouraged by your post. God did not ordain marriage (or the lead-up to marriage) between two people so that one of those people could neglect the other person in favor of "spending time with the brothers". This is totally antithetical to what marriage is in the Bible. The Bible shows that husbands are to lay their lives down for their wives, i.e. sacrifice FOR their wives, and wives are to submit to the husband who sacrifices for them. What the local church does is teach the husbands to sacrifice their wives.....not to sacrifice themselves for their wives. The wives get sacrificed every time the husband leaves her at home, and walks out the door away from her and toward "the brothers".....for the fourth night that week. I can't hardly think about how many married sisters in the church are silently suffering and neglected. I totally get you about the robotic repetitions and dead same hymns, same ministry format of the meetings. I have a "selfie" picture on my phone where I am giving myself a totally bored out of my mind, frustrated, hair-pulling expression. Do you know what I was doing at the time I took that photo? I had arrived late (yet again) to a Sunday meeting, and was sitting just around the corner out of sight so everyone wouldn't know I was late, listening to the meeting, and rolling my eyes over and over at the utter dull, dry, lifeless, nonsense they were sharing from the HWMR. In the LC I couldn't express how fed up I was to anyone (because....it's the LC) and so I had to resort to expressing it to myself on my phone so I didn't explode. I stopped going to the weekend meetings when I looked at my own face in the photo and saw how ludicrous it was that I was doing that to myself......forcing myself to get up and drive to the meetings to endure that insanity over and over every weekend. We are not made to bottle up or suppress our feelings, issues, or frustrations. Feel free to vent more here if you need to. I know that plenty of read-onlys (i.e., lurkers who don't post) will thoroughly relate to what you have said, even if you don't get written feedback. Abusive groups, unhealthy groups, put unhealthy, un-human demands on their members. They commonly schedule so many gatherings and events like this so the members' lives are consumed with the group. The guilt-tripping, the shaming for not being 100% given to every activity is just another characteristic of abusive groups. Are you thinking to leave the LC? Just curious about what you plan to do going forward. It sounds like you are technically still in it, but are trying to carve out a life outside of it's confines. So happy you found someone you have a great relationship with. I wish all the best for you with her. Trapped