Do You Try To Speak The Truth To Your Parents, Or Let Them Be?

ExChurchKid · 11-24-2020, 07:31 AM

Trapped,
I think I have a completely different situation, so I may not be that helpful, but I wanted to share what's happening with my parents. My mother has a personality disorder that she refuses to acknowledge or treat, so that's a whole other can of worms...but it is somewhat related, because I think the Recovery has become part of what she clings to as her identity (people with personality disorders often struggle with feeling okay in themselves), so I don't think she'll ever be able to reject the Recovery. The teachings are basically tailor made for people like her; very extreme and all-consuming. Both my parents were emotionally abusive to me, of which forcing me into the LC was a large part. It's all very intertwined. All I'm looking for from my father to be on more than texting terms is for him to admit that forcing me into the LC was abusive. I'm not even asking him to say the LC is wrong, because I know his brain would explode if he tried. The Recovery becomes way too much of a person's identity. All of his decisions, his marriage, everything since college, are based on the Recovery's teachings. I think even though he knows he messed up with parenting, as long as he clings to LC teachings, he can tell himself that he wasn't abusive to me. That it isn't completely his fault as a parent. For reference, my parents are in their early 60s, but not exactly in amazing health. My mother is "retired", i.e. unemployed for years now by choice, and my father will probably work until he dies because she spends all of his money. I personally have no hope that either of them will change before they die.

Sorry, I think I went on a bit of a rant there! I hope something I said contributed to the discussion helpfully.

11-24-2020, 07:31 AM	#5
ExChurchKid Member Join Date: Nov 2020 Posts: 150	Re: Do You Try To Speak The Truth To Your Parents, Or Let Them Be? Trapped, I think I have a completely different situation, so I may not be that helpful, but I wanted to share what's happening with my parents. My mother has a personality disorder that she refuses to acknowledge or treat, so that's a whole other can of worms...but it is somewhat related, because I think the Recovery has become part of what she clings to as her identity (people with personality disorders often struggle with feeling okay in themselves), so I don't think she'll ever be able to reject the Recovery. The teachings are basically tailor made for people like her; very extreme and all-consuming. Both my parents were emotionally abusive to me, of which forcing me into the LC was a large part. It's all very intertwined. All I'm looking for from my father to be on more than texting terms is for him to admit that forcing me into the LC was abusive. I'm not even asking him to say the LC is wrong, because I know his brain would explode if he tried. The Recovery becomes way too much of a person's identity. All of his decisions, his marriage, everything since college, are based on the Recovery's teachings. I think even though he knows he messed up with parenting, as long as he clings to LC teachings, he can tell himself that he wasn't abusive to me. That it isn't completely his fault as a parent. For reference, my parents are in their early 60s, but not exactly in amazing health. My mother is "retired", i.e. unemployed for years now by choice, and my father will probably work until he dies because she spends all of his money. I personally have no hope that either of them will change before they die. Sorry, I think I went on a bit of a rant there! I hope something I said contributed to the discussion helpfully.