Why not just move on?

[JJ]

Originally Posted by UntoHim

Great jesusislord! Go for it! Who's stopping you? Please feel free to share your positive things in life! I really mean it. If you feel that this is what is needed on this forum, then take the lead! I'm sure many will follow your lead and the forum will be much better for it.
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This area of the boards is a good place for sharing the positive things of This Life
http://localchurchdiscussions.com/vB...splay.php?f=33
Acts 5:20 https://biblehub.com/blb/acts/5.htm

[Melo]

jesusislord This is actually something I've been thinking for some months now. I guess I'd fall under the category of 20-somethings that were heavily affected by the 'church kid' upbringing but have since decided to leave.

I'm super grateful for this site for providing some valuable information I needed, but I've pretty quickly lost interest in engaging too much on here. I'm not interested in staying inside an echo-chamber of 'LC = bad', where even slight dissent is met with derision.

On the flip side, you could argue that it is important for some people to remain active on this forum. Suppose a young person were to stumble upon here, it might be helpful for them to hear back from others who have gone through the same. I remember that was me at one point.

It is worth considering exactly WHY you are on this forum. For those of you well-established in much healthier Christian groups it seems odd to me to want to keep coming here to talk about how bad the LC is, politics, or whatever when you could do so easily in person. I don't mean that to sound condescending, because I've done my share of ruminating, but I must admit it's a quite stagnant existence.

[Side note: I think this post will mark my departure from this site; I've come to my own conclusions about things and am ready to move on. It's been a hoot and I'm so blessed to have stumbled upon this site when I did. All the best to you all!]

[aron]

Originally Posted by Melo

It is worth considering exactly WHY you are on this forum. For those of you well-established in much healthier Christian groups it seems odd to me to want to keep coming here to talk about how bad the LC is, politics, or whatever when you could do so easily in person. I don't mean that to sound condescending, because I've done my share of ruminating, but I must admit it's a quite stagnant existence.

Melo, anything can become a stagnant existence. And anything can be a vibrant, evolving existence. It is up to the individual. And yes, I'm trying to own my own journey.

Here is a recent post on FB. Shows the level of deprogramming sometimes needed.

Originally Posted by FB member

during the last two years, I've experienced what I can only describe as an invisible parasitic virus being ripped out of my body. As children in the Lord's Recovery, we were indoctrinated. If this doesn't alarm you, please read more about this form of child abuse. When someone chooses to leave the belief system that was indoctrinated into them, the indoctrination is designed to work against you. It's designed to tell you, "you are evil/you are poisonous/you're a disappointment to God/you aren't good enough to be a part of God's best/etc/' Being around family and friends that are indoctrinated is especially hard bc you are now an "outsider." You know exactly what they're thinking of you bc you used the think the same thing about other people!

I remember having months of just telling myself, "You have done the research, you have talked to countless people, you are using critical thinking skills, you logically KNOW you are doing the right thing, you know to go back would mean you're betraying yourself, you KNOW God still loves you, you KNOW you still have value." It was almost too much to bear. During this time, I also had to face many issues about my childhood. In the church, it's very common to frame the family life as "ideal." While I'm thankful to my parents, they didn't know (likely bc of church influence) about healthy boundaries. I had to confront my past, take responsibility for my own life, kick the learned helplessness to the curb, relearn my own personal belief system, deal with the immense pain of unindoctrination, and deal with the fact that my life was nothing like I thought it was. I had to humble myself to the fact that the "world" actually had a lot more things right than the "Lord's Recovery." The "world" can't be dumped into one category. The world is very diverse with all kinds of pure love but also evil. The "world" is just life.

For those out there still struggling with "unindoctrination" and "reprogramming", there are resources for you. You are not alone. The book I referenced in post #2 was a huge help for me.

[Cal]

Just so you know, I pray about my participation on this board, and it's important to me to know I have proper motivations for doing so. I know some divorced men who years after their divorce are still going around and around with negativity about their former wives. Obviously they haven't dealt with everything, but perhaps they are not really trying to deal with things as well as they could, and so might be caught in a whirlpool. That is certainly possible here as well.

I just know how hard it was for me to figure things out about the LR, and how much help this board was. Now I feel I am equipped to help some. I have a strong sense of indignation about the injustice of the group. And God said to fight for the justice of the oppressed. And like aron, I like to write. I honestly feel the Lord is pleased with my participation. But I continue praying about to make sure I'm not just here doing my own thing.

I think all of us need to pray as well as participate. Just going around and around here can become a whirlpool. But just because someone is a long-time contributor here does not mean he or she has that problem.