Why not just move on?

[Cal]

Originally Posted by jesusislord

No church is perfect, if the Lc doesn't suite you or abused by anyone within it, isnt it easier or healthier to just forgive and move on? Keep lingering or live in the past is wasting time and adding more negativity to ourselves. I know it's hard to move on completely coz some of us spent yrs within it and got damaged..

You answered you own question. Why not just move on from any trauma? Because the trauma has produced issues that are not trivial.

Another reason is some dwell on the issue of the LR to help others. It isn't about them, it's about helping other process the experience of the group.

[awareness]

Originally Posted by Igzy

You answered you own question. Why not just move on from any trauma? Because the trauma has produced issues that are not trivial.

Another reason is some dwell on the issue of the LR to help others. It isn't about them, it's about helping other process the experience of the group.

I dwell on it because I'm still wondering what was wrong with me for joining it.

Also, because the LC is such a high impact cult, that it permanently bent my tree, like a hurricane does a palm tree.

[aron]

Originally Posted by Igzy

You answered you own question. Why not just move on from any trauma? Because the trauma has produced issues that are not trivial...

Now for some, the experience may indeed be trivial. Suppose a college student gets invited to a "Christians on Campus" meeting. Seems... okay... then they do some digging and find out more, & they're like, Uh, no. But no trauma was produced - they simply move on. It was a trivial experience.

A church kid who spent the first 20 or 35 years of their life, essentially 24/7, on the other hand, may need to do some serious unpacking, if they really want to "move on." The amount of stuff that got clogged in their mental/emotional/psychological system in that time is rather daunting to consider.

Suppose three people come back home from a war abroad. One served in the commissary, gets out, gets a job at Wal-Mart and he's off to civilian life. Another was pretty shaken up but goes through 8 months of outpatient counseling and gets an Associate's Degree and becomes a computer repair person at Best Buy and life goes on. The third person has freaky PTSD, saw his 2 best friends dismembered in a HUMVEE by a roadside IED. He's got a bit of a slog ahead, perhaps.

There is 'stress', which is endemic to life and can even be helpful. Think of athletics for example, or chess. Then there is 'traumatic stress' which leaves a distorting imprint and lessens one's ability to deal with their life. That's where dissociative psychological conditions come in, and eating disorders, compulsions, addictions, depression, self-harm, etc. All mark failed attempts to "cope", or compensate, with the trauma and the effects it had on one's person.

[JJ]

Well said you guys!

[jesusislord]

Originally Posted by aron

Now for some, the experience may indeed be trivial. Suppose a college student gets invited to a "Christians on Campus" meeting. Seems... okay... then they do some digging and find out more, & they're like, Uh, no. But no trauma was produced - they simply move on. It was a trivial experience.

A church kid who spent the first 20 or 35 years of their life, essentially 24/7, on the other hand, may need to do some serious unpacking, if they really want to "move on." The amount of stuff that got clogged in their mental/emotional/psychological system in that time is rather daunting to consider.

Suppose three people come back home from a war abroad. One served in the commissary, gets out, gets a job at Wal-Mart and he's off to civilian life. Another was pretty shaken up but goes through 8 months of outpatient counseling and gets an Associate's Degree and becomes a computer repair person at Best Buy and life goes on. The third person has freaky PTSD, saw his 2 best friends dismembered in a HUMVEE by a roadside IED. He's got a bit of a slog ahead, perhaps.

There is 'stress', which is endemic to life and can even be helpful. Think of athletics for example, or chess. Then there is 'traumatic stress' which leaves a distorting imprint and lessens one's ability to deal with their life. That's where dissociative psychological conditions come in, and eating disorders, compulsions, addictions, depression, self-harm, etc. All mark failed attempts to "cope", or compensate, with the trauma and the effects it had on one's person.

Well said, but what I see in this forum is that many of us just keep ranting and bad talking about stuff that has happened. Detoxification should be finding a better place, back to God gospel, sharing with each others the positive things in life etc

[UntoHim]

Originally Posted by jesusislord

Well said, but what I see in this forum is that many of us just keep ranting and bad talking about stuff that has happened. Detoxification should be finding a better place, back to God gospel, sharing with each others the positive things in life etc

Great jesusislord! Go for it! Who's stopping you? Please feel free to share your positive things in life! I really mean it. If you feel that this is what is needed on this forum, then take the lead! I'm sure many will follow your lead and the forum will be much better for it.
-

[JJ]

Originally Posted by UntoHim

Great jesusislord! Go for it! Who's stopping you? Please feel free to share your positive things in life! I really mean it. If you feel that this is what is needed on this forum, then take the lead! I'm sure many will follow your lead and the forum will be much better for it.
-

This area of the boards is a good place for sharing the positive things of This Life
http://localchurchdiscussions.com/vB...splay.php?f=33
Acts 5:20 https://biblehub.com/blb/acts/5.htm

[Melo]

jesusislord This is actually something I've been thinking for some months now. I guess I'd fall under the category of 20-somethings that were heavily affected by the 'church kid' upbringing but have since decided to leave.

I'm super grateful for this site for providing some valuable information I needed, but I've pretty quickly lost interest in engaging too much on here. I'm not interested in staying inside an echo-chamber of 'LC = bad', where even slight dissent is met with derision.

On the flip side, you could argue that it is important for some people to remain active on this forum. Suppose a young person were to stumble upon here, it might be helpful for them to hear back from others who have gone through the same. I remember that was me at one point.

It is worth considering exactly WHY you are on this forum. For those of you well-established in much healthier Christian groups it seems odd to me to want to keep coming here to talk about how bad the LC is, politics, or whatever when you could do so easily in person. I don't mean that to sound condescending, because I've done my share of ruminating, but I must admit it's a quite stagnant existence.

[Side note: I think this post will mark my departure from this site; I've come to my own conclusions about things and am ready to move on. It's been a hoot and I'm so blessed to have stumbled upon this site when I did. All the best to you all!]

[aron]

Originally Posted by Melo

It is worth considering exactly WHY you are on this forum. For those of you well-established in much healthier Christian groups it seems odd to me to want to keep coming here to talk about how bad the LC is, politics, or whatever when you could do so easily in person. I don't mean that to sound condescending, because I've done my share of ruminating, but I must admit it's a quite stagnant existence.

Melo, anything can become a stagnant existence. And anything can be a vibrant, evolving existence. It is up to the individual. And yes, I'm trying to own my own journey.

Here is a recent post on FB. Shows the level of deprogramming sometimes needed.

Originally Posted by FB member

during the last two years, I've experienced what I can only describe as an invisible parasitic virus being ripped out of my body. As children in the Lord's Recovery, we were indoctrinated. If this doesn't alarm you, please read more about this form of child abuse. When someone chooses to leave the belief system that was indoctrinated into them, the indoctrination is designed to work against you. It's designed to tell you, "you are evil/you are poisonous/you're a disappointment to God/you aren't good enough to be a part of God's best/etc/' Being around family and friends that are indoctrinated is especially hard bc you are now an "outsider." You know exactly what they're thinking of you bc you used the think the same thing about other people!

I remember having months of just telling myself, "You have done the research, you have talked to countless people, you are using critical thinking skills, you logically KNOW you are doing the right thing, you know to go back would mean you're betraying yourself, you KNOW God still loves you, you KNOW you still have value." It was almost too much to bear. During this time, I also had to face many issues about my childhood. In the church, it's very common to frame the family life as "ideal." While I'm thankful to my parents, they didn't know (likely bc of church influence) about healthy boundaries. I had to confront my past, take responsibility for my own life, kick the learned helplessness to the curb, relearn my own personal belief system, deal with the immense pain of unindoctrination, and deal with the fact that my life was nothing like I thought it was. I had to humble myself to the fact that the "world" actually had a lot more things right than the "Lord's Recovery." The "world" can't be dumped into one category. The world is very diverse with all kinds of pure love but also evil. The "world" is just life.

For those out there still struggling with "unindoctrination" and "reprogramming", there are resources for you. You are not alone. The book I referenced in post #2 was a huge help for me.

[Ohio]

Originally Posted by jesusislord

Well said, but what I see in this forum is that many of us just keep ranting and bad talking about stuff that has happened. Detoxification should be finding a better place, back to God gospel, sharing with each others the positive things in life etc

Can you provide some detail here? What do you mean "bad talking stuff that happened?"

This could be taken many ways. I, for one, often mention the LC history surrounding the quarantines of Max, Ingalls, and Chu. This is not because I am "stuck" there, but because others are. Many lurkers/readers have never heard the actual facts or the truth of what happened. These were LC cataclymic events in which leaders seriously lied and deceived all LC members. The nature of this forum requires these stories to be told and retold from a multitude of directions.

Detox, both for me and for many others, requires a certain amount of unleavening, unlearning, and unpacking of old narratives formerly accepted as truth. This forum provides serious value, based on years of positive feedback, by addressing these historical narratives long hidden from sight by deceptive leaders at LSM.

[aron]

Originally Posted by jesusislord

Well said, but what I see in this forum is that many of us just keep ranting and bad talking about stuff that has happened. Detoxification should be finding a better place, back to God gospel, sharing with each others the positive things in life etc

The opportunity is there. For example, I wrote of the positive things that I see of Jesus Christ in the Psalms.

Psalm 3:5 "I (Christ) laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the LORD (the Father) sustained me." equals John 10:18 "No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received of my Father." (KJV)

But this was in a section where I was discussing WL's dismissal of the OT text and his poor reasoning. According to WL, nobody can please God. Um, there's this guy named Jesus...

Or, Psalm 18:10 "He (the Father) brought me (Christ the Son) out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me." see e.g., "And a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." from Matthew 3:17 (NIV)

My point is that in noting deficiencies in the RecV footnote, we have opportunities to point out more helpful and profitable approaches. Sometimes we take advantages of these opportunities and sometimes we don't. I recently did (or tried) the same thing on the "God's economy" thread. It's not just enough to point out the emptiness of the LC teaching, but some correction or alternative might be needed.

Originally Posted by Igzy

Another reason is some dwell on the issue of the LR to help others. It isn't about them, it's about helping other process the experience of the group.

Originally Posted by Ohio

The nature of this forum requires these stories to be told and retold from a multitude of directions.... this forum provides serious value, based on years of positive feedback, by addressing these historical narratives long hidden from sight by deceptive leaders at LSM.

The LSM has dozens or hundreds of paid operatives trolling college campuses, looking for naive 19 year-olds. Those young students should be warned. A couple of years ago I was chatting with a LC'er who told me of the scores of operatives working the campus, and the phrase I heard was "fresh blood for the body". I mean, that's vampire talk.

And there are hundreds of people ejected by their system, who are confused, frightened, frustrated. What just happened? Am I really going into a thousand years of torment for not reading LSM materials and going to their "perfecting training"? And what happens to me if I get a 'negative' thought (i.e. try to think critically)?

For them, this forum exists. Not for me. I just like to write. (but it has helped me a lot)

[Bubbles!]

Originally Posted by aron

Now for some, the experience may indeed be trivial. Suppose a college student gets invited to a "Christians on Campus" meeting. Seems... okay... then they do some digging and find out more, & they're like, Uh, no. But no trauma was produced - they simply move on. It was a trivial experience.

A church kid who spent the first 20 or 35 years of their life, essentially 24/7, on the other hand, may need to do some serious unpacking, if they really want to "move on." The amount of stuff that got clogged in their mental/emotional/psychological system in that time is rather daunting to consider.

Suppose three people come back home from a war abroad. One served in the commissary, gets out, gets a job at Wal-Mart and he's off to civilian life. Another was pretty shaken up but goes through 8 months of outpatient counseling and gets an Associate's Degree and becomes a computer repair person at Best Buy and life goes on. The third person has freaky PTSD, saw his 2 best friends dismembered in a HUMVEE by a roadside IED. He's got a bit of a slog ahead, perhaps.

There is 'stress', which is endemic to life and can even be helpful. Think of athletics for example, or chess. Then there is 'traumatic stress' which leaves a distorting imprint and lessens one's ability to deal with their life. That's where dissociative psychological conditions come in, and eating disorders, compulsions, addictions, depression, self-harm, etc. All mark failed attempts to "cope", or compensate, with the trauma and the effects it had on one's person.

Well put, Aron. We're all different. Our life circumstances are different. I was not raised in the ''cow.'' ( LC=Elsie, Borden's cow!! ) I have been single all the time, so, raising a family in the cow wasn't part of my experience. I came in to LC in 1974. I was steady until 1987, when the effects of the ''new way'' came to my locality. I had a weird sense about it. From there, I was in and out. As of now, I haven't been to a meeting since 2009. The meetings are just not what they once were. The focus has shifted from building up saints in a local church, to FTT this FTT that.
The ministry has gone from a small office in WLs tiny apartment, to a multi million dollar business, with who knows how many subsidiaries.