My Testimony

[New Beginnings]

Originally Posted by aron

NB,

Here's a testimony of someone who struggled to find her way, outside the LC. Many, many have gone before you. The same Spirit will guide you.

Perfect timing for this, thank you.

I finally met with my friend, the pastor's wife last night. I was able to speak to her openly without sugar-coating it all, as I have the tendency to do.

I feel peace now. I have let go of so much uncertainty. I may be too weak to pursue my Savior right now, but knowing that my friend and her husband will be pursuing my family for the Lord gives me absolute peace.

Apparently, my friend and her husband have had experience helping people coming out of abusive groups. I find it simply amazing how our God arranges our circumstances.

[aron]

Originally Posted by New Beginnings

I feel peace now. I have let go of so much uncertainty. I may be too weak to pursue my Savior right now, but knowing that my friend and her husband will be pursuing my family for the Lord gives me absolute peace...

I can say without equivocation that the best thing I did, post-LC, was seek Christian fellowship. Besides my personal faith, and my experience of Christ in the Bible, Christian fellowship is the bedrock of my life. Fellowship is the protection of the flock, from the snares of the enemy.

[New Beginnings]

I feel that I must write again, for the sake of the broken sisters. I hope that some will find their way here, and that my story will give them hope.

I have been in a dark place that seems so endless. I never knew how much pain was locked in my heart. There is no fight left in me. I have completely surrendered and continue to surrender daily.

I find small fragments of joy and peace around me. I begin my day in the Word of God. I play my piano and sing praises to my King. My sweet sister in Christ is supplying me each day with text messages full of scripture, prayer and encouragement.

The Lord is using my children to speak to me. My 9 year old boy came into my room while I was reading my Bible and asked me what I was doing. A bit exasperated, I told him that I was trying to figure out what God is going to do in my life. My son then said, “Oh, come on mommy, only God can know that.” I had to laugh.

I think I am beginning to understand what my next step in Faith must be. It is absolutely terrifying. But I am in God’s hands now and I know that he will meet all my needs. I have found proof in the Word of God of his unfailing love for me.

As I lay awake restless in the night, I find my thoughts drifting to things that I have always hoped for but never seemed possible. As these thoughts become tangible in my mind, I find just a little more hope. One day, the Lord will bring me to a place where I am never afraid.

Peace & Happy New Year!
May we all find new beginnings this year.

[UntoHim]

Originally Posted by New Beginnings

I am in God’s hands now and I know that he will meet all my needs. I have found proof in the Word of God of his unfailing love for me.

Bless you for posting this sister! We ALL need this kind of hope and encouragement, especially for the new year coming upon us tonight!

Hang in there sis! Your LCD brothers and sisters are here for you, to pray for you, encourage you and help you in any way we can.

Your brother who is unto Him

[Ohio]

Peace & Happy New Year!
May we all find new beginnings this year.

Yes indeed! I can hear much hope in your words!

As the angel announced at His first coming,

Do not fear!
For, behold, I bring you good news of great joy!
Which will be for all people!
Because a Savior is born to you today!
Who is Christ the Lord!

[New Beginnings]

Originally Posted by UntoHim

Bless you for posting this sister! We ALL need this kind of hope and encouragement, especially for the new year coming upon us tonight!

Hang in there sis! Your LCD brothers and sisters are here for you, to pray for you, encourage you and help you in any way we can.

Your brother who is unto Him

Thank you for your encouragement to keep posting! I need it.

I suppose I should have added to the list of things that bring me hope, that I carry you all around with me in my pocket (via the smart phone), obsessively checking for more words of wisdom. But I thought that might sound too silly.

The sun is shinning brightly today on my cold, snowy home.
It is just so BRIGHT!

[aron]

Originally Posted by New Beginnings

I feel that I must write again, for the sake of the broken sisters. I hope that some will find their way here, and that my story will give them hope...

We all applaud your courage to be able to write your thoughts, and display them for examination. The Local Church program is one of silence and intimidation.

And the women have it worst of all, by an exponential factor. "Don't think" is pressed down on you like a thousand-pound brick.

But God gave you a brain and a heart. You've discovered that this is real and true and you're acknowledging that. He who has begun the journey in you will carry it through. Your efforts are indeed feeble, as are mine and the rest, but Jesus promised us help. He said that the Comforter would come, and aid us (see e.g. John 14). Paul echoed this when he said that we don't know how to pray, but that the Advocate from above will come and help us in our weakness (Rom 8).

Lastly, the promise of the Lord is clear, and firm: those who seek will indeed find. If you take Him at his word, and pursue the promise found in Him, I daresay you'll not be disappointed.

[aron]

Originally Posted by aron

The Local Church program is one of silence and intimidation. And the women have it worst of all, by an exponential factor.

One thing to consider, and even publicly consider in front of your husband, is why did the 'recovery' movement so prominently include women in its formative years, while today, 100 years later, no woman can function at all?

Madame Guyon, Dora Yu, Peace Wang, Ruth Lee, Margaret Barber, Miss Groves (Barber's peer), Jessie Penn-Lewis, Mary McDonough (tripartite man): all of these women played formative roles in the lives of Nee and Lee as they grew. Yet today none of them would be allowed to give a Lord's Day talk, or even teach privately.

If you ask your husband this, not in the way of confrontation or antagonism, but in a genuine quest to find an answer, he may consider. I mean, what is the answer, here? Maybe there is a good one, that I haven't come up with yet. Possible.

Just asking questions, gently and genuinely and openly, is a good start. Your husband has a logical mind, designed by God. The reflexive, don't-think-don't-ask program of the LC has suppressed it, but it is merely latent. Begin to gently poke it and it will emerge like a small green sprout in the sun.

Happy new year. May it be the year of many small beginnings. Zechariah 4:10 (NLT)

[New Beginnings]

Originally Posted by aron

One thing to consider, and even publicly consider in front of your husband, is why did the 'recovery' movement so prominently include women in its formative years, while today, 100 years later, no woman can function at all?

Madame Guyon, Dora Yu, Peace Wang, Ruth Lee, Margaret Barber, Miss Groves (Barber's peer), Jessie Penn-Lewis, Mary McDonough (tripartite man): all of these women played formative roles in the lives of Nee and Lee as they grew. Yet today none of them would be allowed to give a Lord's Day talk, or even teach privately.

If you ask your husband this, not in the way of confrontation or antagonism, but in a genuine quest to find an answer, he may consider. I mean, what is the answer, here? Maybe there is a good one, that I haven't come up with yet. Possible.

Just asking questions, gently and genuinely and openly, is a good start. Your husband has a logical mind, designed by God. The reflexive, don't-think-don't-ask program of the LC has suppressed it, but it is merely latent. Begin to gently poke it and it will emerge like a small green sprout in the sun.

Happy new year. May it be the year of many small beginnings. Zechariah 4:10 (NLT)

Forgive me for my bitterness and brutal honesty, it is bound to show through from time to time.

I know what my husband thinks of women. He learned it from his father and it was reaffirmed by the LC. I have no desire to ask him that question at the moment.

In an attempted to end on a positive note, I will say that I hope with all my heart that the Lord does save my husband for the sake of my children.

[New Beginnings]

I’m feeling thoughtful today. My bitterness had a sobering effect and my hope bubble is slowly floating back down to earth.

There is a fine line between guidance and manipulation. This leads to another fine line between submissive versus victim. Leading even further into darkness, is the inability to distinguish pain versus pleasure. Ultimately it comes down to Love versus Fear.

In reality, love is the opposite of fear. Only perfect love can cast out all fear.

When we were told to “drop our concepts and get out of our mind,” and when we were told to “die to our fallen self” to gain the Lord, we lose touch with our discerning hearts. If we simply live in denial of all the pain and fear in our lives, believing that it will all just float away and we will be in the “heavenlies,” then one day we will awake in an abysmal pit of despair.

I think I can finally say that I am thankful for my experience in the LC and my painful marriage. I needed to feel the deepest pain and fear before I could know what love is.

[aron]

Originally Posted by New Beginnings

Forgive me for my bitterness and brutal honesty, it is bound to show through from time to time.

I know what my husband thinks of women. He learned it from his father and it was reaffirmed by the LC. I have no desire to ask him that question at the moment.

Okay. But this thread has 600+ views over 10 days, if I can trust the little counter thingy... so beyond the 10 regulars on this site we can assume maybe several dozen other readers. So we can ask ourselves out loud, and allow anyone to answer, either privately or on this forum:

"Why is it that women were so instrumental in the formative years of the 'recovery' movement, but today are forbidden from exercising their God-given talents in any meaningful way?"

Yes they are probably inherently more sensitive vessels (generally speaking), and somewhat weaker physically (generally speaking) but what makes them functionally void, today? And why were they prominently functioning in God's 'recovery' move, 140, 100, and 85 years ago?

To me this leads to a logical conundrum. If women were not supposed to teach, then Nee's ministry, based so heavily on Guyon and Penn-Lewis and Barber and Yu and Wang and others, absorbed their repressed hysteria (or whatever disqualifies them), and was inherently unstable, and commensurately invalid. But if it was legitimate for them to lay the foundation-stones of Nee's programme, then why were they subsequently forbidden from going on, in any way, shape or form?

You then have the apparent incongruity of building monuments to the prophets that you stone to death, today. A Dora Yu or a Peace Wang or Ruth Lee wouldn't last one week in the system Witness Lee made; if they had any talents, and any burden, they'd be blasted for drawing others after themselves, for rebellion, etc etc. And this has continued with Maximum Brothers like BP and RK, who've done nothing but exhibit disdain for the spiritual capacity of LC sisters. I could give you quotes but won't bother.

So, can sisters function in any meaningful capacity? If no, then Watchman Nee's ministry is probably illigitimate. If yes, then what happened? Answers, please - surely one of our dozens of readers can help solve this puzzle.