Non-LC member dating an LC member--help!

[Nell]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

...how can I walk away and hope he will change if he never will.

I need to be set free from this mess.

Thank you,

"Searching"

Searching,

This may seem cruel and heartless to you, but it's the best advice I can give you. Your friend will not change. If he does change, it might be for the worse. You can't make this about him. It has to be about you. You can't follow the Lord for him. You can only follow the Lord for yourself---and this you must do.

It's not about the FTT. Today you have a problem with the FTT. Tomorrow, you will have a problem with some other aspect of the Local Church of Witness Lee.

It appears that you have very good instincts. I would go with that. Most of us stayed in the Local Church because we ignored the warnings...the same ones the Lord is giving you. The way to be set free from "this mess" is to walk away and don't look back. I think I can safely say that all of us wish we had walked away long before we did.

You ARE free to walk away. You're not married to him, so you are free. Here's another biblical truth. A man's wife should be first in his life. In the LC they teach "if you take care of the church, the Lord will take care of your family." This is wrong, but you will always be "second" in his life. You will never understand why. You will only know the pain of being a woman whose husband allowed a "church" to violate her marriage. This is a common testimony on this forum for both men and women forum members.

There is such a thing as a "religious addiction". This is what you are seeing in your friend. There is really nothing you can do that will cause him to change. In fact, that's not your job. Only God can change him. God can only change him when he sees his need to follow the Lord---not Witness Lee---and makes the choice to do so.

It might also help you to find a Christian counsellor.

Again, your instincts are good. Thank the Lord for that. Ask the Lord to help you and give you the courage to follow Him and Him alone. Read your Bible. Just start at the beginning and read it like it is a book. Don't look for answers, for now, just read. Thank the Lord for where you are in your life and that He is your Lord and Savior.

Your friend is right. You are not equally yoked. There is no way you can be as long as he puts the local church first---before you. Give him to the Lord. Pray for him as the Lord leads, but in your heart, you are walking away to follow the Lord. Put him in the Lord's capable hands, realizing that you can't fix him.

This may sound harsh. I wish I had heard these words and had the courage to walk away long before I did.

Bless you in the path the Lord has for you. Cry your tears. God counts them all.


Nell

[boughtbyJesus]

Originally Posted by Nell

Searching,

You ARE free to walk away. You're not married to him, so you are free. Here's another biblical truth. A man's wife should be first in his life. In the LC they teach "if you take care of the church, the Lord will take care of your family." This is wrong, but you will always be "second" in his life. You will never understand why. You will only know the pain of being a woman whose husband allowed a "church" to violate her marriage. This is a common testimony on this forum for both men and women forum members.

Nell

Searching,
Nell has spoken some wise words that you will hopefully be encouraged to ponder and give serious consideration to and of course, pray about. I think that sometimes, a woman's natural instinct to nurture causes us to believe we can "change" someone and take on a burden that is not ours to take on. You will never be able to change him or what is in his heart or the deception that he is in. Only the Lord can do that.

I am currently experiencing my own spiritual battle with my husband in regards to him "taking care of the church" and placing me 2nd. Mind you, keep in mind that we have been married for close to 20 years now and have two young children (8 & 9 years) together. I always remind him that God comes 1st, before anyone or anything, not "the church" and that I am NOT the burden WL has said wives are to their husbands.

[Ohio]

Originally Posted by boughtbyJesus

I am currently experiencing my own spiritual battle with my husband in regards to him "taking care of the church" and placing me 2nd. Mind you, keep in mind that we have been married for close to 20 years now and have two young children (8 & 9 years) together. I always remind him that God comes 1st, before anyone or anything, not "the church" and that I am NOT the burden WL has said wives are to their husbands.

The LC constantly indoctrinates their people to "consecrate their lives to Christ and the church." They use Acts 9.5 to convince their people that we can never "separate Christ and the church." What a twisting of scripture!

Many of us can testify that putting "Christ and the church" first in our lives before our own families left us with neither Christ nor our family. Our first love to the Lord got replaced with endless hours of studying and reading LC literature. Our families got replaced by endless hours of church service in their programs.

Many members did not wake up until after their families fell apart. It was after I left the LC that the light of God shined in my heart when some pastor at the community church said, "first the Lord, then our family, then our work, then our church service." What a liberating word that was. "The truth shall set you free."