Testimony of RCTW

[Nell]

Originally Posted by RCTW

Aron, thanks for your reply. It is amazing that how you can be filled with love to others after waking up from LC. I wish one day I could be the same. I am becoming very protective about myself and getting hard to open up. Recently researched on the topic of God's Grace, one article says God's Grace protects us like a shield. It got me thinking that if I offer love and kindness to people, God's Grace will shield me from any harm. It's ok to feel being hurt sometime. We look unto God for his reward and He restores.

I decided to stop going to LC last week and still adjusting. Keep praying that I can find a suitable church and new fellowship in Jesus.

One thing LC did help me with is they are really trying to touch some of the difficult topics in Bible in a systematic way. Although I either not understanding or disagreeing on the LC materials, I spent a lot of time to research on the topics in a wider Christian world. With the guidance of Holy Spirit, I am learning and changing in this way. Praise the Lord.

Here's my take on finding a "suitable church" after the LC.

It sounds like you have started on a healthy path. As for finding a suitable church, I have long believed that the greatest error of the Local Church of Witness Lee is to promote a dependence of believers on "church", in this case, on Lee and the LC leadership. As a result, believers who leave the LC post on this forum that they want to find "another church"...the sooner the better.

I believe this is because we were conditioned to depend more on Lee and his church than on the Lord Jesus himself. We were conditioned to follow a man to the extent that we believe we need "church", so when we left Lee, we began to look for a replacement.

In Philippians 3:10 Paul prayed: That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death; Perhaps we should pray this prayer more often...to know Him. It sounds like you have prayed this prayer a few times.

After I left the LC, years ago, by his mercy, I chose a path of "detox". I didn't look for another "church". I chose to care for my needy parents. I talked to the Lord. My prayer at that time was "Lord, don't let go of me." He didn't. I still talk to him, every day like I learned during that time years ago.

All these years later, I still don't "go to church". I have tried to "go to church" but was never able to sustain contact with what he showed me was clearly an organization by man and not him.

One memorable experience was amazing fellowship one Sunday morning on the phone while I was in the parking lot before a baseball game. Another time, I was on a baseball trip to St. Louis, and met a former pastor who was a self-described "burn out". We sat on a park bench for over 2 hours sharing our experiences with each other...fellowship. He asked me "where do you go to church?'" and was taken aback when I replied "I don't."

There might be some suffering, but even so, there is fellowship in his sufferings. As the Psalmist said in Psalm 139:8 If I ascend up into heaven, you are there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, you are there.

He led me to fellowship with others, but not until I learned and experienced fellowship first with him. He led me to a dependence on himself, not "church". I didn't read my bible for 5-6 years. I was afraid that if I read the Bible, he would make me go back there. I didn't trust him. When I finally did pick up my bible again, (someone advised me to "read it like it was a book") it was amazing. It was almost like I had never read it before. It was alive. It was amazing.

After I began to hear his voice, know him, follow his leading, obey him, and here's the big one....trust him...my walk with him changed. I was actually walking with him and not "church" dependent.

I hope this helps, RCTW, to take another different look at "life after" the Local Church of Witness Lee.

Nell