SPLIT THREAD - Control and Addiction in the Local Church

[TLFisher]

Originally Posted by YP0534

Control is an exercise of the power of authority (legitimate or not.) In fact, the hellfire and damnation preachers are attempting to control their listeners. It frequently doesn't work because it requires a willing acceptance of the authority of the Bible.

Lee did not coerce me to stay out of shopping malls and movie theaters, even though he clearly suggested I should not go. Elders, on the basis of such teachings, did attempt to exert this kind of influence, but I generally didn't listen to their interpretations of Lee's teachings as rules to follow. To the extent that Lee himself suggested I follow this or that rule, I discounted that as well as his religion, culture and desire to be a teacher of the law.

But I don't feel Lee ever really tried to control me. I am 100% certain my local elders attempted to do so. I met the man once. I read and considered his books and spoken ministry. But most of the bad LC culture that I picked up was transmitted by the traditions of local eldership, not Lee's printed or spoken ministry. (NOTE: This was prior to 1989.)

Regardless, though, the thing I don't think is appreciated is that once you willingly buy into the premises of the system, coercion, and therefore control, becomes possible. If I assent that the elders in my locality are rightly bearing the deputy authority and they give me rules to follow, do I really willingly obey the rules or am I coerced into doing so on the basis of my assent to their authority? When every indication you can perceive is that you cannot walk away and also remain faithful to the Lord, that's where the ability to control arises.

Until they are freed from the bondage of the myth of deputy authority, they may be controlled.

While we were in the local churches, if we yielded control over us, how much is our fault?
I think many bought into submission and authority hook, line, and sinker. The notion of creating boundaries was foreign to say the least. Whether a teen, young adult, etc, it's not rebellious to say to someone you are overstepping your bounds. Of course in the local churches, you are labeled as rebellious when resisting to be controlled.
Elders only have as much control as we want them to be. They are mere men with no lawful control over us. Sure they could say we're not welcome to meet with them. Okay whatever! Deputy Authority is but a myth. If it was anything but, wouldn't the prophets have yielded to the kings? We would not have read about Nathan's words to King David or Samuel's words to King Saul.
Anyone reading this, my advice is to create boundaries in your relationships with people. Especially in the local churches, don't give ground for serving ones, elders, co-workers etc to trespass.

[Nell]

Originally Posted by Terry

While we were in the local churches, if we yielded control over us, how much is our fault?

Hi Terry,

I don't think there is a blanket answer to your question. Only God knows the hearts of men...each of us as individuals. IMHO, if believers are asking this question, it's probably light from the Lord bringing us to repentance. Otherwise, would it occur to us to ask the question?

Regardless, it would be wise, I think, to assume that our choice to surrender our control over anything to anyone other than God was ALL our own fault. Then, we repent to God and pray for light. If not, He will reveal that to us also.

...Anyone reading this, my advice is to create boundaries in your relationships with people. Especially in the local churches, don't give ground for serving ones, elders, co-workers etc to trespass.

Agreed.

Nell

What if Eve had said "I was deceived...it wasn't my fault. " I note that the man, Adam, kinda' did say "It wasn't my fault..." when he told God "the woman YOU gave me" .... blaming God.

[TLFisher]

Originally Posted by Nell

Regardless, it would be wise, I think, to assume that our choice to surrender our control over anything to anyone other than God was ALL our own fault. Then, we repent to God and pray for light. If not, He will reveal that to us also.

Agreed.

Nell

Hi Nell, for adults yes I agree. When it comes to pre-teens, teens, and maybe even college age who were raised in the local churches, what would we say?
To surrender control is to be an obedient child, but to take control would cause one's child to be labeled as rebellious.
I lumped college age in there because even at 18, 19, 20 years old they're still finding their way as a young adult. In their immaturity this age group can be quite childlike and easy prey for peer pressure.
I believe there is an expectation in the local churches that parents would yield their parental responsibility over to serving ones, deacons, elders, etc.
These ones are at a loss of words when they come across a parent who won't yield to the serving ones, deacons, elders regarding the parent's child.
The short time I was meeting with the Church in Renton 2009-2010, there was no way and no how was I going to allow my pre-teen children attend SSOT. It was a matter of trust and control. As a parent, I was not going to yield my parental responsibility. Those who have been through SSOT and Youth Conferences, you know what I am talking about.

[Nell]

Originally Posted by Terry

Hi Nell, for adults yes I agree. When it comes to pre-teens, teens, and maybe even college age who were raised in the local churches, what would we say?
To surrender control is to be an obedient child, but to take control would cause one's child to be labeled as rebellious.
I lumped college age in there because even at 18, 19, 20 years old they're still finding their way as a young adult. In their immaturity this age group can be quite childlike and easy prey for peer pressure.
I believe there is an expectation in the local churches that parents would yield their parental responsibility over to serving ones, deacons, elders, etc.
These ones are at a loss of words when they come across a parent who won't yield to the serving ones, deacons, elders regarding the parent's child.
The short time I was meeting with the Church in Renton 2009-2010, there was no way and no how was I going to allow my pre-teen children attend SSOT. It was a matter of trust and control. As a parent, I was not going to yield my parental responsibility. Those who have been through SSOT and Youth Conferences, you know what I am talking about.

Point taken.

Nell