In A Process Of Leaving The Local Church

[Recovering]

Originally Posted by Nell

Zezima,

I interact just fine, and so do they. I didn't leave with "guns blazin'" so I'm not a pariah. They are polite to me and respectful. People I knew for years come up to me and greet me as though I was just someone they haven't seen in a very long time.

Honestly, no one asks "where have you been?" or "what have you been doing?" I think they may already know and don't want to hear the answers, or start a dialogue about it.

Nell

I think this is a really important point. My wife and I tried hard to leave in a good way that was respectful of current members and left the door open for fellowship. A small handful of people have stayed in touch, and in a few cases we have been able to have some meaningful discussions about the local church life and life "outside". I'm hopeful that one day I can be a welcoming face and friendly guide when they have their own moment of realization about their need to leave.

Leaving with, as Nell so nicely put it, with "guns ablazin" might feel good in the short term but just cuts off relationships and feeds a narrative that you only leave if you have "gone off the deep end." I've known some who left after a cathartic speaking of their mind trying to convince others to leave too and later regretted it. I think the best thing one can do after leaving is to start to thrive in a new church life. There are several discussion threads on finding a new place that could be helpful.