Curious!

[aron]

Originally Posted by Curious

Back to my testimony:

After associating with an LC group for an extended time, I realised that there was a strategy behind their influence on me. I noticed them drip-feed their doctrines, some I rejected as I heard them but didn’t say anything. However, I enjoyed the group sharing of thoughts on a scripture. Only at the end of my time with them, was it demonstrated to me by example, that to do so ‘properly’ was to read out the footnotes not express one’s own thoughts. So there were the things I liked, which influenced me towards them, but the doctrinal things never gained a hook.

It was a shock to me when I realised how much they had gotten inside my head. I had begun to behave in CONTRADICTION to my beliefs. I’m going to quote from my personal journal what I wrote at the time:

A person who is not a racist begins to hang out with racist people, long enough to start developing racist attitudes and behaviour, but not racist philosophy. One day they face in themselves what they could see happening. Shocked and puzzled at how this could even happen, they evaluate the influence they have been exposed to. The power that had driven this was that of familiarity…an identification socially with the group which brings a growing feeling of ‘normal’ with the values held within. This influence avoided, (even denied when confronted), any direct expression. It was subversive, not honest and clear. (avoiding the gate and slipping in over the fence around the back of the sheep pen!!) Slippery, sly, dishonest…..descriptive words can be multiplied here.

It in no way declared itself as ‘racist’ but fully intended to impart the same ‘racism’ (prejudice). Removing the analogy of racism now… Even though I never officially joined the LC group I met with, I began to grow uncomfortable with other worship styles, questioning regular worship services, no longer relaxed and open and engaging. I felt guilty going to other Christian events, like I was letting them down or being double-minded, in spite of being very open with them about my other Christian activities.

When I realised this I knew I had to cut contact completely. I felt angry for a time as I felt quite deceived and lied to, about matters of critical importance to me. I worked at separating in my mind, the people I knew, from the ministry itself. I still needed time to deprogram my thinking too, feeling beholden to LC thinking, took a while to shake it off completely.

So that’s part of my story. I was going to title my introductory thread…’curious, but not convinced’ hence my username choice so my comments could always be clear that I have been an outsider looking in, a somewhat independent assessment.

I think this is one of the more valuable essays on the whole forum. Usually those who realise that the LC message departs from the Christian gospel and reject it, remain 'outsiders' and go off. They don't tell what was wrong, but simply leave. They sense that something isn't right and run away - "My sheep know my voice".

Those who do write about the experience often do so after a long process of indoctrination, years of 24/7 immersion, the subsequent trauma of leaving/separation, and the long unpacking afterward. So the freshness of the moment of getting sucked in is often lost, with its nuances and dynamics. It's often done with subtlety else it wouldn't catch so many unawares. As Curious says, It's a shock to see how deeply (and quickly) they get into your head.

This post reveals something of that process in real time, with the attraction and enjoyment on the one hand, and the concomitant hardening toward fellow members of the Christian faith on the other. The process is insidious and one usually doesn't appreciate it sufficiently, and objectively analyse it, and in a whirl of emotions gets 'caught' in the 'LC sheep pen'. In the LC it's all about 'enjoyment' until one day the 'enjoyment' is gone, and the minister blames you because you weren't rabid enough for the cause.

This poster was able to step back and see the LC gambit for what it is: it's not a ministry of reconciliation (2 Cor 5) but a ministry of estrangement (judgment, hostility, antagonism). That hardening towards 'others' allows LC members to be manipulated and controlled by the handlers: "If you don't do what we say, the Boogeyman will get you." One often fails to appreciate this sufficiently at the outset, but only when it's too late, when they're already 'in', at the endgame. They're now in The Church and can't go back to Mystery Babylon. The walls are up and the doors are locked.

Typically the 'outsiders' walk away silently, and the 'insiders' suffer silently. This post is an example of the kind of opening to dialogue that can release many.