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Cal · 12-28-2016, 07:42 AM

I agree with Drake. Before marriage is the time to be honest. Tell her your feelings about the whole situation. You don't have to use the word "cult," but you should tell her the LCM is not for you.

When you are driving and you enter an area where the streets get narrower and more potential hazards appear what do you do? You ease on the brakes. You slow down. You take things more carefully. That's what you should do now.

I don't want to make light of "young love," but I think age 21 is pretty young to know whether another person is right for you for the rest of your life. Feelings and desires (and perceived physical needs) are very strong at your age. But you haven't finished growing yet. You are not quite the final person you will be. Neither is she.

What you are experiencing has happened many times. An LCM young person meets someone they like outside the LCM and seeks to get them to join. Make no mistake, if she is typical she is counting on you joining her group. She is much less open to following you to another more mainstream group.

I have been at the marrying age in the LCM myself, and you have to understand how desperate these kids are to find a partner, and how their options are limited. They don't intend to hurt anyone, they are just trying to find relational happiness in a system that is not built for such a thing.

You don't need to rush. You have your whole life ahead of you. But you must understand this -- if you are not 100% for this group you should not consider marrying this girl until she leaves the group. You have to be on the same page with your life plans or your marriage will not work. It's hard enough to get along with someone else when your plans are congruous. Basic disagreement on life direction will just lead to unhappiness and probably divorce.

Pray and trust. Try to be at peace. Things will work out as they should if you do this.

12-28-2016, 07:42 AM	#9
Cal Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: USA Posts: 4,333	Re: My situation with the LC I agree with Drake. Before marriage is the time to be honest. Tell her your feelings about the whole situation. You don't have to use the word "cult," but you should tell her the LCM is not for you. When you are driving and you enter an area where the streets get narrower and more potential hazards appear what do you do? You ease on the brakes. You slow down. You take things more carefully. That's what you should do now. I don't want to make light of "young love," but I think age 21 is pretty young to know whether another person is right for you for the rest of your life. Feelings and desires (and perceived physical needs) are very strong at your age. But you haven't finished growing yet. You are not quite the final person you will be. Neither is she. What you are experiencing has happened many times. An LCM young person meets someone they like outside the LCM and seeks to get them to join. Make no mistake, if she is typical she is counting on you joining her group. She is much less open to following you to another more mainstream group. I have been at the marrying age in the LCM myself, and you have to understand how desperate these kids are to find a partner, and how their options are limited. They don't intend to hurt anyone, they are just trying to find relational happiness in a system that is not built for such a thing. You don't need to rush. You have your whole life ahead of you. But you must understand this -- if you are not 100% for this group you should not consider marrying this girl until she leaves the group. You have to be on the same page with your life plans or your marriage will not work. It's hard enough to get along with someone else when your plans are congruous. Basic disagreement on life direction will just lead to unhappiness and probably divorce. Pray and trust. Try to be at peace. Things will work out as they should if you do this.