Thank you, everyone, for your input. Every comment is appreciated.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave
Normally I would suggest that you not just walk away but that you should run as fast as you can away from the LC. In your case, you seem insightful and intuitive so I believe you will make the right decision for yourself and with your fiancé. Your testimony is remarkable. Find some Christians you can relate to and meet with them is my suggestion. You may be drawn back to the LC but hopefully you will understand that there is no realistic future with them.
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Thank you for the encouragement and advice, Dave. Yes, my fiance and I intend to meet with various other Christians soon. (Well, maybe not in the next few weeks, given that everyone is busy with holiday affairs).
Like in my first round of research two years ago, we intend to discuss things with my parents, 2 pastors from my church, and some of the elders from the LC. I admit that if it weren't for my attachment to my fiance, I would follow your first suggestion and run as fast as I could away from the LC. He's the reason why I'm even pausing long enough to research these things, because it's very important to the both of us that we attend the same church when we're married.
One of the things that gives me great hope is knowing that although my fiance would be delighted if I chose to stay at the LC, he IS willing to prayerfully choose a different church if necessary. He doesn't have an ounce of condescension toward other churches, and he's proven it through action, not just words. He really appreciates that I've done so much to give the LC a chance - I've taken the time to develop relationships with the saints here and familiarized myself with their teachings and practices to the best of my ability. At this point, he knows that if something isn't sitting right with me, it's not because it's unfamiliar, but it's because my spirit is in distress and the Lord's trying to tell me something. My fiance is so graciously taking all of my concerns very seriously and for that I am so thankful. He even recently said to me that he can tell one of two things will happen:
1) After our research, my concerns will be put to rest, and I'll be comfortable enough to join the LC after we get married.
2) After our research, he will fully grasp the things that have bothered me all along and he will leave the LC
with me on his own accord.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bearbear
Hi loveneverfails,
I was in a similar boat you were. I knew of some serious problems with the LCs and was getting disillusioned but on the other hand I was so in love with my fiancee (now wife) at the time that I was probably willing to stay and stick it out for life. My wife was very gung-ho for the LCs and was your typical member who was very much "for the ministry". After we were married she made me attend every practically every single training and conference.
It actually backfired because the level of ridiculous teaching I was being exposed to was magnified greatly and it increased my desire to leave. However doing so would still have been catastrophic as I'd probably have to cut off relationship with all our friends and my wife would never be on board with it.
One day as I was praying I heard in my head "If you don't leave, then you won't be an overcomer". I then responded to God "Lord, if you want me to leave, my wife has to be on board also".
Afterwards the Lord did open the way for my wife to start questioning the LC and it opened the door for me to show her the clear contradictions in LC teachings with the bible and to give her John Ingall's and John So's testimony for reading. When I think about it now, I think the Lord had a plan from the beginning to use me to bring my wife out of the LCs and we are much healthier for it now despite losing contact with many friends.
When we left the LCs, my wife used the excuse "I have to submit to my husband" when the sisters pressured her to stay. No one could find a proper rebuttal for that since it was one of the major points from the Sister's Conference she had to attend. The irony was delicious!
Perhaps the Lord wants you to do the same with your fiance or maybe not. I guess the major lesson for me was to keep my ears open to what God wanted me to do because God has the master plan for our lives.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
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It seems like you truly can relate to my experience. Thank you for sharing! The first quote of yours that I emboldened really stood out to me. That is my heart's desire, too. I touched on that at the end of my response to Dave. I don't want to yank my fiance out of the LC. If he leaves, I'd want it to be on his own accord, in response to what the Lord tells him, not in response to what I say.
Thankfully, he's not all gung-ho "for the ministry". He just loves Christ and loves people, and he's been really blessed by the positive aspects of the LC (which have been acknowledged by many on this site). It's clear to me that his first priority is listening to God's will, not following Witness Lee. If it weren't, I think he would be putting a lot more pressure on me to accept the teachings of LSM.
Who knows? Maybe this was all part of God's plan. After all, I can already think of a couple benefits to this situation:
- By being raised in the LC, my fiance has developed some excellent habits, such as waking up early to spend quiet time with the Lord. I don't know many men my age who do this faithfully.
- By us coming together as a couple, each of us has had our beliefs/traditions/practices challenged greatly, and we've asked ourselves "why do I believe what I believe?" My dad always taught me to have a "Berean mindset", but I don't think I ever grasped the importance of that so clearly until now! My passion for comparing all teachings to Scripture has increased exponentially, and I do it with a spirit of joy. As for my fiance, he has admitted multiple times that he's never put so much thought into his beliefs until now.
I feel so much more encouraged already. Thank you all.