In need of advice

Hello Everyone,
I am so grateful to have stumbled across this forum. I feel like the Lord has been working in my life recently and I hope that the time for my family to leave the LC is coming soon.

I will try to be brief, but allow me to introduce myself and explain my circumstances. I have been attending the LC for a little over 12 years.My husband first brought me to a meeting before we were married. I was a young, care-free college student and loved the church life for the first couple years. We married and had our first child. At that point, motherhood opened my heart to deeper level of understanding and I began to be unhappy about many things in the LC.

At first I was afraid to express my concerns to my husband, but as the years passed I did eventually attempt to speak to him. I was always met with anger. Let me explain that my husband was born and raised in the LC. There is no question that these are his core beliefs. However, my husband is still to this day a so called backslider. He does not prophesy and does not care if we have perfect attendance to the meetings. This fact always gave me hope that one day, he might be open to leaving. More recently, he has been open to discussion, yet remains very defensive.

We have four children and my heart fears for them. I do not want them to continue to be raised in the LC. What I am hoping to find here at this forum are tools to help me speak to my husband.

Thank you all!

[UntoHim]

Unregistered Guest,

Thank you and bless you for having the courage to come post on our forum. One of the main reasons this forum exists is for brothers and sisters in like yourself to have a place to process, and to have fellowship with those who have gone through similar situations.

And speaking of sisters....this forum is in great need of sisters! Our discussions are in need of a women's experience and point of view! There are a number of sisters who frequent the forum, and I believe that some of them have found themselves in your position. There are also a number of brothers who have also gone through, or are currently in, similar situations.

When you get a chance, please shoot an email to LocalChurchDiscussions@Gmail.Com requesting membership, including your desired UserName, and I will reply with a welcome email with a temporary password. As you may have noticed, most members post under an anonymous "handle" (UserName). Anonymity and confidentiality are very important aspects of our little forum.

Your brother who is unto Him

[aron]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

What I am hoping to find here at this forum are tools to help me speak to my husband.

Thank you all!

The first tool I would offer is that God seeks engagement, and the enemy seeks estrangement. God wants to dialogue with your husband, but God's adversary wants to create a kind of antagonism, or a fight. So try to remember that if you want your husband to respect, acknowledge, and appreciate what you see, then you need to "go the extra mile" to meet him where he is. It is the proverbial "do unto others as you want them to do to you" scenario.

Jesus went out and found the sinners where they were. He didn't require them to go to Jerusalem or the holy mountain. You might be surprised how quickly the Lord can stir in your husband's heart if you meet him where he is.

What I am trying to say is that even if you totally disagree with your husband, try to communicate your present truth to him in a way that doesn't threaten him. The most precious truth your children can learn from you is that you love their father and are committed to going on together with him. Within that commitment you'll find the freedom to speak your mind. God has all power, and desires the light to shine. It will. So don't be threatened by your husband's reflexive beliefs, nor the group he's controlled by. God is greater than all.

And yours is a ministry of reconciliation, not estrangement.

[Ohio]

Originally Posted by aron

The first tool I would offer is that God seeks engagement, and the enemy seeks estrangement. God wants to dialogue with your husband, but God's adversary wants to create a kind of antagonism, or a fight. So try to remember that if you want your husband to respect, acknowledge, and appreciate what you see, then you need to "go the extra mile" to meet him where he is. It is the proverbial "do unto others as you want them to do to you" scenario.

Jesus went out and found the sinners where they were. He didn't require them to go to Jerusalem or the holy mountain. You might be surprised how quickly the Lord can stir in your husband's heart if you meet him where he is.

What I am trying to say is that even if you totally disagree with your husband, try to communicate your present truth to him in a way that doesn't threaten him. The most precious truth your children can learn from you is that you love their father and are committed to going on together with him. Within that commitment you'll find the freedom to speak your mind. God has all power, and desires the light to shine. It will. So don't be threatened by your husband's reflexive beliefs, nor the group he's controlled by. God is greater than all.

And yours is a ministry of reconciliation, not estrangement.

Great insight, aron.

I Remember when I first got saved, my mom was so receptive because she saw a great change in my life, my attitude, etc. Then I joined the LC, and immediately went to the Revelations Training. Lee and company pumped me up with so much anti-Catholic ammunition that it spoiled my gospel of Jesus Christ the Savior. I threatened to smash idols and burn pictures.

The moral of the story is that we have Jesus and are now a people of hope. Our message is not that all others are wrong and the LC's alone are right, but that Jesus alone is our Lord, our center, our Savior.

Thank you Aron,

That is wonderful advice. I had come to a similar realization myself. I am working on communicating with my husband in a loving and respectful way. This is an area we struggle with in our marriage and I believe we have already come a long way.
I would like to mention that some recent circumstances in his family have arose that have deeply upset him. I feel like this may be an opportunity for me to minister to him. I can't help but feel a sense of urgency not to miss my window of opportunity but I know I must be careful not to rush it.

The circumstances in his family could either cause him to doubt his faith or to cling more strongly to it.

[aron]

Originally Posted by Ohio

When I first got saved, my mom was receptive because she saw a great change in my life, my attitude, etc. Then I joined the LC, and immediately went to the Revelations Training. Lee and company pumped me up with so much anti-Catholic ammunition that it spoiled my gospel of Jesus Christ the Savior. I threatened to smash idols and burn pictures.

The moral of the story is that we have Jesus and are now a people of hope. Our message is not that all others are wrong and the LC's alone are right, but that Jesus alone is our Lord, our center, our Savior.

When I said, "We have a ministry of reconciliation" that wasn't generic advice, but I think a real "tool" to dialog with people entrenched in LC-like belief systems. At its core, the LC doctrine pushes estrangement and judgment. Even "recovery" presupposes degradation and darkness, which is (naturally) everyone else. Everyone else is divided, we are one, etc. We have high peak truths, everyone else is low, common, fallen etc. The very language is loaded with subjective and judgmental terms. And this divides people from one another.

I think one way to approach these strongholds is not to become alienated from the person who is espousing them. Meet them where they are. The Spirit of the Lord can break any barrier. Paul wrote extensively about this in his epistles. We get the opportunity to live it out.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I had come to a similar realization myself. I am working on communicating with my husband in a loving and respectful way. This is an area we struggle with in our marriage and I believe we have already come a long way.

Circumstances are temporary. The Spirit of the Lord is eternal. What an opportunity, to touch this in a real way, today! Your circumstances are God-arranged for you to find Him. As you do, you and those around you will be saved.

[New Beginnings]

This is the original poster now registered. I want to thank everyone for continuing to point me back to Christ. During my time stuck in the LC, I have struggled to grow in my relationship in The Lord. It is hard when you are alone. I have really closed my heart to the people at the LC for the sake of self preservation, although I believe they are good people simply misled.

Also, is there a way I can open the eyes of my husband to the contradictions in the LC in a nonjudgmental, loving way?

[Ohio]

Originally Posted by New Beginnings

Also, is there a way I can open the eyes of my husband to the contradictions in the LC in a nonjudgmental, loving way?

Personally, I needed many years of questions nagging at my heart. These were the discrepancies between what we were promised by the ministry and what actually was happening, in a word, all of the broken promises that had been accumulating for years. For example, watching scores of marriages crumble around me. How can I continue to blame all this on the devil? Where are all the promises of His rich blessings by our stand for "His testimony of oneness" in the LC's?

I know many of us in the Great Lakes Area (before we were quarantined, and about the time I left) found the instructions and practices for our families to be unhealthy. LSM talked about the "pipeline" which would usher our children into their FTTA and full-timer service. How has that turned out for those who went? How are they today? Did the FTTA really help their growth in Christ? Years ago the GLA leaders tried to obtain unbiased followup statistics, and LSM balked at that. Why?

New Beginnings, your children are younger, but your husband may still think LSM's programs are healthy for his kids. Every father wants his church to help his children's faith. How well are the older children in your LC doing? Has LC teachings prepared them for the world in high school and college? If the LC/LSM has not been good for the children in other families, how can you expect anything different for yours?

[OBW]

Originally Posted by Ohio

Then I joined the LC, and immediately went to the Revelations Training.

Wow! What a place to start off.

I know someone (actually to this day) that had a breakdown over the Revelation training. They eventually returned to the "fold" for a brief period, but left altogether a couple of years after that. Has since been a leader in lay ministry at a significant church in the area.