My experience as a church kid: Why I want out

Melo · 12-31-2018, 10:53 PM

This is my first time posting here, so I thought I’d give myself kind of an introduction. My ultimate goal in posting this isn’t to ruminate in my dislike of Lee or the Local Churches, I just want to see if there’s anyone with a similar upbringing who has advice on disassociating themselves from the church without disassociating from their family.

I’ve been meeting with the church in a major city since the first grade. My parents stumbled into it and never left, so I’m definitely a church kid in every sense of the word. I remember being baptized at 13, going to Jr. High and High School meetings every Saturday night, attending pretty much every YP conference and beyond. While it’s an advantage that I am pretty fluent in the Recovery’s overall culture and vernacular, I constantly find it difficult to relate to my other Christian friends and ‘mainstream’ Christianity.

It wasn’t until high school that I begin to have real doubts about the church. Part of my doubts came from my own struggles with mental illness that was written off by my parents as a symptom of ‘not reading the Word enough’. Ultimately, most of my doubts came from the ‘cherry-picking’ of biblical doctrine, Lee’s unfounded statements concerning mental illness, views towards women, and disapproval of critical thinking. I realize that some of these examples may not necessarily be unique to the Recovery, but like I said, I don’t have experience anywhere else so it’s hard for me to differentiate. While I agree to a point with the ideas of oneness and enjoying the Lord over simply memorizing doctrine, I found it troublesome that this kind of groupthink philosophy would be repeatedly hammered into the heads of young ones especially.

I’m a sophomore in college and I still see myself drifting further away from these ideologies. Since my university is in close proximity to another one of the local churches, I still see saints quite a bit and participate with some of their on-campus club stuff. However, if I’m being honest, I don’t see myself meeting in the future after college. I can’t bring myself to, especially with how much disdain I have for Lee (specifically his blatant nepotism, racism, and anti-Western philosophy).

The only problem is my immediate family is wholly involved with the church, and I don’t know how I would even tell my parents that kind of thing without sending them into cardiac arrest. My parents are also hinting about wanting me to go to the FTTA, and I honestly think I would go completely insane if I was subjected to that for an extended period of time. I only really go to the Sunday meetings when I’m with my parents, and even then, I find myself disgusted with the many of the underlying teachings. I want to clarify that I agree with many of the teachings in the Recovery, concerning things like the Divine Trinity, God’s Economy, etc. My major qualms are the teachings that seem to be base-less, hypocritical, or suppressing critical thinking, much like many have already pointed out.

I think my ultimate question is if anyone has had an experience of leaving the church and explaining to their family why they left? What has been people’s experience with their campus ministry (both good and bad)? Also is there any specific place on here for younger people to talk about their experiences with the church? Thank you in advance!

ALSO Happy New Year, hope everyone's having a lovely start to their 2019!

12-31-2018, 10:53 PM	#1
Melo Member Join Date: Dec 2018 Posts: 27	My experience as a church kid: Why I want out This is my first time posting here, so I thought I’d give myself kind of an introduction. My ultimate goal in posting this isn’t to ruminate in my dislike of Lee or the Local Churches, I just want to see if there’s anyone with a similar upbringing who has advice on disassociating themselves from the church without disassociating from their family. I’ve been meeting with the church in a major city since the first grade. My parents stumbled into it and never left, so I’m definitely a church kid in every sense of the word. I remember being baptized at 13, going to Jr. High and High School meetings every Saturday night, attending pretty much every YP conference and beyond. While it’s an advantage that I am pretty fluent in the Recovery’s overall culture and vernacular, I constantly find it difficult to relate to my other Christian friends and ‘mainstream’ Christianity. It wasn’t until high school that I begin to have real doubts about the church. Part of my doubts came from my own struggles with mental illness that was written off by my parents as a symptom of ‘not reading the Word enough’. Ultimately, most of my doubts came from the ‘cherry-picking’ of biblical doctrine, Lee’s unfounded statements concerning mental illness, views towards women, and disapproval of critical thinking. I realize that some of these examples may not necessarily be unique to the Recovery, but like I said, I don’t have experience anywhere else so it’s hard for me to differentiate. While I agree to a point with the ideas of oneness and enjoying the Lord over simply memorizing doctrine, I found it troublesome that this kind of groupthink philosophy would be repeatedly hammered into the heads of young ones especially. I’m a sophomore in college and I still see myself drifting further away from these ideologies. Since my university is in close proximity to another one of the local churches, I still see saints quite a bit and participate with some of their on-campus club stuff. However, if I’m being honest, I don’t see myself meeting in the future after college. I can’t bring myself to, especially with how much disdain I have for Lee (specifically his blatant nepotism, racism, and anti-Western philosophy). The only problem is my immediate family is wholly involved with the church, and I don’t know how I would even tell my parents that kind of thing without sending them into cardiac arrest. My parents are also hinting about wanting me to go to the FTTA, and I honestly think I would go completely insane if I was subjected to that for an extended period of time. I only really go to the Sunday meetings when I’m with my parents, and even then, I find myself disgusted with the many of the underlying teachings. I want to clarify that I agree with many of the teachings in the Recovery, concerning things like the Divine Trinity, God’s Economy, etc. My major qualms are the teachings that seem to be base-less, hypocritical, or suppressing critical thinking, much like many have already pointed out. I think my ultimate question is if anyone has had an experience of leaving the church and explaining to their family why they left? What has been people’s experience with their campus ministry (both good and bad)? Also is there any specific place on here for younger people to talk about their experiences with the church? Thank you in advance! ALSO Happy New Year, hope everyone's having a lovely start to their 2019!