Hi Everyone :)

[BlueOrchid]

Hi!

I guess I have been a "lurker" for 2 years now.
December 2015 was when I first visited your site.
Went through a depression but I knew what I was reading was true.
I have not been active in the church for a few years, but still know a few people and have gone to a couple of meetings in the last couple of years.

I remember certain instances starting from when I was around 15, where I started realizing something wasn't right. But I was so scared to even type something into google. We were taught that it was "damaging" to look up anything online. We were strictly advised against it.
We were fear mongered into staying into the church life "no matter what."
I didn't like the whole not hearing the other people's side. And the control and disdain for those who wanted to know. It was like a toddler clamping their hands over their ears and saying "lalalalala" (or the church life version "oh Lord Jesus") So annoying and sooooo FAKE!!! drove me nutso. haha.

I used to day dream about hearing stories from those who have left.
When I realized that many many people who were in the inner circle left, and most of our parents came in newbies that didn't have a clue, I knew something was seriously off!!!

I have read many many posts on here. Thank you for your labor of love, and speaking the truth in love, but not sugar coating your experiences to cover someone else's sins.

It feels amazing to be set free. I hope more and more people rise above the fear and share about their experiences. And also read and educate themselves about the truth and accounts of this elite organization on this amazing forum!!

I stumbled into learning about unhealthy churches from wickedshepard.com.
The more I read the more similarities kept popping up from my time with the local church.

For me, life in the local church was very lonely. I always felt uncomfortable with bringing any of my friends. I could feel how uncomfortable it was for them when I did bring them.
And then it was lonely when I left, cause the judgemental spirit I had made it impossible to take any other Christian seriously.

By the way I completely understand those who have identified as atheist or pagan. Makes sense to me. I would not try to force anyone to be different. That's the Holy Spirit's job and he's not rude

Spiritual abuse is a real thing. But the more truth and light is being shared, the more the chains of darkness are broken!!

It's amazing how many things were covered up but are now being brought to light. Just like the verse about wicked deeds coming to light the closer we are to Jesus' return.

I am still kind of scared of someone finding out who I am.
But I have gotten this far!!

Thank you for reading and I look forward to fellowshipping with you all.

~Blue Orchid