"Wrecked, Ruined?"

finallyprettyokay · 07-17-2008, 08:23 AM

A little bit more of my story ----

After we left the LC, my husband and I tried out several different churches, of different types/sizes/age groups/practices. He did okay with it, mostly, and I did not. Eventually, I just sort of lost hope and turned away from God.

Lots of years went by. Through a community volunteer project, I met a man who is the pastor of a church in our town. I really liked him, liked his humility. My husband started going to that church, but I still wouldn't go.

Well, I started having some time talking with him, telling him my story. One of the things I said to him was that Christianity (including the LC) had been like an abusive marriage to me, that I was O-U-T and not going back. And he said to me, if I had been in an abusive marriage, and got out of it, would I really never want to be married again? Wow, that got me. Well, yeah, I would, if the right guy came along.

So, this man that became a very good friend helped me come back to God, and back to His people. Now we go to that church (gasp, a denomination) and I love it. Like anything else, it is not perfect, but it is good. It's a denomination that actually encourages people to use the good brains God gave them. Imagine!

I think one of the worst things drilled into our souls in the LC was that we would never again 'fit' anywhere else. Not in what we considered 'Religion' and not in what we considered 'the World'. It is exactly like an abusive spouse telling the abused spouse 'You are lucky you have me. No one else would ever put up with you, you would never have anyone but me'.

Please, let me say that again. It is exactly like an abusive spouse telling the abused spouse 'You will never fit anywhere else'.

It is a control tactic, plain and simple. It was used against us. To keep us in line. It is a lie. We CAN 'fit' in, in other places. It CAN be a good 'marriage'.

Please, please, please understand I am not saying everyone should hurry up and find a 'church' or a group or anything else. I AM saying, DO NOT believe that lie. Please, just don't.

FPO

aron · 07-17-2008, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by finallyprettyokay

Now we go to that church (gasp, a denomination) and I love it. Like anything else, it is not perfect, but it is good. It's a denomination that actually encourages people to use the good brains God gave them. Imagine!

Hey! I have a brain too! Can I use mine, also?

(Actually, sometimes my brain doesn't seem so 'good', but the more I use it, the better it gets!)

Remember that song that went, "Get out of your mind, get your spirit in gear, that's the way to get to Jesus from here"? Well, actually, there was some truth to that, I think. It is possible for us to be trapped in our mind. Opening up our mouth and calling on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, or praying loudly to the Father, singing a song, declaring to one another the mighty works of God, are all good ways to break the cycle of a mind which is captive to old ways of thinking.

I am glad I learned to open my mouth. I was a 'silent christian' before somebody told me to 'exercise my spirit' and open my mouth. So I became a noisy christian. But God still wanted me to use my brain.

God gave us a brain and a spirit. Don't neglect either one.

Which leg do you use to walk, your right leg or your left? Answer: both.

Which organ do you use to get through the day, that you could never do without -- your liver, your stomach, or your lungs? Answer: all of them.

Yes, exercise your spiritual gift to call, to pray, to declare loudly and boldly as you see fit. Cry out and shout, oh inhabitant of Zion, for great is the Holy One of Israel in the midst of thee(see Isaiah 12:6, e.g.). Yes, yes, yes.

But also use your brain. Think. Lee was not the only one with a brain.

countmeworthy · 07-17-2008, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aron

Hey! I have a brain too! Can I use mine, also?

(Actually, sometimes my brain doesn't seem so 'good', but the more I use it, the better it gets!)

Remember that song that went, "Get out of your mind, get your spirit in gear, that's the way to get to Jesus from here"? Well, actually, there was some truth to that, I think. It is possible for us to be trapped in our mind. ....I am glad I learned to open my mouth. I was a 'silent christian' before somebody told me to 'exercise my spirit' and open my mouth. So I became a noisy christian. But God still wanted me to use my brain.

God gave us a brain and a spirit. Don't neglect either one.
.........use your brain. Think. Lee was not the only one with a brain.

Bravo-Bravo Aron!

Not only do I have a brain...but I have the MIND of Christ! So does each and everyone of us here! The Bible tells us we do & God does not lie.

And I also agree there is truth to 'get out of your mind'. The problem I think was, we were not taught to THINK like Christ, to Speak like He does, to WALK like He does.

For me, my early years in the LC was a training camp..a boot camp of sorts.
I did what I was told: Call on the Lord 24/7 alone and with the saints..Pray Read..Read messages..go to meetings..Testify..( I left before the prophesy stuff came in.)

That training was not BAD..but I didn't know what to do with all that training/knowledge. Eventually I ended up at Holy Spirit University where I'm currently working on my PHD.

Then one day & probably while still in the LC, I came across Colossians 4:4-6

That I may make it manifest, as I ought to speak.

Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time.

Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

WOW!! Wowsee-Wowsee!! I began to pray for Wisdom. Then I pondered on how the Lord Jesus during His ministry here on earth approached people differently. Sometimes He spoke to the masses, sometimes only to His disciples and sometimes only one on one.

Then there was Paul the apostle. Man...here is one Saintly dude who had the mind of Christ! My favorite passage in Acts is 17:22-23 when he is standing on Mars Hill, looking around at all the idols and statues.

He tells them they are too superstitious..and then finds an inscription on one of the statues which has a devotion to 'the Unknown God'. He perceives to tell them about this UNKNOWN GOD!

Then he ends up in the dungeon with Silas after being beaten to a pulp. They're chained & bound..bleeding in pain & suffering, stinking, having knats, flies stick to their bodies & who knows what other ungodly creatures were in torturing them.

So 'they' come up with this BRILLIANT Idea to start singing Praises to the Lord !

There comes the Angel of the Lord to set them captives free!

No wonder Paul was blessed and Highly Favored by the Most High God!! He kept right on truckin'!!! He used the brains God gave him. And the Holy Spirit in his spirit would nudge Paul to use it!!

That's my Brother PAUL for ya!

finallyprettyokay · 07-17-2008, 02:10 PM

I think I wasn't completely clear --- that statement about not 'fitting anywhere' has produced some really lonely people.

We all have seen them, and maybe even been them --- scared to be with Christians (wandering in the wilderness) or be with good, decent non-Christians (Eygpt) ... just scared.

God has not given us a spirit of fear. And we have Christ to share. That lie kept me crippled -- but not any more!!!

To quote CMW -- WOW!! Wowsee-Wowsee!!

To futher quote CMW ---

WOW!! Wowsee-Wowsee!!

Thankful Jane · 07-23-2008, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by finallyprettyokay

We all have seen them, and maybe even been them --- scared to be with Christians (wandering in the wilderness) or be with good, decent non-Christians (Eygpt) ... just scared.

Amen, FinallyPrettyOkay. That is exactly what happens. Even scared of what God might do to them ... (that's the worst).

On a memorable day in my backyard when the Lord paid me a visit and removed all those fears, He gave me this verse which I dearly love. :

Luke 1:74-76 That he would grant unto us, that we being delivered out of the hand of our enemies might serve him without fear, in holiness and righteousness before Him, all the days of our life.

How wonderful it is to serve Him, without fear!

Thankful Jane

FoundHim · 09-20-2008, 02:19 PM

Finally Pretty Ok,

I surely wish your post was My post. After leaving the LC about 13 years ago, I had to live with my husband an elder, who constantly reminded me of my poor wretched self. I do not mean in words, just the guilt one has after leaving such an all inclusive, life altering group. I did nothing and went nowhere for 10 years. I just could not up and go to a denomination could I - not while my elder husband was still "eldering". After about 6 years he quit going to the meetings. This was gradual, and was for my sake. He wanted us to be "one".

The Lord sovereignly arranged meeting a dear Christian friend who invited us to their church. Ugh. How hard it has been I cannot tell you. I still cannot go to the Snday morning meetings. But thankfully can go to our small Care Group where there is wonderful fellowship. There is also the meeting and eating in one another's homes. I am shaken to my feet at times because I cannot get free of the bondage of flashbacks etc. My husband is wiling to go to this new place - even feels God lead us there (? ? ? ? ?) - yet he adamatly will not take the Lord's table there - AND still insists he cannot be influenced by all the pain of the many saints who have told their tragic stories . He says "mistakes were made". He is "sorry" for the pain of the ones who were hurt, but has NO intention of seeking out fellowship from brothers he has known for years, who have left the LC.

Where does this leave me? In a turmoil I cannot explain. I often wonder if I am just not willing to suffer, to be involved in the LC. But also knowing I could not return. I feel like I know too many of the unrighteous, painful things that have happened, to ever return. I have been hurt so many times by my husband and his putting his head in the sand - that at times I have despaired of life itself. How does God show one partner what seems to be the truth, and to the spouse - it does not matter. He cannot bring himself to believe that so many very wrong things have happened. I do not know how much longer we can go on like this.

Please pray for us. I am in no way asking for pity. I am just desperate that the Lord would open his eyes.

Arizona · 09-20-2008, 02:35 PM

Lord, open the eyes of this brother! Lord, open the eyes of this sister! Lord Jesus, open our eyes that we may turn from darkness to Light! We love you Lord! Our Father God, have mercy on us all. We have believed in You, Lord. You are the merciful and faithful One. Grant this sister and her husband the grace they need Lord. We dwell in your name Lord, and we ask as those purchased by your precious blood. Thank you Lord.

finallyprettyokay · 09-21-2008, 09:01 AM

Dear FoundHim:

I read your post last night, and have thought a lot about it. First let me say, I am sad that the place you and your husband have been meeting isn't working better for you. From your past posts, I thought it was at least pretty good for you. Darn.

No words of wisdom here. I just wrote a post to Indiana saying maybe the LC would be the place he really wants to be. I don't know -- maybe you could do that, too. Seems really complicated, difficult --- it seems like with your husband's past eldership, and all the history, it would be pretty darn tricky. Still, anything is possible.

Quote:

that at times I have despaired of life itself.

Don't die. Please --- everything is fixable. Really, everything. As long as you are alive.

Tell me what you think of the post to Indiana.

I hope no one throws rocks at me.

God be with you, sister. You have a good heart.

fpo

blessD · 09-21-2008, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by finallyprettyokay

A little bit more of my story ----
Please, let me say that again. It is exactly like an abusive spouse telling the abused spouse 'You will never fit anywhere else'.

It is a control tactic, plain and simple. It was used against us. To keep us in line. It is a lie. We CAN 'fit' in, in other places. It CAN be a good 'marriage'.

Please, please, please understand I am not saying everyone should hurry up and find a 'church' or a group or anything else. I AM saying, DO NOT believe that lie. Please, just don't.
FPO

Many years ago, my parents were seriously thinking about and dealing with the terrible ways many of their children had been treated by different saints and elders. They were aware it was wrong. My mother said something like this, 'what are we supposed to do? Where would we ever fit in? I wouldn't fit in anywhere else.'

They went some time staying at home and depression took hold to some extent. Eventually, they returned to the meetings of the LC. They do not believe everything there, nor do they defend the wrong-doing. For them, it is better than no Christian fellowship. I don't see them leaving due to their age. I have thought that as long as it is not hurting them or anyone else, it may be the best place for them spiritually.

blessD · 09-21-2008, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FoundHim

Finally Pretty Ok,
Please pray for us. I am in no way asking for pity. I am just desperate that the Lord would open his eyes.

Keep the Faith. Don't give up. Keep knocking and He will open the door. Keep asking and He will answer.

We will all be praying for you and your husband.

Sometimes, when I was really down and feeling isolated, I would do this...
visually picture my Lord and Savior hanging on the cross, beaten, bleeding, dying. In his last breaths he asked his Father, 'why have you forsaken me?'

He understands your plight. Our Savior died for you, He shed His blood for you, and He will answer you.

Former LC member · 09-21-2008, 05:58 PM

Dear FoundHim,
Have courage. I know it seems bleak at the moment, but the Lord is our anchor during these times of trouble and He will not give us more than we can handle.
I have experienced some of the things you have and also have despared. I have had impulses to walk into the sea- to end it all. I feel everything deeply and am a very sensitive person. However, the Lord has got me through each crisis, and I am surprised when I wake in the morning and I feel fine. My husband and I celebrated our silver wedding anniversary a few years ago. I testified to my parents that it was only the Lord who kept us together and that I was grateful. My husband and I love each other, but do not see eye to eye on all things. In the past, I was the one who wanted to stay in the LC for the kids sake, and he was the one that saw the problems. When Titus was quarantined, I could not belong to this group any more. To me, the blessing for keeping the oneness had been lost. I have tried to share some things with my husband, but it causes arguments. I also feel alone. But like your husband, mine wants to be one with me too. We have to praise God for this inner sense that they have. I realise that both his and my knowledge is imperfect, but the Lords love is all we need. The Lord has joined us together, and as long as we love him, He will help us stay together and together get transformed. I can honestly say that we are improving in our relationship. And one day we will see the Lord and His plan as we both ought.
Hang in there sister, it is not over yet. The Lord has promised to finish the work that He has started.

aron · 09-25-2008, 07:39 PM

I got wrecked, ruined. Got wrecked for Christ. In the LC's the slogan was "Christ and the Church", but today I realize that I AM the church. I am the assembly, whenever I let God assemble me with another of the called-out ones.

I have never regretted believing in Jesus. One day you see His bright glory, you realize that here in front of you, is the path to the Father. This little man Jesus is it. Look no further, wandering lamb, you have found the Anointed One, the Holy One of God, the incarnated Word, the Prince of Peace, the Counselor, the Friend, the Trustworthy One, the Faithful and True Witness. Look no further. Your search is over. Jesus is the Way, the Light, the Truth.

One day John and Peter and James saw that bright glory and they knew "this is it". You don't graduate to a higher level than Jesus. The finish line is right here in front of you, shining with God's bright glory. John said in chapter one, "We beheld His glory", and Peter also wrote that they beheld His glory that day on the holy mountain, a voice coming down out of heaven and saying "This is the My Beloved". Whenever things got tough and lonely and scary they remembered that day, and many others like it. Never let go of the faith in Jesus.

I got wrecked. Got ruined. I am for Christ.

Lord, never let us go. We have Your promise, that if we followed You, You would shepherd and guide us all the way home to the Father. Lord, we remind You of Your Word. Lord, bless us all with Your dear shining. We love your glory, Your presence, Your 'parousia', your coming. Amen, come Lord Jesus.

I got wrecked, I got ruined, and I don't care. I like it. Nothing else matters. I'm for Jesus.

07-17-2008, 08:23 AM	#1
finallyprettyokay Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 129	"Wrecked, Ruined?" A little bit more of my story ---- After we left the LC, my husband and I tried out several different churches, of different types/sizes/age groups/practices. He did okay with it, mostly, and I did not. Eventually, I just sort of lost hope and turned away from God. Lots of years went by. Through a community volunteer project, I met a man who is the pastor of a church in our town. I really liked him, liked his humility. My husband started going to that church, but I still wouldn't go. Well, I started having some time talking with him, telling him my story. One of the things I said to him was that Christianity (including the LC) had been like an abusive marriage to me, that I was O-U-T and not going back. And he said to me, if I had been in an abusive marriage, and got out of it, would I really never want to be married again? Wow, that got me. Well, yeah, I would, if the right guy came along. So, this man that became a very good friend helped me come back to God, and back to His people. Now we go to that church (gasp, a denomination) and I love it. Like anything else, it is not perfect, but it is good. It's a denomination that actually encourages people to use the good brains God gave them. Imagine! I think one of the worst things drilled into our souls in the LC was that we would never again 'fit' anywhere else. Not in what we considered 'Religion' and not in what we considered 'the World'. It is exactly like an abusive spouse telling the abused spouse 'You are lucky you have me. No one else would ever put up with you, you would never have anyone but me'. Please, let me say that again. It is exactly like an abusive spouse telling the abused spouse 'You will never fit anywhere else'. It is a control tactic, plain and simple. It was used against us. To keep us in line. It is a lie. We CAN 'fit' in, in other places. It CAN be a good 'marriage'. Please, please, please understand I am not saying everyone should hurry up and find a 'church' or a group or anything else. I AM saying, DO NOT believe that lie. Please, just don't. FPO

09-20-2008, 02:19 PM	#6
FoundHim Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 9	Re: "Wrecked, Ruined?" Finally Pretty Ok, I surely wish your post was My post. After leaving the LC about 13 years ago, I had to live with my husband an elder, who constantly reminded me of my poor wretched self. I do not mean in words, just the guilt one has after leaving such an all inclusive, life altering group. I did nothing and went nowhere for 10 years. I just could not up and go to a denomination could I - not while my elder husband was still "eldering". After about 6 years he quit going to the meetings. This was gradual, and was for my sake. He wanted us to be "one". The Lord sovereignly arranged meeting a dear Christian friend who invited us to their church. Ugh. How hard it has been I cannot tell you. I still cannot go to the Snday morning meetings. But thankfully can go to our small Care Group where there is wonderful fellowship. There is also the meeting and eating in one another's homes. I am shaken to my feet at times because I cannot get free of the bondage of flashbacks etc. My husband is wiling to go to this new place - even feels God lead us there (? ? ? ? ?) - yet he adamatly will not take the Lord's table there - AND still insists he cannot be influenced by all the pain of the many saints who have told their tragic stories . He says "mistakes were made". He is "sorry" for the pain of the ones who were hurt, but has NO intention of seeking out fellowship from brothers he has known for years, who have left the LC. Where does this leave me? In a turmoil I cannot explain. I often wonder if I am just not willing to suffer, to be involved in the LC. But also knowing I could not return. I feel like I know too many of the unrighteous, painful things that have happened, to ever return. I have been hurt so many times by my husband and his putting his head in the sand - that at times I have despaired of life itself. How does God show one partner what seems to be the truth, and to the spouse - it does not matter. He cannot bring himself to believe that so many very wrong things have happened. I do not know how much longer we can go on like this. Please pray for us. I am in no way asking for pity. I am just desperate that the Lord would open his eyes.

09-20-2008, 02:35 PM	#7
Arizona Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 22	Re: "Wrecked, Ruined?" Lord, open the eyes of this brother! Lord, open the eyes of this sister! Lord Jesus, open our eyes that we may turn from darkness to Light! We love you Lord! Our Father God, have mercy on us all. We have believed in You, Lord. You are the merciful and faithful One. Grant this sister and her husband the grace they need Lord. We dwell in your name Lord, and we ask as those purchased by your precious blood. Thank you Lord.

09-21-2008, 05:58 PM	#11
Former LC member Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 40	Re: "Wrecked, Ruined?" Dear FoundHim, Have courage. I know it seems bleak at the moment, but the Lord is our anchor during these times of trouble and He will not give us more than we can handle. I have experienced some of the things you have and also have despared. I have had impulses to walk into the sea- to end it all. I feel everything deeply and am a very sensitive person. However, the Lord has got me through each crisis, and I am surprised when I wake in the morning and I feel fine. My husband and I celebrated our silver wedding anniversary a few years ago. I testified to my parents that it was only the Lord who kept us together and that I was grateful. My husband and I love each other, but do not see eye to eye on all things. In the past, I was the one who wanted to stay in the LC for the kids sake, and he was the one that saw the problems. When Titus was quarantined, I could not belong to this group any more. To me, the blessing for keeping the oneness had been lost. I have tried to share some things with my husband, but it causes arguments. I also feel alone. But like your husband, mine wants to be one with me too. We have to praise God for this inner sense that they have. I realise that both his and my knowledge is imperfect, but the Lords love is all we need. The Lord has joined us together, and as long as we love him, He will help us stay together and together get transformed. I can honestly say that we are improving in our relationship. And one day we will see the Lord and His plan as we both ought. Hang in there sister, it is not over yet. The Lord has promised to finish the work that He has started.

09-25-2008, 07:39 PM	#12
aron Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Natal Transvaal Posts: 5,631	Re: "Wrecked, Ruined?" I got wrecked, ruined. Got wrecked for Christ. In the LC's the slogan was "Christ and the Church", but today I realize that I AM the church. I am the assembly, whenever I let God assemble me with another of the called-out ones. I have never regretted believing in Jesus. One day you see His bright glory, you realize that here in front of you, is the path to the Father. This little man Jesus is it. Look no further, wandering lamb, you have found the Anointed One, the Holy One of God, the incarnated Word, the Prince of Peace, the Counselor, the Friend, the Trustworthy One, the Faithful and True Witness. Look no further. Your search is over. Jesus is the Way, the Light, the Truth. One day John and Peter and James saw that bright glory and they knew "this is it". You don't graduate to a higher level than Jesus. The finish line is right here in front of you, shining with God's bright glory. John said in chapter one, "We beheld His glory", and Peter also wrote that they beheld His glory that day on the holy mountain, a voice coming down out of heaven and saying "This is the My Beloved". Whenever things got tough and lonely and scary they remembered that day, and many others like it. Never let go of the faith in Jesus. I got wrecked. Got ruined. I am for Christ. Lord, never let us go. We have Your promise, that if we followed You, You would shepherd and guide us all the way home to the Father. Lord, we remind You of Your Word. Lord, bless us all with Your dear shining. We love your glory, Your presence, Your 'parousia', your coming. Amen, come Lord Jesus. I got wrecked, I got ruined, and I don't care. I like it. Nothing else matters. I'm for Jesus.

07-17-2008, 02:10 PM	#4
finallyprettyokay Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 129	I think I wasn't completely clear --- that statement about not 'fitting anywhere' has produced some really lonely people. We all have seen them, and maybe even been them --- scared to be with Christians (wandering in the wilderness) or be with good, decent non-Christians (Eygpt) ... just scared. God has not given us a spirit of fear. And we have Christ to share. That lie kept me crippled -- but not any more!!! To quote CMW -- WOW!! Wowsee-Wowsee!! To futher quote CMW --- WOW!! Wowsee-Wowsee!!