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Introductions and Testimonies Please tell everybody something about yourself. Tell us a little. Tell us a lot. Its up to you!

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Old 12-21-2017, 05:17 PM   #1
BlueOrchid
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Default Hi Everyone :)

Hi!

I guess I have been a "lurker" for 2 years now.
December 2015 was when I first visited your site.
Went through a depression but I knew what I was reading was true.
I have not been active in the church for a few years, but still know a few people and have gone to a couple of meetings in the last couple of years.

I remember certain instances starting from when I was around 15, where I started realizing something wasn't right. But I was so scared to even type something into google. We were taught that it was "damaging" to look up anything online. We were strictly advised against it.
We were fear mongered into staying into the church life "no matter what."
I didn't like the whole not hearing the other people's side. And the control and disdain for those who wanted to know. It was like a toddler clamping their hands over their ears and saying "lalalalala" (or the church life version "oh Lord Jesus") So annoying and sooooo FAKE!!! drove me nutso. haha.

I used to day dream about hearing stories from those who have left.
When I realized that many many people who were in the inner circle left, and most of our parents came in newbies that didn't have a clue, I knew something was seriously off!!!

I have read many many posts on here. Thank you for your labor of love, and speaking the truth in love, but not sugar coating your experiences to cover someone else's sins.

It feels amazing to be set free. I hope more and more people rise above the fear and share about their experiences. And also read and educate themselves about the truth and accounts of this elite organization on this amazing forum!!

I stumbled into learning about unhealthy churches from wickedshepard.com.
The more I read the more similarities kept popping up from my time with the local church.

For me, life in the local church was very lonely. I always felt uncomfortable with bringing any of my friends. I could feel how uncomfortable it was for them when I did bring them.
And then it was lonely when I left, cause the judgemental spirit I had made it impossible to take any other Christian seriously.

By the way I completely understand those who have identified as atheist or pagan. Makes sense to me. I would not try to force anyone to be different. That's the Holy Spirit's job and he's not rude

Spiritual abuse is a real thing. But the more truth and light is being shared, the more the chains of darkness are broken!!

It's amazing how many things were covered up but are now being brought to light. Just like the verse about wicked deeds coming to light the closer we are to Jesus' return.

I am still kind of scared of someone finding out who I am.
But I have gotten this far!!

Thank you for reading and I look forward to fellowshipping with you all.

~Blue Orchid
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Old 12-21-2017, 05:42 PM   #2
LifeGoesOn
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Default Re: Hi Everyone :)

Praise God! You have been set free! I am so happy for you. Just know that our amazing Lord has a plan for you and a specific calling on your life.

Right now I declare the peace of Christ Jesus over you. The peace that surpasses all understanding. I bind the religious spirit that has caused so much harm to so many of us, from continuing to do the same to you. I pray for the true and wonderful renewal of your mind in Jesus’ mighty name!
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“So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, "If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine;
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Old 12-21-2017, 06:27 PM   #3
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Default Re: Hi Everyone :)

Hi! Welcome and thanks for posting! I'm pretty new to this too and had only read the site for a few months before joining....I'm coming out of the shock of it as well!

It's good to see a "church kid" post bc there are a lot of us that feel the same way and had a lot of similar experiences. I felt soooo much comfort in realizing I was definitely not alone in my issues with it!

We all have our own stories but I'm relating to everything you said, the people in the LC can't deny that the YP got hurt!! I'm happy to see people recognize it and try to heal though!! Thanks for posting and look forward to hearing more about your story/journey moving forward!

I'm in a place of wanting to de-program/heal too. It's going to take a while but good being reminded we're not alone
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Old 12-21-2017, 08:19 PM   #4
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Default Re: Hi Everyone :)

It has often been mentioned how much FEAR is involved when considering leaving the LC or even reading this discussion forum.

Another suggestion I have for overcoming this very real inner fear is to read the Gospel of John and Acts over and over. Some of those who met the Lord Jesus were also filled with fear, for example Nicodemus, a noted teacher and member of the Sanhedrin, yet would only approach Jesus alone under the cover of darkness. Another example was the man born blind and given sight. They faced enormous pressures from the legalistic and oppressive Jewish society they lived in. They were scared for their lives, yet after being with Jesus, you could not tell they were afraid. Read how compassionate and accomodating Jesus was. Spending time with Jesus gave them courage from above.
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Old 12-21-2017, 08:30 PM   #5
LifeGoesOn
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Default Re: Hi Everyone :)




Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohio View Post
It has often been mentioned how much FEAR is involved when considering leaving the LC or even reading this discussion forum.

Another suggestion I have for overcoming this very real inner fear is to read the Gospel of John and Acts over and over. Some of those who met the Lord Jesus were also filled with fear, for example Nicodemus, a noted teacher and member of the Sanhedrin, yet would only approach Jesus alone under the cover of darkness. Another example was the man born blind and given sight. They faced enormous pressures from the legalistic and oppressive Jewish society they lived in. They were scared for their lives, yet after being with Jesus, you could not tell they were afraid. Read how compassionate and accomodating Jesus was. Spending time with Jesus gave them courage from above.
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“So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, "If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine;
and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free."”
John‬ 8:31-32‬
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Old 12-21-2017, 09:51 PM   #6
BlueOrchid
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Default Re: Hi Everyone :)

Thank you, everyone!!
Thank you, LifeGoesOn, for your prayer. I felt it as i read it. So amazing. Felt chills and got tears in my eyes. Such a simple prayer but so powerful. A call on my life... still asking God what that is. I would love to know! Right now I am just so blessed to be getting more free. Yes, any time fear is involved it's time to take a step back and draw near to Jesus and grow stronger in love. Perfect love casts out fear! Fear has nothing to do with Jesus. I take comfort in that. Also in how you said in Jesus name!! Yes!! I remember wondering who the local church's "lord" is... Don't get me wrong I know there are a lot of sincere people in the bubble... But I hear too much "lord" all the time, it seemed much rarer to actually hear the name Jesus. Did you notice this also? And how they never say "In Jesus name" at the end of a prayer. It's odd to them. So sad. Just like people lifting their hands to praise. I remember one time a newcomer was at the meeting and was lifting her hands in praise. The vibe in the place was just so awkward. People didn't know how to react. Almost a mocking vibe was in the air. I never forgot that. And that lady never did return. Smart lady I will never forget what that experience taught me. I used to feel like a rope was tied around my hands and I could not lift them in praise. I felt so free when those chains were broken. We don't have to all worship the same!! I feel the same way about worship dancing. Imagine the looks on their face if someone started dancing in the meeting hall! LOL

Thank you for the suggestion of books to read, Ohio I have not read the Bible in a long time. Never did read it every day but I would love to. I admit I feel kind of closed off to reading the Bible... like a numb feeling and not sure how to begin. But I will start with John. Love that book. I just need to surrender to Jesus. I do sometimes but we need to do it more than once! Esp me, I am so stubborn. I am afraid of showing weakness. Whenever I feel the Holy Spirit I weep and weep. It feels like it will never stop and I end up feeling far away again because I don't want to be humble. Huge icky spiritual pride still has it's grip on me... Or whatever it is. I hate the feeling of being far away from God but that's what I feel more often than not. But I know that He is real and cares for me. Thank you for your prayers and suggestions.

Thank you Kumbaya, I will share more as time goes on. Yay for being a former church kid!! Yea we all had such a similar experience but it's so refreshing to not feel alone in the world. Cause it sure feels like it when everyone drops you. Seems like most people in the local church talk only from a religious perspective. Basically, what's wrong with you, get with the programming and you will be fine!! (kind of goes hand in hand with the lalalala mentality) So when any kind of real problem comes up they are just perplexed cause that's not how problems are handled in their reality. Sorry, I know I am rambling, but I get so heated when I talk about this. It's not true fellowship. And I go through days of feeling free, and days when I am so upset at all the layers in which the system breaks down a person.
There is nothing wrong with us for leaving. God lead us out, and that is enough!

Yea it's amazing how much fear gets instilled in us.
You know those stories of how perpetrators scout out their victims, and know which buttons to push to install fear and loyalty.
Well that's what happened to all of us. I believe they pick certain people with certain back grounds and prey on them. Lots of kind giving people but who are insecure with poor boundaries end up in this situation. Perfect narc/codependant relationship situation but large scale. All all the codependents need their fix and the narcs suck them dry. A lot of kind and giving people have gotten ripped off and are so wounded spiritually. And I don't blame them. I pray for their healing in Jesus name. The amount of broken hearts, from those who gave their all but are now an unmentionable name, just because they followed their conscience.

The local church aborted them.
But God does not abort his children when they have a question or disagreement. He loves us and would never do that. The spirit of abortion is a real thing and I have seen it so many times in the stories of the brothers and sisters being cut off just for having a concern. UGH!!!! I am so glad Jesus will never forsake us!

You know it makes me so angry knowing how much money LSM charges for all their material.
(Also, have you noticed how the green bookshelves of LSM material is kind of like an idol? It made me feel so uncomfortable even before I started questioning why we only read stuff from LSM. Then I found out about the one publication rule. Couldn't believe it. Can't get over how sisters can't get together and read the biography of Corrie Ten Boom, cause its not LSM material. Is that not INSANE?!?!?)

Was reading the income report for 2013, was posted somewhere here.
Over 4 million in revenue from just trainings and conferences, etc. In One Year.
What the heck do they do with it all?!

These people really have been duped. A lot of them don't make that much and most of their free money is dedicated to LSM materials. And I find that the morning revival thing is just awful. So much money over a lifetime... Just think, all these extra materials to help draw people to God? Holy Spirit and just the Bible isn't good enough?? :'( It's just so sad.
And the amount of confusing material we have to unlearn is incredible.
God truly led us out. Thank you God for letting us see the Light, and may we all draw closer to it. I pray for healing for all members on this forum, no matter how long it's been. Thank you Jesus!

And I pray He leads out many many more!! In Jesus Name!!!

~Blue Orchid
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Old 12-22-2017, 01:20 AM   #7
Bradley
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Default Re: Hi Everyone :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueOrchid View Post
...I was so scared to even type something into google. We were taught that it was "damaging" to look up anything online. We were strictly advised against it.
We were fear mongered into staying into the church life "no matter what."...

Its 'poison' don't cha know. If you take it in, the devil will use it to corrupt your mind against the church. You mind find something that makes sense, you might see things how they really are, you might hear sad stories of people's bad experiences with the church and y'know, the devil can use these to (gasp) corrupt your heart against the church life and (shock horror) you might stop coming to the meetings. You would lose your church life and you'll have no chance to be an overcomer anymore so you'll burn in outer darkness for 1000 years getting a taste of the second death in 'summer school' all because you opened your mind to the other side of the story.

So just close your eyes, close your mind and close your heart to all other speakings. Immerse yourself in the ministry and God will renew your mind to think what we want you to think.
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Old 12-23-2017, 06:22 PM   #8
LifeGoesOn
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Default Re: Hi Everyone :)

No longer slaves (song)

https://youtu.be/2QigyB50yGw
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“So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, "If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine;
and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free."”
John‬ 8:31-32‬
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