It's a long way

[PatinSopchoppy]

Hi,
Pat here and this is my testimony.I hope to keep this very honest ,it is easy to color our stories the way we want them to appear.My story is not a great one.I did not grow up in the church.My Mom was (still is) a Mormon,COC not LDS,my dad raised Catholic but left it before I was born.We probably went to church a few times when I was a kid but I can really only remember once.I have however always believed in the Lord.As long as I can remember l have had a prayer life ,and have always felt his hand on my life , watching me and taking better care of me than I ever deserved.By the time I was a young teen ,in the mid seventies,I was getting into trouble.Smoking , drinking, partying.Graduated high school in 1980 and by 85 had had a son , gotten married and was divorced in less than a year.It is hard to look back on this time of my life.I know that the sins I committed then had consequences that hurt not just me,. but many in my life,as sin always does.Having a son made me realize how wrong I was living and after a close brush with some real trouble began to turn my life around.I cut myself off from almost all of the people I knew and spent the next year's working and raising him.In 2004 at a time when I deeply needed the Lord in my Life I began to look through a blble.No person was involved ,I was alone in my room and found the sinners prayer in the back.I prayed the payer.Within a year I met my wife ,was married and my life began to change dramatically.We soon joined a church and I met some of the finest people l have ever known.Many who influenced me in great ways.Being a carpenter I was led into mission work, mostly disaster recovery, mostly domestic but twice chosen to serve in Saipan.I never dreamed I would have such opportunities.I am grateful to the Lord so much for blessing me as he has.I don't know why though.I look at a great man of God like Watchman Nee who gave his life to the Lord and spent his last twenty years in prison, where as I seem to be carried through life in such a way.Only God knows.

Thanks for sharing. I have had a life full of ups and downs, highs and lows. Sometimes it was so disappointing that I felt the Christian life is a hoax and that God wasnt really involved in my life. But when I look back I can see how can has used even all those mistakes. Realizing that the Christian life was never supposed to be lived as a lonely wolf, I prayed that God would let me meet believers who had a Christian life according to the bible that actually worked in a practical way. By unbelievable und statistically unlikely circumstances, I now have these in my life. The key for me was to live in covenant not only with God, but also with other believers, that I am accountable to and that I live in light with, being brutally honest about my life, not hiding anymore. This was what actually helped me. And all those mistakes I did inthe past now works out for good to me, because now it is just very difficult for me to judge another human being. I appreciate that you in an honest way share about your life. -googlelight

[countmeworthy]

Thank you both for sharing your testimonies. May God bless you both with Wisdom, inner peace and abundant Love as you grow strong in the Lord and in the power of His Might. ——-Carol

[Trapped]

Originally Posted by PatinSopchoppy

Thanks for your testimony,
I am completely new to the issues I am hearing about the local church and your post says much.I read a lot of Christian literature,Tozer,Finney,Ravenhill ,etc and of course Watchman Nee.I really appreciated his honest and insightful understanding of this Christian Life.Having just moved into the Tallahassee area I happened onto a LSM radio station and thought wow ,this is cool.I started getting the emanna e mails and heard some commercial spots on the station about getting together with a local prayer group.Finally I found this site also.I thought it was actually connected to the local church but after reading your testimony and others it seems many(all?)have had very negative experiences .Some of what you described,lovebombing new members,blind alliegance to Lee ,fake spiritually among members are sadly common in similar ways in much of denominational church life also.Im sure many people are drawn to this local church experience as a way of finding a deeper walk in their faith, something like the local church that Nee established.Any way I am thankful to learn these things.Still I wonder if any here have had a positive experience with the local church.

Bringing this quote from you over here to your thread so I don't hijack sinnersavedbygrace's thread as I address you.

The local church in Tallahassee is not a healthy situation and has had issues for years. I'm sorry I can't say more, but I know of numerous saints who have "gotten burned" there.

One thing that is a characteristic of the local churches generally is the whole "do as they say, not as they do" thing, which Jesus said of the hypocritical Pharisees. Lee may say in hard print "if something I say doesn't line up with the Scripture, even the meekest sister should stand up and correct me." But what really happens is if someone does that, they get labeled "negative" and are supposed to admit full fault, repent, or be viewed as "poisonous" and are ostracized, thus losing their entire life's social connections. If it's a sister who does it, she would be accused of "fomenting a rebellion".

One problem with having the legacy of books by Nee and Lee that they do, is that newcomers come upon a particular book from decades ago, read it, agree with it, and think that the local churches today reflect a particular given scriptural insight found in that book.

But they often don't.

Or sometimes they do, but due to the way Nee and Lee spoke, it's very possible to walk away with one impression when that's not really what they meant.

e.g. "all the believers in a city are the church in that city!"

Sounds good! Warm and fuzzy!

What it really means: "everyone has to come meet with us to be unified and if they don't then they are not part of the genuine church".

Ruh roh. (as Scooby Doo would say)

Positive experiences in the local church are possible if you agree with everything, submit to everything, and shut off your mind so you live blissfully unaware that you are living according to unscriptural and oppressive teachings. There is care within the local church, as long as you are a "positive" member of it. But you've got to keep your mouth shut in the face of a lot of lies to remain the positive member they want.