I'm so lost on how to live a normal life

Hey guys...................................

I know my story is nothing compared to what some of you guys experienced, and I know the Lord is with me and will guide me, but I thought maybe I could just ask this on this forum for a little guidance..

I've always been a person on the "extreme"... from the moment I got my first game boy color I played Pokemon like crazy, which then spiraled into other video game addictions, I've always been super OCD about school assignments to get them perfect and to get the highest grades possible, unfortunately this carried over into my faith and... I saw Christians on Campus thinking how wonderful! A group that meets to read the Bible and fellowship!

So I took my relationship with Christ to an extreme... yes I gave up my sinful ways of masturbating 3-4x a day (sorry if too much information but that's the reality), cussing a lot, being addicted to video games, being addicted to peer pressure, however unfortunately all this transferred into me having just too much free time.

So I started getting involved with local church activities and let's just say I channeled everything into ambition for a relationship with God and also I became even more OCD/obsessed with schoolwork and I started judging people like crazy in my thoughts with self-righteousness.. since I had so much free time.

Let's just say the local church is not for me. I'm incapable of being a member there and having a natural relationship with God, the way it should be... yes God should be first place I believe but for me the local church is taking God and making him an ambition like I had in the video games or in schoolwork... not to mention (for me) their strange anxiety producing doctrines. They drew me in real far and started peer pressuring me I feel.

I know they do this all unconsciously, I know they don't mean to come off so strongly it's just how they are, I know all Christians have their flaws since we are sinners and fall short of perfection.

I guess the issue I have, is now finally that I have Christ in my life what do I DO?!?!?!

I have so much free time now and I don't want to become a recluse and just study the Bible in all my free time, I know God should be most important but my flaws make me be ambitious / anxious in regards to God. I have no concrete plans for after college yet, and I've never been very social so my network of friends is super limited. I always find a way to take SOMETHING to the extreme.

Anyone know some good scripture for people who get anxiety due to taking things to an extreme? OCD about perfection? What to do with spare time? It's like sometimes I believe I find a good balance of "normal" things to do and then a week later I find myself obsessing about a ton of things. Right now I think I'm at a good balance thanks to God though... hmm maybe this time around it will be different.

[UntoHim]

Hi Unregistered Guest.

Thanks for taking the chance and putting yourself out here on this forum. Please consider registering as a forum member. This would not only give the benefit of having your post appear immediately without going through the moderation que, it would afford you access to the Private Messaging system in which you could send and receive confidential communication with other forum members. This might be especially helpful for a young man in your situation. There are quite a number of older, mature brothers on this forum who I am sure have some very good advise for you, but might be better shared through the Private Message system.

In the meantime, I would encourage you to find an older, experienced Christian brother, or better a group of brothers, who could provide you with some solid fellowship and counselling. If you are in a relatively sizable metro area and/or close to a major college campus I'm quite sure you could find your way to such a fellowship. Please do not take the lie from our well-meaning, but decidedly deceived, brothers and sisters in the Local Church that there is no other legitimate Christian fellowship outside of their tiny little sect. As a matter of fact, you have found one right here on LocalChurchDiscussions.Com!

Again, please take a few minutes and request membership to LCD by shooting an email (along with your desired UserName) to: LocalChurchDiscussions@Gmail.Com

Your brother who is unto Him.
-

[aron]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Let's just say the local church is not for me. I'm incapable of being a member there and having a natural relationship with God, the way it should be... yes God should be first place I believe but for me the local church is taking God and making him an ambition like I had in the video games or in schoolwork... not to mention (for me) their strange anxiety producing doctrines. They drew me in real far and started peer pressuring me I feel.

They definitely peer-pressure you. If you don't have healthy and well-developed boundaries you will crumble before them and they'll be in your head and in your soul quick as a wink. Believe me, I know.

And they are hard to get out, once in.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I always find a way to take SOMETHING to the extreme.

Unfortunately I'm the wrong person to give advice on being normal, and balanced. Believe me I'd love to, but it's just a mystery to me.

But I'll offer this, not as a superior alternative to a balanced and healthy lifestyle but at least as a sort of "holding pen" to keep you going until you do find the elusive "normal" life that's supposed to exist out there.

My alternative is Jesus Christ. "Zeal of Thy house has eaten Me up". Jesus was on fire for God. Uncompromising. Try to cut corners with Him and you got, "Get behind Me, Satan". Poof! You got smoked. No warm, soft fuzzies from the Great Shepherd of the Sheep.

The LC group is zealous, but zealous for the group, not for Jesus Christ. Their "Christ" is proprietary to the LC, and as such is missing a LOT of essentials. They call it "The Body" and "The Kingdom" and "The Temple" and so forth, all of which are "corporate" now, supposedly. Jesus now is The Church, which just so happens (surprise!) to be their group.

So the Group, and thus the Leadership, and thus the Edicts of the Leadership, are all God to them, and they burn with fire for these things. But show them Jesus the Christ, who was an actual person, and they are moderately interested at best. If they can line up the Christ you show them with their "Processed God", then you may have some interaction. But it's remarkable how quick they will look away from the Bible, if you show them stuff that doesn't line up with the Teachings of Our Brother (you know who).

Jesus, on the other hand, was unyieldingly fixated upon His Father in heaven. And He found the Father's will in lepers, sick people, drunks and thieves. He met them where they were, and transformed them.

I am not saying that you should pursue Great Works; no far from it. What I am saying is that if you see the One who actually did this, you will automatically be taken to someplace great. It is like reading Tolkien's Middle Earth: suddenly you are there, with wolves and orcs and giant spiders. Unfortunately I'm an obsessive reader and read those books when I was something like 10 years old. I got sucked into another realm. I was weak-willed and impressionable, you know? Young and naive, and full of fantastic imagination.

Eventually as an adult, I realized Jesus is the Other Realm, personified. He is the Way. He's the Truth made flesh. He's the life that God wants for us all. Not some culturally-derived "church life". Jesus is the way.

Now, all of this probably won't help you a bit. Sorry. It might even lead you astray. So don't feel obliged to lay hold, or even attempt. But I had to share this, as one who's been down the proverbial road a mile or two. I can't say anything else. Peace and God bless you. God began a great work in you, and is quite capable of finishing it. Don't give up before God gives up. Peace.

[aron]

A couple of addendums:

Originally Posted by aron

Jesus was unyieldingly fixated upon His Father in heaven. ....Eventually as an adult, I realized Jesus is the Other Realm, personified.

Only the Holy Spirit can show you Jesus Christ. Your natural mind will never find Him. But the Holy Spirit loves to declare the things of Jesus Christ. So if you seek the person of Jesus Christ, you will get the Holy Spirit. I guarantee it.

But if you seek the Holy Spirit you'll likely get something else: excitement, maybe even a kind of feverish, fleshly and/or soulish hysteria, perhaps with some kind of religious or 'mystical' patina. You'll know it by its fruit: you'll be nervous, self-obsessed and subjective, judgmental, full of grandiose notions that you are somebody or something. Etc.

So don't take your eye off the ball.

Secondly, if you see Jesus you see the Father's love for us all. God loved us so much that He sent His Son. Nobody has ever seen God, but Jesus declared Him. Fully and completely. In toto.

My point here is that you cannot find the Father. But you can find Jesus, who is finding the Father right in front of you. "I came to do Thy will, O God; behold in the scroll of the book it is written concerning Me." It is Jesus. He's the way home to the Father.

Originally Posted by aron

Unfortunately I'm the wrong person to give advice on being normal, and balanced. Believe me I'd love to, but it's just a mystery to me.

If you do eventually find some semblance of balance and normality, please let us know. If I was a normal, lucid person I probably wouldn't be here typing on this computer keyboard, but instead would instead be "out there", doing something real and good and true. So please feel free to help us out if you find anything.

[Ohio]

There's nothing unhealthy about reading the Bible (if you can, read start to finish several times) and talking/praying to the Lord. You are also reading the word for your future by laying a good foundation.

The dangers arise when, as you said, we become judgmental. In other words, we don't read the word to actually know the word, but we read it for others to critique them. Unfortunately I did too much of that in the LC.

Neither should you shirk your other responsibilities because of your spiritual desires. Don't be like me, I dropped out of college when I got saved.

Wow, you all seem to have been through a lot more than me. Slowly I think I am finding that normal life and showing love to everyone and judging less and brushing those things away. I've overcome so much thanks to the Holy Spirit, God the Father, and Jesus I just know I have anxiety tendencies. Some things that really helped so far have been giving away money to various organizations, volunteering, and just hanging out with people who are lost and showing them the joy I have. My goal is just to spread the love so maybe some day someone who is having a hard time will notice and ask me why I am joyous constantly (assuming I can persevere in the difficult times and show joy the same as in these easy times, and I trust God will help me with that) and then I can tell them how awesome Christ is.

Of course I believe staying in the Word is important, but I think that it is important that people around me see how God changes people. If I were to just sit in the Word all day I feel I'd be going to one side of an extreme, which I think is not the best way to spread Christ's love for us, and it's easy to go into extremes. The best way we can spread Christ's love is to live a balanced, joyous life that people seek so hard to find. The two greatest commandments were to love your neighbor as yourself and to love God with all your heart, soul, and strength (I think) so if we just read the Word the entire time or get into extremes we aren't maximizing our potential. So... yeah that's my plan right now it's all so clear in my head but I'm not sure if in practice it will remain clear my entire life since God can change our course of thinking SO quickly. I've noticed though, that every time life gets really hard when I finally exit it I find myself thinking "Wow, God's plan IS PERFECT! I can't believe how much I needed that hard time to set me straight!". Definitely have to stay in the Word and just keep praying and just keep loving our neighbors, and trust in God with all our heart because HE will set our paths straight! Even if it's through an experience like we've had with the local church.

Thank you brothers, and good luck

[TLFisher]

I would agree much what Ohio and Aron said before me. Read the Bible. I found in the local churches there's a lot of peer pressure and pretention. Speaking for myself, getting into the Word and into a non-LSM church life enables one to live much more normally.

[aron]

Originally Posted by Terry

...getting into the Word and into a non-LSM church life enables one to live much more normally.

One good thing I did post-LC was get active in the community church life in my area. There are a lot of wacked-out Baptists and Anabaptists and every other type and stripe out there, but if you take your time, be careful, pray a lot, and don't "Lay hold quickly", per 1 Tim 5:22 and "Prove all spirits", per 1 John 4:1 and 1 Thess 5:21, you'll find someone whose Christian walk appears quite appealingly "normal", and thus attractive.

It turned out that dreaded "Christianity" was a good antidote to the LC for my pickled brain, and a good venue for me to go on in the Lord. Of course no church is perfect, and no Christian brother or sister is perfected. But don't use that as an excuse to cop out. Rather, that's an opportunity for each of us to serve God, by helping our neighbor. Behold, the fields are white for harvest.

Put it another way, if you want to find balance in your life, find someone who appears to have balance in theirs, and copy them... I like to read, and to peck away on a keyboard, as well, but there's nothing like putting your boots on the ground somewhere; there's nothing like walking into a place "where everyone knows your name", to use the phrase from the tv show Cheers. (I know I'm dating myself here).

If you think about it, the LC was all about isolation and segregation. We created some arbitrary "ground" to separate ourselves from our brothers and sisters. It didn't work. We became peculiar, to say the least. Now, post-LC, we should not repeat the same mistake.

[aron]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Thank you brothers, and good luck

Thanks for posting. God bless your journey of faith.

[HERn]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Hey guys....I know my story is nothing compared to what some of you guys experienced, and I know the Lord is with me and will guide me, but I thought maybe I could just ask this on this forum for a little guidance.....

Hi dear brother,

Because of the fall of Adam and Eve we are all damaged vessels. Anxiety may be a permanent fixture in your psychological life. Talk with a physician for medical advice. No one is normal if we take Jesus as being the standard. And Jesus never rejects or condemns a sick person for seeking Him for help. Our suffering causes us to pray and seek Him. As a young man your impulses and fanatasies sound common. Seek Him and His encouraging words in the books of Matthew through John. Tell Him what you like and don't like and allow Him to work out long-term sanctification in you. You will forever remain in His hand and His prayers to the Father for you will never cease. When you lay your head down in death as an old man you will praise His faithfulness and love. Be strong my dear brother!