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Old 11-13-2019, 07:29 AM   #1
BJS03
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Default My decision

Hey guys,

I have decided to leave the Lord's Recovery because of its destructive behavior towards the saints and the potential destruction towards my mental health, and I have become an athiest within these 5 months of spiritual turmoil within me after I have learned about the truth about the Recovery movement (through Cal's videos on youtube, Jo Casteel's letter and her situation with her husband now with the lord, this discussion forum, and some online articles and youtube videos on similar cults and how to identify if you are in one). Are there any suggestions to help me go through this process of leaving this group? Also, how do I mentally "check out" before I have a chance to physically leave this movement (still a high schooler right now but will become a college student in two years)? Are there also any young people (high school or college age) formerly within the recovery in this forum?
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Old 11-13-2019, 09:40 AM   #2
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Default Re: My decision

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Originally Posted by BJS03 View Post
Hey guys,

I have decided to leave the Lord's Recovery because of its destructive behavior towards the saints and the potential destruction towards my mental health, and I have become an athiest within these 5 months of spiritual turmoil within me after I have learned about the truth about the Recovery movement (through Cal's videos on youtube, Jo Casteel's letter and her situation with her husband now with the lord, this discussion forum, and some online articles and youtube videos on similar cults and how to identify if you are in one). Are there any suggestions to help me go through this process of leaving this group? Also, how do I mentally "check out" before I have a chance to physically leave this movement (still a high schooler right now but will become a college student in two years)? Are there also any young people (high school or college age) formerly within the recovery in this forum?
Hi BJS03,

You came into the Recovery because they presented positive things about God, the Bible, and His people. They were attractive to you at the time. Then, like many of us, you saw problems behind the scenes and became disenchanted. I would suggest that you hold on to everything positive. That's what I am doing. I still cling to the Lord and His Word. Since LC people and their leaders have disappointed you, consider waiting for a season of time, during which you can read and prayer and heal, until the Lord leads you.
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Old 11-13-2019, 11:57 AM   #3
BJS03
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Default Re: My decision

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Hi BJS03,

You came into the Recovery because they presented positive things about God, the Bible, and His people. They were attractive to you at the time. Then, like many of us, you saw problems behind the scenes and became disenchanted. I would suggest that you hold on to everything positive. That's what I am doing. I still cling to the Lord and His Word. Since LC people and their leaders have disappointed you, consider waiting for a season of time, during which you can read and prayer and heal, until the Lord leads you.
Ok, except that I didnt choose to come into the recovery. I was born to parents that were in the recovery, so I've been in it since I was born
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Old 11-13-2019, 01:42 PM   #4
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Default Re: My decision

Well I'm another young person, 2nd year university student, and I'm sure there's a few others. I also left mentally right after I graduated high school and became an atheist.

As far as leaving the group, this really depends on how open your parents are to you leaving, as well as the people around you. Physically leaving is something which you should do once you're more independent, but you seem to have figured that out already . If you want a more detailed guide, this video has helped me immensely: https://youtu.be/MJ-8ocmtb_8?t=1. He's a therapist with comprehensive and detailed knowledge about high-control groups like the LC; this video has been my go-to for situations like this for a while.

Mentally checking out is a different thing entirely. If you are still forced to go to meetings and participate, it can be extremely draining. Do your best to stay strong, and work on developing your own belief system; again something which you seem to have been doing. Seek out truth, look at sources from every angle. Having an paradigm shift like this can be jarring and scary, but its also a wonderful opportunity to grow into someone that YOU choose, not just what those around you want you to become.
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Old 11-13-2019, 08:52 PM   #5
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Default Re: My decision

Quote:
Originally Posted by BJS03 View Post
Hey guys,

I have decided to leave the Lord's Recovery because of its destructive behavior towards the saints and the potential destruction towards my mental health, and I have become an athiest within these 5 months of spiritual turmoil within me after I have learned about the truth about the Recovery movement (through Cal's videos on youtube, Jo Casteel's letter and her situation with her husband now with the lord, this discussion forum, and some online articles and youtube videos on similar cults and how to identify if you are in one). Are there any suggestions to help me go through this process of leaving this group? Also, how do I mentally "check out" before I have a chance to physically leave this movement (still a high schooler right now but will become a college student in two years)? Are there also any young people (high school or college age) formerly within the recovery in this forum?

Hi BJS03,

Would you be able to explain how you came to be an atheist in the last 5 months? I am not asking in order to argue or convince you in any way; I am just curious to know your thought process.

For example, I know for some people the issue is "if there is a God how could he let me be in this destructive place?"

It weighs me down to think about the painful process many people go through in leaving, and I am very interested to hear how people come to their conclusions, which are various.

I will be frank and say I hope you believe in God at some point down the road, but won't push you on it at the moment.

As far as mentally checking out, the best thing I can say is try to mentally switch to "observation mode". You have to be there physically, but don't mentally agree. So treat it as something you are observing as an outsider. If you have to listen, try to get any positive thing out of it that you can. See if there is any little thing you agree with and can use. Not every single thing that is spoken there is a waste. I remember one brother saying years ago that he attended a week-long training and got nothing out of it spiritually, but did walk away at the end knowing he needed to keep his sock drawer straight. Hey, that's beneficial.

Trapped
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Old 11-18-2019, 11:24 AM   #6
BJS03
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Default Re: My decision

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Originally Posted by Trapped View Post
Hi BJS03,

Would you be able to explain how you came to be an atheist in the last 5 months? I am not asking in order to argue or convince you in any way; I am just curious to know your thought process.

For example, I know for some people the issue is "if there is a God how could he let me be in this destructive place?"

It weighs me down to think about the painful process many people go through in leaving, and I am very interested to hear how people come to their conclusions, which are various.

I will be frank and say I hope you believe in God at some point down the road, but won't push you on it at the moment.

As far as mentally checking out, the best thing I can say is try to mentally switch to "observation mode". You have to be there physically, but don't mentally agree. So treat it as something you are observing as an outsider. If you have to listen, try to get any positive thing out of it that you can. See if there is any little thing you agree with and can use. Not every single thing that is spoken there is a waste. I remember one brother saying years ago that he attended a week-long training and got nothing out of it spiritually, but did walk away at the end knowing he needed to keep his sock drawer straight. Hey, that's beneficial.

Trapped
I started to read articles on this forum from this July, and I started seeing some things that weren't right in the HWMRs and in the church. I also didnt feel like I have a strong relationship with God, and I felt like I've not been a "real" Christian. I tried to have a relationship with God but the things that LSM and the recovery taught me over the years actually damaged the relationship or my willingness to have one at all. I've been happier with ideas outside of Christianity (especially those taught in the LCM) and I felt like I've been wasting time going to the meetings even when I didnt want to be there. I'm done with Christianity and more so the crap that I've received in the Lords Recovery since birth. Also, to be honest, I wish I could just leave the faith and the Lords Recovery sooner than possible because I found a different community with ideas that I feel happier with, and I can express myself more in that community than in Christianity and the LR and also because I dont want to be brainwashed again with Lee's, Nee's and the BB's teachings.
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Old 11-18-2019, 12:18 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by BJS03 View Post
I started to read articles on this forum from this July, and I started seeing some things that weren't right in the HWMRs and in the church. I also didnt feel like I have a strong relationship with God, and I felt like I've not been a "real" Christian. I tried to have a relationship with God but the things that LSM and the recovery taught me over the years actually damaged the relationship or my willingness to have one at all. I've been happier with ideas outside of Christianity (especially those taught in the LCM) and I felt like I've been wasting time going to the meetings even when I didnt want to be there. I'm done with Christianity and more so the crap that I've received in the Lords Recovery since birth. Also, to be honest, I wish I could just leave the faith and the Lords Recovery sooner than possible because I found a different community with ideas that I feel happier with, and I can express myself more in that community than in Christianity and the LR and also because I dont want to be brainwashed again with Lee's, Nee's and the BB's teachings.

BJS03, Jesus loves you and died for you, to pay the price for your sins.


I think it's terrible that the LC has so little of the love of God.
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Old 11-26-2019, 01:07 AM   #8
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Default Re: My decision

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Originally Posted by BJS03 View Post
Are there also any young people (high school or college age) formerly within the recovery in this forum?
I'm currently in college! My family is still very much integrated in the church (church kid here WOOP), but I have (for the most part) separated myself from the church. I'm in a similar boat, sort of borderline heading towards atheism in my current state, I've tried other Christian groups and so far I've found myself in a weird gray area of belief. Maybe it'll change, but for now I'm worrying about other things.

If you want to talk feel free to PM me! I don't check this forum as frequently nowadays but I read your post and thought it was worth reaching out!

Last edited by Melo; 11-26-2019 at 01:11 AM. Reason: added information
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Old 11-29-2019, 03:32 AM   #9
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Default Re: My decision

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Originally Posted by BJS03 View Post
I've decided to leave the Lord's Recovery because of its destructive behavior towards the saints and the potential destruction towards my mental health, and I have become an athiest within these 5 months of spiritual turmoil within me after I have learned about the truth about the Recovery movement...
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Originally Posted by Melo View Post
My family is still very much integrated in the church, but I have (for the most part) separated myself from the church. I'm in a similar boat, sort of borderline heading towards atheism in my current state, I've tried other Christian groups and so far I've found myself in a weird gray area of belief. Maybe it'll change, but for now I'm worrying about other things
I've asked this before but it might bear repeating, here - why is it that WN's decision to leave his parent's Christianity and strike out on his own is celebrated as "recovery", while LC children are conditioned from birth to avoid the same experience? Why did all the young Americans in the 1960s and 70s have liberty to leave their parent's denominations for the LC but now as parents they don't want their own children to exercise the same freedom of choice? Why did WN amass a disparate collection of some 3,000 "Christian classics" which he liberally pulled from, and everyone else got "restricted" to One Publication?

I saw infants, barely able to stand, being coaxed to "call on the Lord", complete with obligatory fist pump. It disgusted me, even then. Today a logical assessment seems to be that the Little Flock and the Local Church existed for the liberty of founders WN and WL, and none else save perhaps WL's sons. For the rest, it's a gulag. Is it any wonder that young people who leave the LC abandon any concept of God, associating it so closely with enforced superstition and rigid human control? Isn't a reasonable decision for them one of abandoned faith? I could hardly argue otherwise in the circumstances.

It took me years after leaving to re-establish faith - and I joined the as a Christian. Think about those who have no pre-existing experience base! We used to say we were "wrecked" and "ruined"... true, unfortunately. Too true.
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Old 12-02-2019, 03:32 AM   #10
aron
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Default People believe what they want to believe

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Is it any wonder that young people who leave the LC abandon any concept of God, associating it so closely with enforced superstition and rigid human control? Isn't a reasonable decision for them one of abandoned faith? I could hardly argue otherwise in the circumstances..
I was watching an interview with a "Christian cult" leader who'd been convicted of sexually abusing minors, had gone to jail, and was now back in charge of the cult. The interviewer, a TV reporter, asked about all the stories of sexual abuse, the criminal cases. He would neither affirm nor deny her queries, and began heatedly repeating himself: "People believe what they want to believe."

Now, he was referring to the news reports, but it could have been applied to his group as well, and its message. Does God exist, and did Jesus rise on the third day, and is your group an extension of the gospel story? People believe what they want to believe.

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Originally Posted by Wikipedia
Known by some outsiders as the "Cooperites" after their leader Neville Cooper, the group rejects this name and members refer to themselves only as Christians. Members of the community live a fundamentalist Christian life in accordance with their interpretation of the teachings of the New Testament. The community attempts to uphold the example of the first Christian church in Jerusalem (Acts 2:41–47) for its principles of sharing and holding all things in common. The group teaches that the only true way to salvation is through faith in Jesus Christ and obedience to the commands of God.

In 1995, Neville Cooper was jailed for almost a year on sexual abuse charges. He was convicted based on the testimony of his son and of a young woman who had fled the compound. Cooper later changed his name to Hopeful Christian. He died of cancer on 15 May 2018 aged 92.

In 2017, Lilia Tarawa, the granddaughter of the founder, spoke at TEDx Christchurch about her experience in the community. She described what life was for members, including beatings, forced marriage, and psychological control, leading members to escape from it if they could. A popular video of this talk allowed people around the world to learn more about Gloriavale and the behaviour of its men and women. Stories of child abuse, rape, and other forms of cruelty and subjugation also emerged from other former members.
I believed the group's promises because I wanted to fit somewhere, to belong, to matter. But today I conclude that either there is no God, or God is mis-represented at places like Living Stream Ministry and Gloriavale.
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