Never Felt "Good Enough"

I can certainly relate to many of the posts here. I was in the church for 30 some years. My heart, soul, mind were all for it . I went to all the meetings, most of the trainings and was fully entrenched. Over the years I got so overwhelmed by the "burdens" the brothers put on us. Bro Lee would say things in the trainings that just did not compute. I got to where I felt so condemned by what I would testify in the meetings, that I eventually quit. Never "good enough".

I have read some posts on here that almost bring me to tears. I hurt for those who were treated so badly. The Lord has to be grieved. I was never treated badly but saw things even years ago that caused me to wonder and question. I got very depressed at one time, because of the intense turmoil inside. The Lord mercifully brought me out of it.

I honestly can hardly believe what has happened to some of the saints over the years. The LC is not what it used to be. It has been taking over by man. The enemy has blinded their eyes. I knew many who have been mentioned here. Brothers who love the Lord and have been maligned and suffered terribly.

Lord, how long before you bring everything into your Light. Only you can do this.

[Sons to Glory!]

Welcome! 40 some years ago I earnestly prayed, "Lord, take me to be with those who love you the way I do." He lead me 2500 miles to the LC in Berkeley, which was really living back then. By the time I had left in the late 80s, things had gone quite sideways (and actually more than I even knew at the time).

As I was reading your post, I thought you might be helped by something I was inspired and prompted to write regarding being faithful in a few things. I posted it on here awhile back, and will see if I can find it for you.

[Sons to Glory!]

Here's that paper I mentioned. With a handful of brothers, a brother shared how the Lord specifically spoke to him regarding the faithful and unfaithful servants in Matthew 25, and how the Lord emphasized "a few things" with him. As he shared the lights came on and verses started streaming through me. I felt compelled to write this then. Hope this is a help to you!

[TLFisher]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I got to where I felt so condemned by what I would testify in the meetings, that I eventually quit. Never "good enough".

I have read some posts on here that almost bring me to tears. I hurt for those who were treated so badly. The Lord has to be grieved. I was never treated badly but saw things even years ago that caused me to wonder and question. I got very depressed at one time, because of the intense turmoil inside. The Lord mercifully brought me out of it.

I honestly can hardly believe what has happened to some of the saints over the years. The LC is not what it used to be. It has been taking over by man. The enemy has blinded their eyes. I knew many who have been mentioned here. Brothers who love the Lord and have been maligned and suffered terribly.

Lord, how long before you bring everything into your Light. Only you can do this.

Unregistered I can relate. Looking back at the 70's and 80's, I had a very good childhood in the local churches. My family had their struggles. Moving localities multiple times. As a result I made many friends. I was never abused and by God's grace we were never homeless. By the New Way I had graduated high school and the LC was not what it used to be.

As an adult in the local churches I never felt good enough. Whether I spoke or didn't speak, that's how it was. Everyone was so spiritual and I was far from it. I was like paint on a wall. Never said anything nor did anything to draw attention to myself, but observed who others were treated. I would think how could no one else see what I see? It was like the Emperor's New Clothes being lived out.
Instead of depression, I would get migraines. Perhaps from stress I was feeling. Through marriage and through fatherhood it all went away.