In A Process Of Leaving The Local Church

I'm in a process of leaving the local church.
Just wanna list a few things about LCM

Asian flavour: they emphasis the role of the males. So I notice that women often take up the roles like cooking or children ministry. The serving ones wivies are usually left alone. I really feel for them, some have young children but have to mind the children while the husband / dad go to the meetings or go for a conference out of town.

The Elders: in Lee's writings, there should be no ranking system in the church. But no one can make a decision without the elders from the church matters to personal lives ( e.g. They discourage you to get a spouse from outside the church). People have to submit to the elders.

Questions:
What I'm struggling is that some writings and people in Local church did help me a lot to know th Lord and to experience Him. In fact, I received my salvation here. They render lot so help to my practical life too.

After joining this group I don't have much friends outside now. Don't know how to start life again if I do leave.

[aron]

Unreg guest,

Look at John 7:13, 9:22, and 12:42. People who were interested in Jesus were afraid to follow Him because of the loss of jobs, being put out of the synagogue, public shame, etc. That's just the way it is; your journey is no different from anyone else's in that regard. God wants you to exercise faith. If you see something wrong with the current set-up, and the Shepherd is calling you, then follow the voice. Everything else will be added. It's called faith. Just do it.

You may lose good and valuable stuff on the way. Just make sure, really really sure, that the Shepherd is calling you. Then go.

I had a great time in the LC. I didn't get abused. I never knew about Daystar or Philip Lee. But the voice called me and I left. I was a hard-core, committed-for-life LC'er. Sure, there was stuff wrong, but so what. There's wrong stuff everywhere. I was "wrecked" for the LC church.

But the voice called and I left.

[countmeworthy]

Originally Posted by aron

Unreg guest,

Look at John 7:13, 9:22, and 12:42. People who were interested in Jesus were afraid to follow Him because of the loss of jobs, being put out of the synagogue, public shame, etc. That's just the way it is; your journey is no different from anyone else's in that regard. God wants you to exercise faith. If you see something wrong with the current set-up, and the Shepherd is calling you, then follow the voice. Everything else will be added. It's called faith. Just do it.

You may lose good and valuable stuff on the way. Just make sure, really really sure, that the Shepherd is calling you. Then go.

I had a great time in the LC. I didn't get abused. I never knew about Daystar or Philip Lee. But the voice called me and I left. I was a hard-core, committed-for-life LC'er. Sure, there was stuff wrong, but so what. There's wrong stuff everywhere. I was "wrecked" for the LC church.

But the voice called and I left.

Same here. I even miss some of my LC brethren... but fellowshipping with them outside the LC frame would be very, very difficult. I would not fit in. And I would probably suffocate.

[UntoHim]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

What I'm struggling is that some writings and people in Local church did help me a lot to know the Lord and to experience Him. In fact, I received my salvation here. They render lot so help to my practical life too.

Many (most?) of us here on the forum also received help, to one degree or another, from the ministry of Witness Lee, and also from the other brothers and sisters. The key would be, were we actually following "the Lord and to experience Him", or were we following a certain man and his ministry. It was probably a mixture of the two for most of us. This is not a particular problem to followers of Witness Lee - our fallen human nature seems to lead us to appreciate and even worship men rather than God and His Word. Of course this phenomenon became a huge problem in the Local Church, and remains so to this day.

So, if you determine to follow God and His Word, and not men or the words of men, you will find yourself in a place of God's choosing. It may take time - maybe lots of time - but if you determine to hear the voice of the Shepherd, His voice you will hear, and He will lead you to the best place for you.

After joining this group I don't have much friends outside now. Don't know how to start life again if I do leave.

Again, many of us went through this dilemma, and we are here to tell you that there is life, light and love on the other side. And yes, there is even "church life" on the other side. It may not seem like it, but you are not going to be walking out into the abyss - God, and the Body of Christ are actually waiting for you with open arms. Remember the Lord Jesus' solemn promise "I will not leave you as orphans".

Please feel free to send me a PM and it will be my joy and honor to give you some practical advise.

Your brother who is unto Him.
-

[aron]

Originally Posted by UntoHim

we're here to tell you that there is life, light and love on the other side. And yes, there is even "church life" on the other side. It may not seem like it, but you are not going to be walking out into the abyss - God, and the Body of Christ are actually waiting for you with open arms. Remember the Lord Jesus' solemn promise "I will not leave you as orphans"

One brother even wrote a book on church life on the other side of the LC sheep-fold.

http://www.assemblylife.com/

The greatest joy in my life since leaving the exclusivist LC mind-set has been finding fellowship with other believers. The internet is a great tool. You are not alone.

By the way, the hardest thing I found was to leave the LC mind-set. Even after I left physically, I would be in a church meeting and someone would be talking and I'd think, "That's not God's economy". That went on for years. It is amazing how their ideas wormed into my thinking.

[LifeGoesOn]

Originally Posted by aron

By the way, the hardest thing I found was to leave the LC mind-set. Even after I left physically, I would be in a church meeting and someone would be talking and I'd think, "That's not God's economy". That went on for years. It is amazing how their ideas wormed into my thinking.

So true. That religious spirit is strong and deeply attached/embedded in many of us, but God is faithful. He will restore us.

“"Then I will make up to you for the years That the swarming locust has eaten, The creeping locust, the stripping locust and the gnawing locust, My great army which I sent among you.”

**Joel‬ *2:25‬
*NASB‬‬

[zeek]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I'm in a process of leaving the local church.
Just wanna list a few things about LCM

Asian flavour: they emphasis the role of the males. So I notice that women often take up the roles like cooking or children ministry. The serving ones wivies are usually left alone. I really feel for them, some have young children but have to mind the children while the husband / dad go to the meetings or go for a conference out of town.

The Elders: in Lee's writings, there should be no ranking system in the church. But no one can make a decision without the elders from the church matters to personal lives ( e.g. They discourage you to get a spouse from outside the church). People have to submit to the elders.

Questions:
What I'm struggling is that some writings and people in Local church did help me a lot to know th Lord and to experience Him. In fact, I received my salvation here. They render lot so help to my practical life too.

After joining this group I don't have much friends outside now. Don't know how to start life again if I do leave.

Welcome Unregistered. Being in a closed group like the LC is socially isolating. One way of making friends outside the group is through your workplace if you work outside your home. Another is to visit other congregations. You don't have to reject the good people and things that are in the LC. Choosing to leave doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing choice even though you have been taught that.

[awareness]

Those struggling to leave the local church should know that you can recover from The Recovery.

God will not judge you and rain calamity down on you. Life is better out of the LC.

However the local church is like heroin. When you ingest it it modifies each cell in your body to become dependent on the LC juice to function. So there will be withdrawal and pain.

And you will always be a recovering Recoveryoholic.

Maybe we need to come up with a 12 step program for recoveryoholics. First rule : avoid contact with cults. You'll be weak for them.

I know it sounds like I'm making light of coming out of the LC. But I'm not. I know how hard it is. It took me more than 3 yrs to get the programming out of my head. And there was no internet, nor friends or family to help me thru it. I had cut them all off. It was very painful to deprogram myself.

So if you are leaving the LC gird up your loins and face it like it's the death of a loved one. Cuz it is a similar loss. It was for me.

[Evangelical]

Out of interest, which Bible version or bible versions are you reading now?

[UntoHim]

Evangelical,
Let's keep this thread to address the issues and concerns of the opening poster. Maybe you could ask this question to awareness over on Alt Views.
Thanks
-

[awareness]

Originally Posted by EvanG

Out of interest, which Bible version or bible versions are you reading now?

I don't know for sure who EvanG was asking. If me, by all means, come down to the basement.

[UntoHim]

Opps, jumped the gun on that one, did't I.

Mr E, who were you addressing the question to?
-

[Evangelical]

Well I'd encourage them to keep reading the bible, especially the Recovery version if it helps them.

[leastofthese]

Originally Posted by Evangelical

Well I'd encourage them to keep reading the bible, especially the Recovery version if it helps them.

Read scripture, if reading the recovery version, steer clear from the commentary from Witness Lee. Find a local church that is biblically based - don't get all caught up with the name. Most of the congregation (including the pastor) probably aren't that caught up with the name either. Pray. Spend time with your brothers and sisters in Christ. Show grace, receive grace. Show love, receive love. Follow the Holy Spirit.

[Ohio]

Originally Posted by Evangelical

Well I'd encourage them to keep reading the bible, especially the Recovery version if it helps them.

Great idea. The others will immediately know that you are in the 12 step program.

[Nell]

Originally Posted by awareness

...
And you will always be a recovering Recoveryoholic.

... First rule : avoid contact with cults. You'll be weak for them.

I can offer a different perspective.

I consider that I am fully recovered from the teachings and practices I was exposed to in the LC, as well as the horrors I experienced. It's part of my past and gave me my perspective on life and my walk with the Lord. I'm grateful that He rescued me. However, I see that I ignored the warning signs, and there were signs. I confessed my own failures and poor choices in believing and following men rather than God. I now know what to do when I see or hear something that is "off."

I don't want to "go back" as a participant, but I can and do go to a meeting every so often, out of curiosity, just to see what's going on and if anything has changed. I'm unaffected by it except to confirm that leaving was the right decision. I haven't gone to a meeting in several years, though.

I'm not weak for cults. The "cult mentality" of groups is everywhere and can be seen in the media, politics, etc., so that would be hard to purposely avoid. I can recognize cult mentality when I see the warning signs, but I consider that a strength.

So, full recovery from "the recovery" is possible. It takes time getting out of the garlic room, but once you do, there is fresh air and you can never forget the smell of the garlic. You know or learn what to do when you smell it in any context, i.e., listen, smile, then turn around and RUN!

Nell

[aron]

Good points, Nell. Lee wasn't and isn't the only flim-flam man. One of many. We can learn & move on.

[awareness]

Originally Posted by Nell

I can offer a different perspective....

Amen Nell .... so true. Thanks for that perspective.

[aron]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

After joining this group I don't have much friends outside now. Don't know how to start life again if I do leave.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-U4Cq-dgNnw

"Leaving is incredibly difficult, but it is also completely life-changing." This woman's grandfather started the Geftakys Assembly. It's amazing - if you change the names from George Geftakys to Witness Lee it's pretty much identical.

[Zezima]

Originally Posted by Nell

I can offer a different perspective.

I consider that I am fully recovered from the teachings and practices I was exposed to in the LC, as well as the horrors I experienced. It's part of my past and gave me my perspective on life and my walk with the Lord. I'm grateful that He rescued me. However, I see that I ignored the warning signs, and there were signs. I confessed my own failures and poor choices in believing and following men rather than God. I now know what to do when I see or hear something that is "off."

I don't want to "go back" as a participant, but I can and do go to a meeting every so often, out of curiosity, just to see what's going on and if anything has changed. I'm unaffected by it except to confirm that leaving was the right decision. I haven't gone to a meeting in several years, though.

I'm not weak for cults. The "cult mentality" of groups is everywhere and can be seen in the media, politics, etc., so that would be hard to purposely avoid. I can recognize cult mentality when I see the warning signs, but I consider that a strength.

So, full recovery from "the recovery" is possible. It takes time getting out of the garlic room, but once you do, there is fresh air and you can never forget the smell of the garlic. You know or learn what to do when you smell it in any context, i.e., listen, smile, then turn around and RUN!

Nell

How do you interact with those who still attend when you visit? When they ask where you have been, what you’re doing etc.

[Nell]

Originally Posted by Zezima

How do you interact with those who still attend when you visit? When they ask where you have been, what you’re doing etc.

Zezima,

I interact just fine, and so do they. I didn't leave with "guns blazin'" so I'm not a pariah. They are polite to me and respectful. People I knew for years come up to me and greet me as though I was just someone they haven't seen in a very long time.

Honestly, no one asks "where have you been?" or "what have you been doing?" I think they may already know and don't want to hear the answers, or start a dialogue about it.

Nell

[Ohio]

Originally Posted by Zezima

How do you interact with those who still attend when you visit? When they ask where you have been, what you’re doing etc.

Tell them you are doing your best to follow the Lamb where ever He may take them. -- Revelation 14.4

[Recovering]

Originally Posted by Nell

Zezima,

I interact just fine, and so do they. I didn't leave with "guns blazin'" so I'm not a pariah. They are polite to me and respectful. People I knew for years come up to me and greet me as though I was just someone they haven't seen in a very long time.

Honestly, no one asks "where have you been?" or "what have you been doing?" I think they may already know and don't want to hear the answers, or start a dialogue about it.

Nell

I think this is a really important point. My wife and I tried hard to leave in a good way that was respectful of current members and left the door open for fellowship. A small handful of people have stayed in touch, and in a few cases we have been able to have some meaningful discussions about the local church life and life "outside". I'm hopeful that one day I can be a welcoming face and friendly guide when they have their own moment of realization about their need to leave.

Leaving with, as Nell so nicely put it, with "guns ablazin" might feel good in the short term but just cuts off relationships and feeds a narrative that you only leave if you have "gone off the deep end." I've known some who left after a cathartic speaking of their mind trying to convince others to leave too and later regretted it. I think the best thing one can do after leaving is to start to thrive in a new church life. There are several discussion threads on finding a new place that could be helpful.

[Zezima]

Yeah, that makes sense when leaving. But Nell mentioned that he visits from time to time to observe.

[Ohio]

Originally Posted by Recovering

Leaving with, as Nell so nicely put it, with "guns ablazin" might feel good in the short term but just cuts off relationships and feeds a narrative that you only leave if you have "gone off the deep end."

Agree. Leave with love in your heart. I think we should always try to distinguish between the rotten leaders and the many precious brother and sisters in the LC's. I have always tried to do that in my comments.

[Nell]

Originally Posted by Zezima

Yeah, that makes sense when leaving. But Nell mentioned that he visits from time to time to observe.

Actually I said:

I don't want to "go back" as a participant, but I can and do go to a meeting every so often, out of curiosity, just to see what's going on and if anything has changed. I'm unaffected by it except to confirm that leaving was the right decision. I haven't gone to a meeting in several years, though.

Nell

[Zezima]

Okay, so did you not go back to observe?