Do You Try To Speak The Truth To Your Parents, Or Let Them Be?

[Trapped]

Wondering if anyone has some thoughts/input on what, if anything, to say to elderly parents who have been in the LC for decades and wouldn't be able to begin to fathom or attribute to the "wonderful church life" the majority of what is written on this site.

Do you try to explain to them the error, knowing that you might be bringing to them the dark realization that they've spent their entire life in a lie, and there's not really enough time left in their life to redeem it?

Or do you let them continue in their self-delusion, ignorance is bliss, thinking they are in the one unique best place in God's move?

I would "let them think what they think" except for the nagging thought that I don't know how God will judge the people who wholeheartedly looked down on the rest of the body of Christ, divided themselves from other believers, clung to Witness Lee as their source rather than to God, etc, etc....

Is the LC a breeding ground for the verse about "...not everyone who says Lord Lord......"?

[Ohio]

Has there ever been a time when they expressed discontent with the ministry, questioning about what "really" happened, nagging unanswered questions about the state of affairs, experienced abuse or mistreatment first hand, disappointment over ministry promises of blessing, etc.?

These are the kinds of things that "primed" my heart for departure. For my wife, it was not having any "friends."

I would think perhaps that this would be a starting point of a conversation.

Originally Posted by Trapped

Do you try to explain to them the error, knowing that you might be bringing to them the dark realization that they've spent their entire life in a lie, and there's not really enough time left in their life to redeem it?

For me this realization was nuanced. To say their "entire life was a lie" is too extreme. That would negate all of their love for the Lord, their joy of salvation, their work for Him, their love for others, etc. I came to the conclusion that these leaders changed. That was an honest conclusion, comparing their initial days in the church to today.

[Nell]

Originally Posted by Trapped

Wondering if anyone has some thoughts/input on what, if anything, to say to elderly parents who have been in the LC for decades and wouldn't be able to begin to fathom or attribute to the "wonderful church life" the majority of what is written on this site.

Do you try to explain to them the error, knowing that you might be bringing to them the dark realization that they've spent their entire life in a lie, and there's not really enough time left in their life to redeem it?

Or do you let them continue in their self-delusion, ignorance is bliss, thinking they are in the one unique best place in God's move?

I would "let them think what they think" except for the nagging thought that I don't know how God will judge the people who wholeheartedly looked down on the rest of the body of Christ, divided themselves from other believers, clung to Witness Lee as their source rather than to God, etc, etc....

Is the LC a breeding ground for the verse about "...not everyone who says Lord Lord......"?

Hi Trapped,

My parents passed years ago. They were never in the LC. There are times in the years since they've been gone that I have wished I could spend just 5 more minutes with them. I'm not sure what I would say but I wouldn't talk about my regrets over the LC.

Maybe you could think about your parents from this perspective...you've got 5 minutes. It's not likely you could say anything that would cause them to change their mind, but if they could see or touch your heart...or if they could be touched by your heart, that might be a beginning to heal the relationship. Tell them you love them, and that will never change.

Think through what you would say. Write it down. Be ready should the opportunity to speak arise. This could open the door to a later conversation about the LC.

Just a thought---
Nell

[Sons to Glory!]

Originally Posted by Trapped

Wondering if anyone has some thoughts/input on what, if anything, to say to elderly parents who have been in the LC for decades and wouldn't be able to begin to fathom or attribute to the "wonderful church life" the majority of what is written on this site.

Do you try to explain to them the error, knowing that you might be bringing to them the dark realization that they've spent their entire life in a lie, and there's not really enough time left in their life to redeem it?

Or do you let them continue in their self-delusion, ignorance is bliss, thinking they are in the one unique best place in God's move?

I think there's no one set answer. That is, it's certainly good to fellowship with others about your parents, but ultimately only the Lord knows. So best to seek His leading in each situation. In one case He might say to leave it alone, another situation He might lead a person to say something . . . or to do something else altogether.

[ExChurchKid]

Trapped,
I think I have a completely different situation, so I may not be that helpful, but I wanted to share what's happening with my parents. My mother has a personality disorder that she refuses to acknowledge or treat, so that's a whole other can of worms...but it is somewhat related, because I think the Recovery has become part of what she clings to as her identity (people with personality disorders often struggle with feeling okay in themselves), so I don't think she'll ever be able to reject the Recovery. The teachings are basically tailor made for people like her; very extreme and all-consuming. Both my parents were emotionally abusive to me, of which forcing me into the LC was a large part. It's all very intertwined. All I'm looking for from my father to be on more than texting terms is for him to admit that forcing me into the LC was abusive. I'm not even asking him to say the LC is wrong, because I know his brain would explode if he tried. The Recovery becomes way too much of a person's identity. All of his decisions, his marriage, everything since college, are based on the Recovery's teachings. I think even though he knows he messed up with parenting, as long as he clings to LC teachings, he can tell himself that he wasn't abusive to me. That it isn't completely his fault as a parent. For reference, my parents are in their early 60s, but not exactly in amazing health. My mother is "retired", i.e. unemployed for years now by choice, and my father will probably work until he dies because she spends all of his money. I personally have no hope that either of them will change before they die.



Sorry, I think I went on a bit of a rant there! I hope something I said contributed to the discussion helpfully.