Practically engaged to an LCer

[jmar]

After lots of praying and speaking with my counselor, I have decided to proceed with our relationship. She is dedicated to me and to the Lord and is not so "bound" to the LC as others are. There have been times when others have stated their opinions or suggested someone within the church for her to date, but she ignores their attempts. It doesn't seem to bother her if she misses a Sunday or meeting, and she never expects me to attend with her. There have been numerous times when we've been together, and she's chosen to stay with me rather than go to a meeting. She always listens to my spiritual perspective, even if it has a different ring to it from what she's used to. She thinks people should wear whatever they want to the meetings and that dressing up isn't at all necessary. There's no doubt that she's dedicated to me. When I first posted here I was hung on the differences between our churches, and I ignored our relationship with each other and with the Lord. She was never hung up on it like I was. I realized it was getting in the way of our relationship, so I had to pray that God would give me the strength to get through this and then I realized I need to let go of my right to understand. Sometimes I have a hard time with that (maybe I am just getting set in my ways). We have prayed a lot together, and those times are really sweet and powerful.

Some of you have given your opinion of our relationship based on what little I wrote here. That's fine, but it appears that a lot has been ASS-U-ME-d I kept things brief as to not go down any rabbit holes and to not share too many personal things.

Thanks everyone for your feedback!

[awareness]

Congratulation brother. All the happiness in the world for you and her. Love never fails.

[HERn]

Originally Posted by jmar

After lots of praying and speaking with my counselor, I have decided to proceed with our relationship. She is dedicated to me and to the Lord and is not so "bound" to the LC as others are....

Quick question. Has she decided on the venue of the wedding, and the role her LC elders will play?

Best,
HERn

[awareness]

Originally Posted by HERn

Quick question. Has she decided on the venue of the wedding, and the role her LC elders will play?

Best,
HERn

Good question HERn. Two couples got married at my wedding. So families from both families came to our double wedding.

There wasn't any traditional marriage ceremonies. I wasn't in control, my marriage had been arranged by elders from two different localities.

So unbeknownst to me, it was determined beforehand, by the elders, to be a 'gospel' meeting, to try to win over family members attending the marriage of their children.

The families were aghast. I felt double-crossed, but I just got married, and had little choice but to let it slide.

Let's hope jmar doesn't allow himself to fall into something like that, and doesn't hold his wedding at the local church.

But it seems to me that jmar and his bride to be are being reasonable about this wedding. I hope it's showered with blessings.

[jmar]

Originally Posted by HERn

Quick question. Has she decided on the venue of the wedding, and the role her LC elders will play?

Best,
HERn

We're thinking to have a small ceremony with family and friends, and it won't be at the LC. We're not sure who will officiate yet, but my neighbor is one option (he's got the license or whatever it is).

[Ohio]

Originally Posted by jmar

We're thinking to have a small ceremony with family and friends, and it won't be at the LC. We're not sure who will officiate yet, but my neighbor is one option (he's got the license or whatever it is).

The Lord bless you and keep you, and fill your marriage with all joy and peace!

[awareness]

Originally Posted by Ohio

The Lord bless you and keep you, and fill your marriage with all joy and peace!

Amen to that ...

[HERn]

Originally Posted by jmar

We're thinking to have a small ceremony with family and friends, and it won't be at the LC. We're not sure who will officiate yet, but my neighbor is one option (he's got the license or whatever it is).

For what it's worth this sounds very healthy to me. Do you feel safe inviting any of your pastors to help officiate?

[jmar]

Originally Posted by HERn

For what it's worth this sounds very healthy to me. Do you feel safe inviting any of your pastors to help officiate?

She has not mentioned anyone from the LC, and where I go there are several different ones. I don't know any of them on a personal level since it's a big church. She doesn't know too many people in the LC since she's only been going to that particular one for <2 years. A couple of guys from my men's group got married a couple of years ago. I will check with them.

[HERn]

Originally Posted by jmar

She has not mentioned anyone from the LC, and where I go there are several different ones. I don't know any of them on a personal level since it's a big church. She doesn't know too many people in the LC since she's only been going to that particular one for <2 years. A couple of guys from my men's group got married a couple of years ago. I will check with them.

I'm in a men's group as well. We have read and discussed several books, the latest was "Men of Courage" by Dr. Larry Crabb. If possible it might be good to continue your men's group after getting married. The prayers and testimonies of other brothers might be encouraging. Also, it might be good if your new wife could get into a women's group, or both of you could get into a couples group? It might be good for both of you to have a simple morning devotion together like "Our Daily Bread" where you can talk and pray together over scripture and a short devotional passage.

Here's a link. https://secure.ourdailybread.org/odb/signup/#start

[jmar]

She's only interested in attending the LC home meetings as far as I know. I couldn't see us attending LC home meeting, men's group meeting, and another couple's meeting. I have hoped there could be some spiritual things we could share together, but to be honest I am not the best when it comes to reading every day. I could try daily bread again. I tried it back in college but got bored of it. I felt the devotionals were too short. My men's group fizzled out, but I'm planning to get into another one.