My testimony

[Robert]

Hi, there!
I was raised in CC. Before my 18th birthday I was empty and hopeless enough to try to commit suicide. I was thinking about how to escape from this world. When I was 18 some friends invited me to a Christians meeting in a theatre. The Living Gospel reached me there. However, what I knew of the whole story about Jesus till that day was only knowledge. The friend who invited me brought me to Pentecostal church were I grew up a little. I was happy and innocent child enjoying meetings with my spiritual family. Everything was fine until my first fall in faith. I was in darkness and sick. I realized that until I "go to church" they have contact with me. But when I stop then I can die at home and nobody will even be bothered. After 2 years of crazy and beautiful time with fresh believers ready to turn the world up side down ( I was driving also to other cities, talking and praying until the next day 1,2 or 3.00 AM!). The Holy Spirit was guiding many of us. It was wonderful time! Then, in 1993 some believers ordered booklets of Watchmen Nee and Witness Lee. We were drawn by a vision of the unique oneness over division and denominations.

I had a vital contact with those brothers and sisters. That was live! Visiting homes, sharing , prayers, cakes and tea! There was no such a thing In Pentecostal Church or very seldom.
I remember first meeting with saint who already started practice of calling the name our Lord. I was sitting in small room with 25 people calling and repeating like mantra: "Oh, Lord Jesus!" many times. It was strange but I was open and decided to stand it and see how fellowship will develop. I remember like brother was reading me ministry and I was so simply and naïve. The atmosphere was very good and friendly. That was what I missed reading the Bible! Normal Christian life!!! I started reading books. I've read a lot! I found a lot of my experience there. I was happy that some wrote about my spiritual experiences. That was good. Later conferences, meetings, camps, conferences, meetings and camps... And everything would be good if not for... a lack of reality!

After years of trainings and conferences some brothers and sisters spontaneously started meetings at hotel rooms during messages. Some chairs was empty. I was more than happy to join any meeting in room. Love, sharing, prayers instead of deadly speaking. I started to see again a thin line between life and religion. Shouting so called truths, waving fists and proclaiming this or that as good old communist fellows. It was not rebellion at all! It was life! Nobody put in doubt any teaching! It was hunger of live! Spiritual reality and love among members!

I had full respect to brothers especially leading ones who arrange conference. When I called to one of them I shared my burden hoping He will understand and push forward. How surprised I was when his voice in phone was change and I felt strange spirit rebuking me. He said that my speech is strange I do not talk the same language (???) and we will come to this later. And ok. He was in his city and I was in mine. After few years he came to my house with lovely brother who really in the beginning was following life. I as also surprised that this brother instead of growing in Life empathy and Love was more interested in "proper" church life. His ears were closed. I felt undescribed conspiracy of kind of system.

So year after year the bad fruit was growing and growing. Sisters were divorcing their Christian husbands. Sin accepted. We cut off ourselves from Christianity. I was sober spiritually enough to follow Life. I was open to meet with other Christians. Year after year something in our locality was dying. Except certain days nobody was interested what happen to others, no visits. I could ask and invite many times. It started to remind me PC from my beginning. Jealousy, rumors, gossiping and simply hypocrisy! Sisters encouraging others to divorce. Brothers calling to other cities warning to not receive certain brothers because they could not deal with them as man with man or brother with brother in front of the Lord!!!

I apologize all of You dear saints I mentioned this in my testimony. But this is the most painful part of my Christian life that people who we are supposed to take classes from to learn the Bible: How to deal with the flesh, with jealousy, anger, yet they started to live double lives. Talk, talk and talk!!!! I have had enough of these high pick revelations, while they could not graduate from kindergarten even primary school! Resuming: I met them when I was 20. I spent with them over 20 years of mature life. The Lord Jesus is faithful and is still leading me, or at least I have learned how to be led by Him.

I know many other ministries where man is not the focus, not glorified. This cult named as Lord's Recovery is the best masterpiece of Satan. Why? Because it is composed of honest believers with really good teaching. But! Whatever they say, the spirit is not the Holly Spirit! The main work of the Holly spirit is to glorify Jesus. In the Local Church when you do not obey in blind way to people you risk God's Wrath! They depend so much on others that many of them have no experience of Jesus at all! I met even few people that I dare to doubt were saved!

Few more words about me. I use to work with hands. So for me solving problems is like 2+2=4. It is not the point to have perfect church life! Do not understand me wrongly! I am old enough to search my own heart before the Lord instead of judging others. But because we are fallen and we make mistakes God gave as some letters to teach us how to deal with problems. If certain brother offended You then go to others and tell everybody how mad You are and how stupid he is... Oh, sorry! Bad translation of the Bible! I think somewhere exist such a... No! Go to this brother and clear out and pray and forgive and ask for forgiveness! I am not going to quote all NT Jesus's ministry.

Ok. that is enough for now. I am sad but trust the Lord that He can wake them up. I have read the Bible almost 30 years. And I can testify that only (ONLY!) Word of God was able to lift me up from valley of death. God showed me so many things that even I can not express them here. He is merciful and want have me on His own. Sola Scriptura! There is Lord Jesus in His Spirit! God bless You all and thanks for being patient .

Robert
Post scriptum: English is not my mother language.
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