Wow, What Did I Grow Up In?

The last 12 hours have been a bit of a rambling rabbit hole for me, so please forgive the caffeine induced tangents.

I grew up as a CK in the New England Local Churches. My mother and father came into the Local Churches in their 20's, met each other in RI, and married in the early 80's. That was enough information for some of you to guess who I am. Yes, I have a few siblings.

My father was an elder for a period of time. I really can't fault my parents for how they raised me. Afterall, I've met their parents and as a 34 year old, I can now appreciate a number of decisions they made. However, I would not raise my kid the way many people did in the LC's during the 90's.

I was not raised in abuse, but being a Christian shouldn't feel like a life and death situation everyday. Memorizing verses, praying the right way, fitting every damn meeting in my schedule, and etc. all felt soooo important. If you let down the LC, it was like letting down God. As a child I felt like I was under constant scrutiny. As an adult, I felt like I was performing which made me question some of the true experiences of God I was having.

But what really kills me (and I'll never understand why I didn't leave sooner) is how women are/were treated. I don't know why I wasn't bothered before, but the way gender roles are assigned; how sisters are addressed; messages on sisters being more susceptible to gossip, manipulation, lies, emotions; and sitting in the second row.....there's sooo much. SERIOUSLY. How is the sexism so tangible and obvious, yet we never ever talk about it as a church?

I can't even begin to deal with how we've talked about LGBTQ. More perplexing (as of late) has been how leading brothers are keen on "understanding an eye on the world situation," but are quick to ignore national issues that effect many saints.

Still, the sexism is such a huge problem. I'm horrified that I didn't notice it sooner. I'm frightened about the people who may have been abused, assaulted, harmed, and subsequently ignored because of the practice of "covering the brothers."

We really need to talk about that.

I spent the last few hours reading about the "rebellions" in the local churches. They really did not represent that accurately to us. It was always some saints going way of biblical script or trying to "puff themselves up." Or they were somehow ambitious.

Reading the other side of that discussion, it's kind of obvious that there was a lot of "covering" happening.

I'm emotionally exhausted for today. Thank you to everyone who has come forward and shared their stories over the past few years. Speaking up about the LC is never easy. It's almost always followed by a discrediting campaign.

If you're an east coast former church kid that wants to chat and catch up, I'm all for it.