Open Letter to Saints in The Local Churches - Andrea McArdle

[UntoHim]

As Posted on GoogleDocs.Com

Dear saints of the local churches,

After listening to the special fellowship from this past semi annual training (July 2019), I am compelled to respond. During this message, Chris Wilde spoke about ‘covering the brothers’ and he claimed that “if any failure crosses the line and endangers children or breaks a law, they will bring the full authority of the law”. He assures the saints that is being done and has been done. But in my own experience while meeting in Houston Texas that is not the case. I was asked to cover up a sexual abuse at the Local Church in Houston Texas.

While meeting with the Church in Houston I was close to a 'new one' off the college campus work. He eagerly came to the meetings and was quickly accepted into our tight knit group of young people. He told me many times about a middle-aged brother who was his prayer and morning revival partner. About a year after the young brother entered the Church in Houston, he came to me and another college age brother one Sunday night visibly distraught. After asking him what was the matter, he broke down and told us that the night before he woke up to find his prayer partner, the older ‘brother’ sexually assaulting him. The details of that assault are not mine to tell, but the image of him curled up in the doorway weeping is seared into my memory.

I told him to go to the elders. Being raised in the church, I had full confidence that the elders would know how to take care of the situation. I’m ashamed now that my first thought had not been to contact the police. But I knew in a very deep and perhaps subconscious way that the church handled all matters internally.

After the next Lord's table meeting I was approached by an elder, Alan Bayes, with another elder standing near. Alan Bayes told me that what happened to that young brother was terrible, and that they handled the situation by confronting the perpetrator and telling him he was no longer allowed in Young Peoples’ Meetings. I was told that he and the other elder were taking care of this matter. (I will leave out his name because he and I had no direct contact about this incident.)

I didn’t question if they were doing anything wrong by not contacting the police. Alan explained to me why it was very important not to ever tell anyone about this, and asked me to “cover the brother.” I nodded my head in agreement, and have kept that promise until now. Growing up in “The Lord’s Recovery” I had heard the term 'covering the brothers' many times and knew it was essential for keeping the saints protected, and for not letting “germs” spread.

The elders did not call the police and they did not recommend therapy of any kind. Growing up in the Local Churches, we were taught that mental health professionals are in the “wrong realm” and that they would not understand those of us who have the “high truths.” This mistrust of psychiatry was verbally conveyed in meetings by leading brothers over the years, and is written in the books of ‘The Ministry.’ In a similar way that the victim was groomed by his “prayer partner” for sexual abuse, I had been groomed by the Local Churches to be complicit in covering up a perpertrator’s action.

I moved away from Houston soon after this event, and the brother who was assaulted quit meeting with The Church. A couple of years later, I found out that the perpetrator was back in the Young Peoples’ Meetings, apparently his removal never being enforced to begin with. The perpetrator is still meeting today.

In the years since this incident I’ve learned about rape culture, sexual grooming, and the dangers of keeping silent. I realize now how damaging and perpetuating the concept of 'covering the brothers' is. It is because of this concept that predators within churches are able to continue to abuse children and young people for years. The Church should be a place where members are intrinsically valued. One would think that the safety of all members would be a priority.

By advocating that we cover the brothers, and refusing to report alleged crimes, elders have allowed physical, sexual, emotional, and mental trauma to fester in The Local Churches. Victims of abuse who meet with the Lord’s Recovery, become caught in a catch-22. We’ve all been told that “building the body” is the only way to “overcome” and “get the kingdom reward.” However, victims know that each time they go to a meeting, they might see their abuser. Not only will this prevent healing from the initial attack, this can create additional traumas that may lead to PTSD, anxiety, depression etc.

The perpetrator in The Church in Houston has maintained access to countless children and young people. He may have continued to abuse. I have to live with these facts. The way this situation was handled should be deeply distressing to all of us. And it’s not unique. Being asked to cover up a sexual assault helped me to see the ugly facts behind the “church-life.”

I want to be clear; my response, contrary to what was claimed in the aforementioned meeting as well as in message 8 from Ron Kangas, is not out of a rebellion from God or a desire to rebel against any “deputy authority.” I have not been meeting with the local churches since 2009 and have found great peace out of the “Lord’s Recovery.” This is not rebellion, rather a call to action. It matters to me that this community, with so many I love in it, is a safe place.

My call to elders and leading brothers is to stop deflecting from your responsibility. Elders not only have a responsibility to keep the rest of the body safe from predators, they also have a responsibility to the rest of society. When abuse goes unreported to the police, predators are able to repeat the abuse over and over again without a criminal record.

Eventually, like in my situation, The Church is more than likely to lose the abused and anyone asked to cover it up, and will hold on to the abuser. Is this what you want, dear members of the body? Is there no remorse in the elders in Houston for choosing a sexual predator over protecting us?

Elders and co-workers nation-wide need to admit that there is a lack of policies and protections. They should admit that they have helped to foster a culture of abuse. Are church leaders willing to communicate transparently with law enforcement going forward? Will they partner with and listen to specialists to put forward a cohesive policy that prevents continued abuse in the church, especially against young people and children? Are leaders ready to believe survivors? Most importantly, are the elders ready to end the practice of 'covering the brothers'? ‘Covering the brothers’ is tantamount to hiding abuse, and this unhealthy practice leaves survivors to fend for themselves. The church life is not like Disneyland, abuse happens everywhere. My concern though, is how it is handled.

This situation was mishandled. But events like this are not uncommon. I urge you, dear reader, to ask around. I’ve talked with other church kids and heard dozens of unique instances of serious abuse, along with cover-ups and leadership inaction. Some of these events are ongoing and very recent. Abuse happens everywhere, but environments with unequal power dynamics are especially prone to fostering abusive behavior.

Some might try to deflect responsibility by arguing that The Local Churches are an “Organism and not an Organization.” In fact The Church is an organization. Each locality is a 501(c)(3) not for profit organization. Any organization that claims millions of members (as they did in the Special Fellowship), should have a procedure in place for abuse for every locality follow. Church Life standards and practices should be at least as rigorous as the rest of society. Even the Catholic Church has new laws to keep abuse allegations and their handling transparent. If The Local Church claims that it is “God’s move on the earth today” it can do the same.

I do not name Alan Bayes in Houston because he is a terrible person. Quite the contrary, I have been helped by him numerous times and have admiration and respect for him in many ways. However, the elders and co-working brothers have a responsibility to their localities. All of the elders, co-workers and leading brothers who know of abuse and covered it up need to be held accountable. A new standard operating procedure for dealing with current and future cases must be adopted.

I encourage any member of the Local Churches who survived abuse of any kind, or who have seen such coverups to speak out, even if you do so anonymously. Severe transgressions are being “covered” up. Abuse happens between “serving ones” and young people; between parents and children; and between husbands and wives. Elders in the Local Churches can and must do something to protect those who are vulnerable.

I personally know the pain of being in danger. In another instance, I told an elder and he did nothing about my plea for help. I want all victims to know that I see you, and that your story matters. If you would like to make your story public, please feel free to contact me if you need help. My heart is for you and you are worthy. Together, and even if you choose to remain anonymous, we will advocate for much needed changes and transparency.

Ephesians 5:11
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them

1 Tim 5:20
But those elders who are sinning you are to reprove before everyone, so that the others may take warning.

The truth will set me free,
Andrea McArdle
andrea.mcardle@gmail.com

Meetings I reference:
Special fellowship mtg:
http://livingtohim.com/2019/07/speci...nual-training/

Message 8 Ron Kangas
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=l1MMmy...ZHrWTseb8KRpq9

Jo's letter:
http://bit.ly/JoFBPostLeavingRecovery