Forgiveness

Trapped · 10-21-2018, 12:18 AM

There is a lot I could say on this topic but will put down a few thoughts to start. In all my general examples I am referring to regular daily relationships with people/friends/Christians, rather than, say, a special one with a spouse. "Damage" or "hurt" spoken of is the deep wounds that inescapably occur in typical human life with fallen, proud, screwed up people (as opposed to physical abuse or anything truly serious like that).

1. 70 x 7. Lee states that 490 is a large enough number that the point is you will have lost count well before you get to it. I realized a month or so ago that 490, while large, is still a finite number. If it was supposed to be essentially infinite, that would have been very easy to state, and 70 x 7 just doesn't equal "infinite" or "boundless" for me.

2. In the LC I grew up under the thought that if someone hurts you and asks for forgiveness, and if you don't forgive them and can't let it go, then you (the one who is hurt) is the one who sins, and the one who hurt you is released and can go on with their life because they apologized and that's all that's expected of them. This has turned out to be a very difficult thing for me with many saints who think "I'm sorry" is enough to undo and erase their prolonged intentional belittling or disregarding, without their putting in the effort to make up for what they've said or undo the multifaceted damage they've done. Is this thought true?

3. I understand we are to forgive as our heavenly Father forgave. However, He forgives when we acknowledge/repent and confess, right? He doesn't forgive what we don't confess. How does this play out when you have people who have knowingly and intentionally hurt you and do not care or their "confession" is clearly not genuine? Are we still asked to forgive then? If yes, as I mentioned, then are we forgiven by the Lord for things we don't confess? If not, how could we then be held to a higher standard than even God if we are expected to do that?

4. On the cross Jesus prayed to the Father to forgive them because they know not what they are doing. This seems to be an example of Jesus forgiving ones who have not asked for it or repented. Are we expected to do the same to that level, and if so, where is that stated in the Bible?

5. Is there any example in the Bible of forgiveness but a change in relationship? The thing I struggle with the most is forgiving and then being expected to return to a heavily damaged relationship as if nothing had happened. Often times the relationship is so permanently changed and damaged, that forgiveness is one thing but what to do about the relationship going forward is completely another. Yes, I know to pray for the ones who have hurt me, yes I know we are to bless our enemies, but to be honest doing those things has never changed my heart towards them.

10-21-2018, 12:18 AM	#1
Trapped Member Join Date: Mar 2018 Posts: 1,523	Forgiveness There is a lot I could say on this topic but will put down a few thoughts to start. In all my general examples I am referring to regular daily relationships with people/friends/Christians, rather than, say, a special one with a spouse. "Damage" or "hurt" spoken of is the deep wounds that inescapably occur in typical human life with fallen, proud, screwed up people (as opposed to physical abuse or anything truly serious like that). 1. 70 x 7. Lee states that 490 is a large enough number that the point is you will have lost count well before you get to it. I realized a month or so ago that 490, while large, is still a finite number. If it was supposed to be essentially infinite, that would have been very easy to state, and 70 x 7 just doesn't equal "infinite" or "boundless" for me. 2. In the LC I grew up under the thought that if someone hurts you and asks for forgiveness, and if you don't forgive them and can't let it go, then you (the one who is hurt) is the one who sins, and the one who hurt you is released and can go on with their life because they apologized and that's all that's expected of them. This has turned out to be a very difficult thing for me with many saints who think "I'm sorry" is enough to undo and erase their prolonged intentional belittling or disregarding, without their putting in the effort to make up for what they've said or undo the multifaceted damage they've done. Is this thought true? 3. I understand we are to forgive as our heavenly Father forgave. However, He forgives when we acknowledge/repent and confess, right? He doesn't forgive what we don't confess. How does this play out when you have people who have knowingly and intentionally hurt you and do not care or their "confession" is clearly not genuine? Are we still asked to forgive then? If yes, as I mentioned, then are we forgiven by the Lord for things we don't confess? If not, how could we then be held to a higher standard than even God if we are expected to do that? 4. On the cross Jesus prayed to the Father to forgive them because they know not what they are doing. This seems to be an example of Jesus forgiving ones who have not asked for it or repented. Are we expected to do the same to that level, and if so, where is that stated in the Bible? 5. Is there any example in the Bible of forgiveness but a change in relationship? The thing I struggle with the most is forgiving and then being expected to return to a heavily damaged relationship as if nothing had happened. Often times the relationship is so permanently changed and damaged, that forgiveness is one thing but what to do about the relationship going forward is completely another. Yes, I know to pray for the ones who have hurt me, yes I know we are to bless our enemies, but to be honest doing those things has never changed my heart towards them.