Wives taking husband's last name

Trapped · 08-07-2018, 11:36 PM

A while back there was an elder who performed a wedding ceremony of some young, relatively new saints in the LC. The elder did not know until right before the ceremony that this couple planned for the wife not to take the husband's last name. As a result, the elder intentionally did not announce them in the typical way after the "I do's" were said (I can't recall if he did not say "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" or if he did not say "husband and wife"...I believe it was the former). He said later in private conversation that he was unhappy with the situation and going forward he was going to make it a point to ask couples before he agreed to perform their wedding ceremony if the wife intended to take the husband's last name. He did not state it explicitly, but the implication seemed to be that he would not agree to participate otherwise. He then pointed to "the two shall become one flesh" as the reason for his position.

To be honest this question never occurred to me before that point, but his staunch refusal to participate got me thinking. I've been back-burnering it for a while until now but several things have come to my mind.

In support of keeping separate names:

1. The verse says "become one flesh" not "become one name"
2. The more I thought about it the more I realized that the wife taking the last name is not actually in the Bible; I am not aware that it is explicitly stated or described in any Bible story
3. I believe it is more cultural than anything. I know many Chinese or Korean couples in the church in which the wife keeps her last name. To my knowledge I don't think anyone considers them less married than anyone else.
4. If marriage is a picture of Christ and the church, it is still "Christ and the church" .... I've never seen a verse that says or implies "Mr. and Mrs. Christ"

It surprises myself that I came up with that many.

In support of the wife changing her name:

1. Wives are to submit to their husbands (although one verse says the man shall leave his parents and cleave to his wife....which doesn't paint as strong a picture); not taking the last name shows a predetermined desire to be independent from the husband
2. Yikes......I can't actually think of anything else Biblically related, even though I myself am generally stronger in support of wives taking their husband's name.

Has anyone thought about or discussed this before? Does anyone have additional points for either stance? If you want to relate it to the LC's you can, but I don't think the LC does anything particular or unusual in this matter compared to other believers, although I have been in just a handful of non-LC weddings myself. Any thoughts are appreciated.

08-07-2018, 11:36 PM	#1
Trapped Member Join Date: Mar 2018 Posts: 1,523	Wives taking husband's last name A while back there was an elder who performed a wedding ceremony of some young, relatively new saints in the LC. The elder did not know until right before the ceremony that this couple planned for the wife not to take the husband's last name. As a result, the elder intentionally did not announce them in the typical way after the "I do's" were said (I can't recall if he did not say "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" or if he did not say "husband and wife"...I believe it was the former). He said later in private conversation that he was unhappy with the situation and going forward he was going to make it a point to ask couples before he agreed to perform their wedding ceremony if the wife intended to take the husband's last name. He did not state it explicitly, but the implication seemed to be that he would not agree to participate otherwise. He then pointed to "the two shall become one flesh" as the reason for his position. To be honest this question never occurred to me before that point, but his staunch refusal to participate got me thinking. I've been back-burnering it for a while until now but several things have come to my mind. In support of keeping separate names: 1. The verse says "become one flesh" not "become one name" 2. The more I thought about it the more I realized that the wife taking the last name is not actually in the Bible; I am not aware that it is explicitly stated or described in any Bible story 3. I believe it is more cultural than anything. I know many Chinese or Korean couples in the church in which the wife keeps her last name. To my knowledge I don't think anyone considers them less married than anyone else. 4. If marriage is a picture of Christ and the church, it is still "Christ and the church" .... I've never seen a verse that says or implies "Mr. and Mrs. Christ" It surprises myself that I came up with that many. In support of the wife changing her name: 1. Wives are to submit to their husbands (although one verse says the man shall leave his parents and cleave to his wife....which doesn't paint as strong a picture); not taking the last name shows a predetermined desire to be independent from the husband 2. Yikes......I can't actually think of anything else Biblically related, even though I myself am generally stronger in support of wives taking their husband's name. Has anyone thought about or discussed this before? Does anyone have additional points for either stance? If you want to relate it to the LC's you can, but I don't think the LC does anything particular or unusual in this matter compared to other believers, although I have been in just a handful of non-LC weddings myself. Any thoughts are appreciated.