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Extras! Extras! Read All About It! Everything else that doesn't seem to fit anywhere else |
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06-13-2017, 04:51 PM | #1 |
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 510
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How do I know if I found the one true church?
1. Make sure this church is located in a city and has created a 501c3 organization that follows the naming scheme “The Church in (insert city name)”. Does it follow a different naming scheme? – NOT the one true church.
2. Make sure that this church is affiliated with the Living Stream Ministry, Witness Lee, and the blended brothers. Vague awareness of the LSM or an informal relationship to the LSM is unacceptable and that church would NOT be considered the one true church. 3. Propagating LSM literature within and outside the church is a must. Morning revival, Recovery version bibles, LSM hymnal, Witness Lee books MUST be sold on site. Only exception to the rule – Watchman Nee literature may also be sold. 4. Members will only read from LSM material. If a member ventures away from pre-approved reading, that person must be shamed and made to feel like they failed the Church and their God. Furthermore, if a member does not keep a library of at least 10 pre-approved books – they must be shamed accordingly. The more books you own the better. All e-books purchased must be accompanied by the corresponding paper or hardback purchase. 5. Each member will attend at least 3 meetings per week. Including 2 meetings on the Lord’s day. 6. Members will never use the word “Sunday”. 7. Members will never admit, under any circumstances, that their church is a denomination. Denominations are bad and cannot be part of the one true church. 8. Slandering other Christ followers and making self-righteous accusations must happen anytime two or more gather. 9. You will sense a spirit of confusion. Members must lead one another to ignore these feelings. When in doubt, quote the morning revival, Witness Lee, or at the very least say something “spiritual”. 10. Members learn the lingo – and repeat it often. The more cliché statements the better. When in doubt always default to “O Lord Jesus” 11. Members hold one another accountable for approving of any and all statements that follow the LSM doctrine. The use of “Amen” is the most appropriate response. 12. Members will overuse and accidentally misuse “Amen”. Disregard immediately, they were likely in their flesh. 13. All members must keep a superficial, surface level relationship with one another. This keeps things simple and neat. No mess. 14. Members must attend at least one “training” per year, preferably in Anaheim. Showing slight disapproval for those who do not attend is appropriate. 15. Members will learn and live the dress code. 16. It is highly preferred that you begin to speak using the same cadence and tonality as the other members. This is NOT a requirement, but is directly correlated to your standing before the Lord. What else did I miss?
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Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. |
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