My Local Church Experience - And My Testimony

DistantStar · 08-18-2016, 05:49 AM

I was born with a cleft lip and palate 20 years ago and I speak Afrikaans and English, and I've learnt the basics of Spanish. I've always been a "christian" and my family are all dedicated believers as well. I've always tried to do what is right and I often read my bible. But I was not saved.

By 14 and 15 years two things happened. The first was that I got addicted to ponography and, secondly, (although now I see this theory as very funny and absurd) I started to read about Ancient Astronaut theory and how some things in the Bible can be explained as spaceships or whatever. So I just started to doubt.

Eventually I got over the ponography, but something strange followed. Every time I closed my eyes to pray, I couldn't because my mind would immediately be filled with sexual thoughts. Not thoughts that I wanted, but thoughts that nevertheless came. Like being stuck on a single TV channel and you don't have the remote. So I couldn't pray.

The next year, before I became 16, my family and I went to a reenactment of the death of Jesus for an Easter celebration at a very big church. Afterwards as we sat the pastor called for people to give their lives to Christ by raising our hands as we prayed. It was very difficult - especially in front of my family - to raise my hand and then to go to the front.

This time as all of us who went forward prayed, I could feel those evil thoughts wanting to cloud my mind, but they could not. Not anymore. That was the first time I've prayed with a clean mind in months.

This in short is my testimony.

Now for the Local Church. Last year, at 19, I went to a South African university to study International Relations. I'm currently in my second year. In the first week of varsity a guy asked my to join a Christian society on campus. As I was a Christian and in the mood to meet new people (especially as I felt alone) I signed up.

They have a slightly strange way of holding "church" and I don't know if any of you experienced something similar. During the week we would meet in small groups, 3 or 4 people, to do a reading of a part of the Bible. Last year we did Ephesians. Then on Thursdays everyone would gather together at fairly large room. There we would first sing songs, and then everyone who wanted would share what they learnt during the week.

I noticed a few strange things. The first was their use of the Recovery Version of the Bible. I'd never heard of it before. Later on I discovered that Watchman Nee (as far as I know) wrote it. He also wrote, or compiled, the song book we used. Furthermore, as we gathered for the small groups we would not only read a portion of scripture, but also the commentaries left by Watchman Nee (or is it Witness Lee) which is found in the Recovery Version.

Very odd. But nonetheless they were all great people and I do believe that they are saved.

During this time I've noticed their distaste for other churches. Not in a mean way, but slightly in a condescending way. I remember one of them saying that we should not be broken into denominations, and he implied that those churches that are denominational have somehow lost their way. I found this really hypocritical. I thought, by making an "us vs them" distinction, this society is, in effect, making a denomination.

This year I began to notice something else which I find very disturbing, and which I think all Christians should always be wary of: more than once someone in that society, in one way or another, compared us with God. For instance, this year before I left I had a discussion with two people from that society. They told me about how, when we pray, we become Christ. Now I understand their point, but this is dangerous. I also remember another time last year how someone said that we are "In a sense, little gods". Like always they have some slightly convincing meaning to this, but still disturbing.

It was this deification - however subtle - which drove me away.

I began to think how obsessed they are with Watchman Nee. Once, last year, I went over to a friend who works for them. He had a bookcase of probably more than 40 of Watchman Nee's books (or Witness Lee's - I keep confusing them). At the time I just thought him very captivated by the Nee's work. I understand people taking a liking to certain authors. But later on I began to notice this trend. This trend of only reading Lee's bible, Lee's commentary, Lee's books, etc.

No C. S. Lewis, no modern apologetics, no nothing.

While all of this was in my head, the guy in charge of my small group missed some of our meetings, and this was followed by a busy schedule of mine. So eventually I stopped going to the small meetings and later on the bigger gathering.

I have a bit more to say about the Bible version they use and how I discussed it with him, but I feel like I've said enough.

Thanks for your time. I'd like to hear responses.

08-18-2016, 05:49 AM	#1
DistantStar Member Join Date: Aug 2016 Location: South Africa Posts: 127	My Local Church Experience - And My Testimony I was born with a cleft lip and palate 20 years ago and I speak Afrikaans and English, and I've learnt the basics of Spanish. I've always been a "christian" and my family are all dedicated believers as well. I've always tried to do what is right and I often read my bible. But I was not saved. By 14 and 15 years two things happened. The first was that I got addicted to ponography and, secondly, (although now I see this theory as very funny and absurd) I started to read about Ancient Astronaut theory and how some things in the Bible can be explained as spaceships or whatever. So I just started to doubt. Eventually I got over the ponography, but something strange followed. Every time I closed my eyes to pray, I couldn't because my mind would immediately be filled with sexual thoughts. Not thoughts that I wanted, but thoughts that nevertheless came. Like being stuck on a single TV channel and you don't have the remote. So I couldn't pray. The next year, before I became 16, my family and I went to a reenactment of the death of Jesus for an Easter celebration at a very big church. Afterwards as we sat the pastor called for people to give their lives to Christ by raising our hands as we prayed. It was very difficult - especially in front of my family - to raise my hand and then to go to the front. This time as all of us who went forward prayed, I could feel those evil thoughts wanting to cloud my mind, but they could not. Not anymore. That was the first time I've prayed with a clean mind in months. This in short is my testimony. Now for the Local Church. Last year, at 19, I went to a South African university to study International Relations. I'm currently in my second year. In the first week of varsity a guy asked my to join a Christian society on campus. As I was a Christian and in the mood to meet new people (especially as I felt alone) I signed up. They have a slightly strange way of holding "church" and I don't know if any of you experienced something similar. During the week we would meet in small groups, 3 or 4 people, to do a reading of a part of the Bible. Last year we did Ephesians. Then on Thursdays everyone would gather together at fairly large room. There we would first sing songs, and then everyone who wanted would share what they learnt during the week. I noticed a few strange things. The first was their use of the Recovery Version of the Bible. I'd never heard of it before. Later on I discovered that Watchman Nee (as far as I know) wrote it. He also wrote, or compiled, the song book we used. Furthermore, as we gathered for the small groups we would not only read a portion of scripture, but also the commentaries left by Watchman Nee (or is it Witness Lee) which is found in the Recovery Version. Very odd. But nonetheless they were all great people and I do believe that they are saved. During this time I've noticed their distaste for other churches. Not in a mean way, but slightly in a condescending way. I remember one of them saying that we should not be broken into denominations, and he implied that those churches that are denominational have somehow lost their way. I found this really hypocritical. I thought, by making an "us vs them" distinction, this society is, in effect, making a denomination. This year I began to notice something else which I find very disturbing, and which I think all Christians should always be wary of: more than once someone in that society, in one way or another, compared us with God. For instance, this year before I left I had a discussion with two people from that society. They told me about how, when we pray, we become Christ. Now I understand their point, but this is dangerous. I also remember another time last year how someone said that we are "In a sense, little gods". Like always they have some slightly convincing meaning to this, but still disturbing. It was this deification - however subtle - which drove me away. I began to think how obsessed they are with Watchman Nee. Once, last year, I went over to a friend who works for them. He had a bookcase of probably more than 40 of Watchman Nee's books (or Witness Lee's - I keep confusing them). At the time I just thought him very captivated by the Nee's work. I understand people taking a liking to certain authors. But later on I began to notice this trend. This trend of only reading Lee's bible, Lee's commentary, Lee's books, etc. No C. S. Lewis, no modern apologetics, no nothing. While all of this was in my head, the guy in charge of my small group missed some of our meetings, and this was followed by a busy schedule of mine. So eventually I stopped going to the small meetings and later on the bigger gathering. I have a bit more to say about the Bible version they use and how I discussed it with him, but I feel like I've said enough. Thanks for your time. I'd like to hear responses.