Trapped... Help?

Unsure · 08-04-2015, 08:28 AM

Hello,

My name is Vincent. For all of the seventeen years of my life, I have been raised in the Lord's Recovery. I was surrounded by people immersed in the teachings of Witness Lee before I could walk, and had them drilled into my head ever since I was baptized five years ago. Up until about a year prior, I had accepted the Recovery as the highest way and dreamed of being an overcomer in the way Lee had described it.

Now? I. Want. Out.

And I want nothing to do with its members ever again.

However, I am currently ill-equipped to leave the flock of Witness Lee behind (The earliest I can even dream of saying goodbye to the LC is when I get into University next year... Which would involve a lot of loans). As such, unless a miracle occurs and I somehow move out of the house, I am stuck with my fanatically LC-loyal mother for at least 365 days (my father... I'm not sure where he stands anymore. He stopped going to the Sunday meetings five years ago and has been having a mid-life crisis recently). As such, I have been pretending to drink the Kool-Aid like a good little boy, all the while resisting the urge to projectile vomiting it in the face of the serving one feeding me it, smashing the bottle, and flipping the table being used to serve it (to use a... Questionably phrased metaphor). In the meanwhile, I have been collecting information on the LC's past (things like Daystar, the Lee family, etc) but that only really serves to help my case when the time I can actually leave arises. Before that, all I can do is bide my time...

But having struggled with controlling my anger all my life, I'm not sure how much longer I can wait before I lash out at the LC and do something very stupid.

Help? What should I do?

08-04-2015, 08:28 AM	#1
Unsure Member Join Date: Aug 2015 Posts: 38	Trapped... Help? Hello, My name is Vincent. For all of the seventeen years of my life, I have been raised in the Lord's Recovery. I was surrounded by people immersed in the teachings of Witness Lee before I could walk, and had them drilled into my head ever since I was baptized five years ago. Up until about a year prior, I had accepted the Recovery as the highest way and dreamed of being an overcomer in the way Lee had described it. Now? I. Want. Out. And I want nothing to do with its members ever again. However, I am currently ill-equipped to leave the flock of Witness Lee behind (The earliest I can even dream of saying goodbye to the LC is when I get into University next year... Which would involve a lot of loans). As such, unless a miracle occurs and I somehow move out of the house, I am stuck with my fanatically LC-loyal mother for at least 365 days (my father... I'm not sure where he stands anymore. He stopped going to the Sunday meetings five years ago and has been having a mid-life crisis recently). As such, I have been pretending to drink the Kool-Aid like a good little boy, all the while resisting the urge to projectile vomiting it in the face of the serving one feeding me it, smashing the bottle, and flipping the table being used to serve it (to use a... Questionably phrased metaphor). In the meanwhile, I have been collecting information on the LC's past (things like Daystar, the Lee family, etc) but that only really serves to help my case when the time I can actually leave arises. Before that, all I can do is bide my time... But having struggled with controlling my anger all my life, I'm not sure how much longer I can wait before I lash out at the LC and do something very stupid. Help? What should I do?