The Lord led me to...

[Peter Debelak]

This, to some extent, is a Local Church-ism. Someone's made a decision - perhaps even controversial. Their safe guard is that the "lord led them" to do such-and-such.

I have read this here recently, even by former members. And I have employed this phrase myself, even recently. But what, exactly, does it mean and what should we take from it when others evoke it?

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My great uncle was a pretty renown Lutheran Theologan. My father and he would often get into healthly debates in the early exhuberant years of my dad's salvation (1970s, early 80s). Once, when my father was pointing out a number of biblical flaws with Lutheran practice and theology, my uncle responded quite strikingly. He said, "I have become well aware of the deep flaws in the Lutheran Church as practiced." My father asked "Then why do you stay?" His response was profound:

"Because this is where God called me."

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Other men I have know have utilized "God led me so..." is very different ways. "God led me" has often been a mechanism for either stasis or manipulation of others (e.g. "The Lord isn't giving me any peace about your decision" or "The Lord led me to start a rival church to yours, utilizing your own members).

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This notion of God's calling can't be quantified or verified. And, most interesting, sometimes when his calling seems clear it is NOT CLEAR what exactly we're called to. I know a brother who was convinced he was "led by the Lord" to start a fresh new church in a new city. He and some fellows labored hard and bore fruit. But four years later he was spent was certain that the Lord wasn't behind the continuation of the church. As someone who loved him, I suggested that perhaps the Lord did call him to move to that city (since he and his wife had developed an amazing community of neighbors) and perhaps even to start the church - but not for the churches sake but for his sake, to work through the experience of passion and failure.

So there's a two-part problem, when we're "called." First, are we really led by the Lord or just our own internal workings and Christian-cultural influences about what's "supposed" to happen. Second, even if we are called (which we can't know for certain), are we certain about what it is we are, in fact, called to?

My point in this writing is not to play the skeptic and Debbie-downer. I simply relay that we don't know.

Its a simple enough realization that we all know - but which we seem to forget when, in the midst of something or other, we are "led by the Lord."

My conclusion is not to dismiss anyone. It is simply to embrace His humiliation. And assume my own humility. I don't know.

He has led me time and again. I have understood that leading WRONG time and again. I have ignored that leading time and again. But He HAS led me. My humility to listen to those I don't automatically accept is a blessing to test my presumed "leading."

Without this kind of self-doubt and humility before Him, the kind of bravado of "He led me to..." of the Local Church can become an unconscious manipulative element. Not because of ill motives, but because it is not based in personal humility.