Declining Meeting and Reading Invitations

Hello Saints,

I was born and raised in the Local Church, and I am still tied to it today as a young adult. I’ve never had any overtly bad experiences in the church, but their teachings might have subtly affected me as a person. Over the years, messages have become less touching to me, as I practically hear the same thing over and over again. Meetings in general have always been rather boring to me, and I would spend most of my time doodling on the pages of my conference pamphlets. My dad says the reason why I feel this way is because I’m not active or in my spirit because I tend to stay quiet instead of speak about my enjoyment. But I never genuinely enjoyed anything from the readings, they just left me more confused and questioning the idealisms behind them. If I do ask a question, the answers were always rather vague and just reiterating what the footnotes say or what Witness Lee wrote. So how do I tell my dad and the saints who reach out to me about upcoming meetings, conferences, and reading appointments, that I just don’t want to join them anymore? I’m afraid that if I do, I will be a ”prodigal son” case that will be discussed among the leading brothers, and then I will either be isolated, or the saints will try to make even more of an effort to hook me into meetings again. Reading appointments I especially dislike, because although it consists of fewer people, I feel like they’re only spending time with me to read the word, and not because I’m actually enjoyable to hang out with.