The Lord Called Me Out Of The Church Life

sandwichboy · 10-05-2021, 02:53 AM

I was in LR for over 18 years. I attended the full-time training in Anaheim and also the apprenticeship in Austin TX and served full-time for 4 years after that.

I received a lot of help in the LR and do not regret my time there. The Lord Himself called me out, this is the story of how that happened:

About two years ago I was reading the gospel of Matthew and was touched by the part where the Lord was busy praying in the garden of Gethsemane and his disciples kept falling asleep. He then asked them if they are not even able to watch with Him for one hour. I took this as a challenge and started praying for one hour each morning. It was hard at the beginning but became rich and enjoyable. I spent much time just soaking up the Lord's presence. Spiritually I started growing a lot. After a few months, however, I hit a wall and it felt like my growth stopped. I was concerned about this and cried out to Lord about it.

The answer came quickly and the Lord showed me the verses in the book of Philipians where Paul considered all things to be lost on account of the excellency of Christ Jesus his Lord. The Lord showed me that I treasured the knowledge of Him more than knowing Him directly. I had a sense that I needed to put everything I knew about Him on the altar in exchange for knowing the person of Jesus directly. This also included my membership to the LR. I had invested years of my life in it and had climbed the ranks. This was a very difficult thing for me to do. I was also confused why Lord would require this of me seeing that it was after all His recovery and the vessel He chose to carry out His economy. I even thought that it might be the enemy trying to trick me. After some time however I did it, I took the deal.

Immediately I felt such a heavy burden drop off me. I felt released and free and happy. The Lord became so rich and sweet to me. He really became "my Lord" and not just "the Lord". I bowed my knees and surrendered to Him. I could no longer serve anyone or anything else just the Lord Himself.

The church life actually became more enjoyable after this. I was no longer bound by it and could enjoy the Lord freely. The Lord also revealed to me that He loved me a lot and that I was not just a cog in the machine of His economy. This enabled me an even deeper surrender. I was always a bit hesitant, thinking that He only cared for His great plan and was willing to let me undergo all kinds of suffering to accomplish His purpose. Oh, how sweet it was to see the Lord in that way. It was so easy to surrender to a person that loved me and cared for me. I happily became His slave.

Somehow due to this, my temperature became a bit hot for the saints and they started to get a bit suspicious of me. At the same time, a brother that I was close to got quarantined because he felt that the ministry and Witness Lee was over exalted and that it offended the throne of Jesus. He felt that saints were not so much under the Lord's headship but were instead governed by the ministry and the system of the Lord's recovery. He voiced his feelings publicly and the brothers silenced him by sending an email to all the localities asking them to not fellowship with him anymore.

This was a concern to me. How can we remove a person from the fellowship if we are the genuine church, meeting on the ground of oneness? Not believing that WL is the minister of the age cannot be the reason for being quarantined. That would mean that the ministry and our relationship to it is the ground on which we meet and not the ground of oneness that includes all believers holding to the basic items of the faith. So that means we are a division and not practicing the genuine church life.

I wanted to know this for a fact and not just get convincing words that would sway my feeling. So I did an experiment. My hypothesis was that if I told the brothers that I no longer believed that WL is the minister of the age and they still accepted me it would confirm that we are on the proper ground. If they rejected me that would indicate that we are on a different ground.

So I deployed my hypothesis in an elder's meeting, I myself being one. I made the statement, "I no longer believe that WL is the minister of the age".

I was immediately asked to step down as an elder. For a few weeks after this, the more senior brothers desperately tried to reason with me. I asked hard questions about the ground of oneness and the ministry which they could not answer. I tried to fellowship about it with other saints and was quickly silenced myself. I thus concluded that submission to the ministry is in fact a requirement to be in a local church and thus it is not on the proper ground and that it is, in fact, a division.

This also answered a question I had for many years. Why is there hardly any blessing in the LR? If it is really God's move on the earth why is He not helping us out a bit? Should we not be seeing tremendous growth, impact, and increase instead of laboring year after year without seeing any of that. My answer to this was always that it is the Lord's move and that is why the enemy is resisting it with all his force. I no longer believe that. I now see that the problem is in fact that we do not honor the Lord's headship but instead are governed by something else.

I now clearly see that the only way to become truly living and vital is to surrender to the Throne with nothing in between. I think that the LR is like Laodicea where the Lord is standing outside the door and knocking. If you hear His voice and open to Him, He will come in and dine with you and you with Him.

Under His throne.
Your brother.

10-05-2021, 02:53 AM	#1
sandwichboy Member Join Date: Feb 2020 Posts: 3	The Lord Called Me Out Of The Church Life I was in LR for over 18 years. I attended the full-time training in Anaheim and also the apprenticeship in Austin TX and served full-time for 4 years after that. I received a lot of help in the LR and do not regret my time there. The Lord Himself called me out, this is the story of how that happened: About two years ago I was reading the gospel of Matthew and was touched by the part where the Lord was busy praying in the garden of Gethsemane and his disciples kept falling asleep. He then asked them if they are not even able to watch with Him for one hour. I took this as a challenge and started praying for one hour each morning. It was hard at the beginning but became rich and enjoyable. I spent much time just soaking up the Lord's presence. Spiritually I started growing a lot. After a few months, however, I hit a wall and it felt like my growth stopped. I was concerned about this and cried out to Lord about it. The answer came quickly and the Lord showed me the verses in the book of Philipians where Paul considered all things to be lost on account of the excellency of Christ Jesus his Lord. The Lord showed me that I treasured the knowledge of Him more than knowing Him directly. I had a sense that I needed to put everything I knew about Him on the altar in exchange for knowing the person of Jesus directly. This also included my membership to the LR. I had invested years of my life in it and had climbed the ranks. This was a very difficult thing for me to do. I was also confused why Lord would require this of me seeing that it was after all His recovery and the vessel He chose to carry out His economy. I even thought that it might be the enemy trying to trick me. After some time however I did it, I took the deal. Immediately I felt such a heavy burden drop off me. I felt released and free and happy. The Lord became so rich and sweet to me. He really became "my Lord" and not just "the Lord". I bowed my knees and surrendered to Him. I could no longer serve anyone or anything else just the Lord Himself. The church life actually became more enjoyable after this. I was no longer bound by it and could enjoy the Lord freely. The Lord also revealed to me that He loved me a lot and that I was not just a cog in the machine of His economy. This enabled me an even deeper surrender. I was always a bit hesitant, thinking that He only cared for His great plan and was willing to let me undergo all kinds of suffering to accomplish His purpose. Oh, how sweet it was to see the Lord in that way. It was so easy to surrender to a person that loved me and cared for me. I happily became His slave. Somehow due to this, my temperature became a bit hot for the saints and they started to get a bit suspicious of me. At the same time, a brother that I was close to got quarantined because he felt that the ministry and Witness Lee was over exalted and that it offended the throne of Jesus. He felt that saints were not so much under the Lord's headship but were instead governed by the ministry and the system of the Lord's recovery. He voiced his feelings publicly and the brothers silenced him by sending an email to all the localities asking them to not fellowship with him anymore. This was a concern to me. How can we remove a person from the fellowship if we are the genuine church, meeting on the ground of oneness? Not believing that WL is the minister of the age cannot be the reason for being quarantined. That would mean that the ministry and our relationship to it is the ground on which we meet and not the ground of oneness that includes all believers holding to the basic items of the faith. So that means we are a division and not practicing the genuine church life. I wanted to know this for a fact and not just get convincing words that would sway my feeling. So I did an experiment. My hypothesis was that if I told the brothers that I no longer believed that WL is the minister of the age and they still accepted me it would confirm that we are on the proper ground. If they rejected me that would indicate that we are on a different ground. So I deployed my hypothesis in an elder's meeting, I myself being one. I made the statement, "I no longer believe that WL is the minister of the age". I was immediately asked to step down as an elder. For a few weeks after this, the more senior brothers desperately tried to reason with me. I asked hard questions about the ground of oneness and the ministry which they could not answer. I tried to fellowship about it with other saints and was quickly silenced myself. I thus concluded that submission to the ministry is in fact a requirement to be in a local church and thus it is not on the proper ground and that it is, in fact, a division. This also answered a question I had for many years. Why is there hardly any blessing in the LR? If it is really God's move on the earth why is He not helping us out a bit? Should we not be seeing tremendous growth, impact, and increase instead of laboring year after year without seeing any of that. My answer to this was always that it is the Lord's move and that is why the enemy is resisting it with all his force. I no longer believe that. I now see that the problem is in fact that we do not honor the Lord's headship but instead are governed by something else. I now clearly see that the only way to become truly living and vital is to surrender to the Throne with nothing in between. I think that the LR is like Laodicea where the Lord is standing outside the door and knocking. If you hear His voice and open to Him, He will come in and dine with you and you with Him. Under His throne. Your brother.