Cal Strikes Again! Satire At It's Finest!

[Cal]

you're being silly Cal.
Too bored by the quarantine?

[Ohio]

The government responded by filling their training center with 37 tons of sand to protect them from the corona virus.

[theLCfurry]

I can't find any website link that had this article that you screenshotted and made an image of. Is this a prank or what's going on here?

[Ohio]

Living Stream Ministry / Local Churches respond to loss of their legal case

[Ohio]

Rumor has it that Ron Kangas called all those sleepy reporters, "Moo Cows."

[Nell]

Originally Posted by theLCfurry

I can't find any website link that had this article that you screenshotted and made an image of. Is this a prank or what's going on here?

Yes.

Nell

[Cal]

Originally Posted by Ohio

The government responded by filling their training center with 37 tons of sand to protect them from the corona virus.

If only....

[Sons to Glory!]

Very clever - I see this as a SNL Weekend Update skit!

Oh wait, I think I hear a knock on my front door . . .

[Cal]

[Raptor]

Lord forgive me for laughing so hard...

[Nell]

Poor Cal. Cabin fever no doubt. Get a mask. Take a walk. You’ll feel better.

[Cal]

Originally Posted by Nell

Poor Cal. Cabin fever no doubt. Get a mask. Take a walk. You’ll feel better.

I guess. You have to do something...

[Cal]

Originally Posted by Nell

Poor Cal. Cabin fever no doubt. Get a mask. Take a walk. You’ll feel better.

I guess. You have to do something... Actually I did just take a walk.

[Trapped]

Keep 'em coming, I'm getting some serious face cramps from smiling so big and laughing so hard.

[Ohio]

Did HERBALIFE really sponsor Minoru?

[Truthseeker]

Originally Posted by Cal

Soccer or socercer? Filling with spirit of dead people can be considered as shaman or socercer. We have only to be filled with Holy Spirit.
When I read your post, I got goosebumps.

[Cal]

[OBW]

I assume that was an actual picture of Kangas in post #1. Doesn't look anything like I remember him.

Of course, that was at least 33 years ago. I guess I probably haven't aged a whole lot better.

[byHismercy]

Oh my. Just when I was wondering what you wrote, Cal. A comedian through and through. I don't know what you do professionally, but I believe you've found your niche, (in case you were looking for it).

[Cal]

Originally Posted by byHismercy

Oh my. Just when I was wondering what you wrote, Cal. A comedian through and through. I don't know what you do professionally, but I believe you've found your niche, (in case you were looking for it).

Thanks. Better late than never. Now if I can just figure out how to get paid for it....

[Cal]

Originally Posted by OBW

I assume that was an actual picture of Kangas in post #1. Doesn't look anything like I remember him.

Of course, that was at least 33 years ago. I guess I probably haven't aged a whole lot better.

Keep thinking young, OBW. That's all you can do!

[Ohio]

Cal, I would bet even a few Blemdeds would chuckle at your latest news clips. That photo of MC is classic. Perhaps a dose of humor would shake them to sobriety.

[ExLCMillennial]

Witness Lee in a coffin be like with his blended dancers. I'm sorry, but Cal started it.

[Nell]

Explaining the Confusion

We shepherds intended to explain rumors that have arisen over the years regarding the local churches, the ministry, Watchman Nee and Witness Lee. We have not succeeded. Unintended confusion does occur from time to time, and we can explain.

The recent comments of Minoru Chen, while seemingly confusing, actually make perfect sense. Minoru doesn’t really believe what he has been saying. He was simply trying to conflate the working of the Holy Spirit with works of the “other” spirit. Minoru is confused and it got away from him.

As for the rumors you guys are repeating, yeah, I know, there really is factual basis that we were never able to disprove to rational, sober minded people. We confused you, but we were not wrong.

We regret the confusion we create by writing under a vague moniker rather than real names of real people. We acknowledge that it is possible for any Tom, Dick or Harry to usurp this moniker and there’s not a thing we can do about it. Sometimes we just need to remain anonymous and not be accountable for what we say. We feel this confusion is justifiable and nothing new…we are just following orders.

We have not succeeded in explaining all of the confusion. We have not fully explained any of it. In fact, the explanations we provided only serve to raise a whole new set of questions. In many ways, we are as confused as you are. However, we do believe that our confusion is at a higher level and about more important matters.

The cow-orkers

[Cal]

Originally Posted by Nell

Explaining the Confusion

...

The cow-orkers

Thank you, cow-orkers. Timely and confusing words... for these confusing times. Amen.

[Cal]

[Ohio]

I knew an elder who actually repented to the Lord for having way too much natural love for his newborn son.

But I never heard anyone repent for loving Witness Lee too much.

Is there anything wrong with this?

[Freedom]

I remember having a discussion with an LC elder about legalism in the LC. I think he was trying to suggest that things in the LC had "improved" over the years, and he mentioned that the locality he was first in didn't allow anyone to have dogs.

[Cal]

Some of us have heard of the sister who stayed home sick from a meeting.

When her elder husband came home she was wearily washing dishes. But he went upstairs and didn't help her.

Some time later, when their marriage failed, she asked him, "Why didn't you help me that night?"

He answered, "I didn't want to act in my natural man."

[Nell]

Originally Posted by Cal

Some of us have heard of the sister who stayed home sick from a meeting.

When her elder husband came home she was wearily washing dishes. But he went upstairs and didn't help her.

Some time later, when their marriage failed, she asked him, "Why didn't you help me that night?"

He answered, "I didn't want to act in my natural man."

This is not satire...at one time she and I were good friends. She didn’t go to the meeting that night because she was sick.

Nell

[Cal]

Originally Posted by Nell

This is not satire...at one time she and I were good friends. She didn’t go to the meeting that night because she was sick.

Nell

I wasn't saying it was satire, I was saying it was more evidence of the bad fruit of worrying about "natural love," which the Bible actually does not condemn but defends.

Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful. Rom 1:31

NATURAL AFFECTION. The affection which a husband, a father, a brother, or other near relative, naturally feels towards those who are so nearly allied to him, sometimes supplies the place of a valuable consideration in contracts;

But thanks for the clarification. It definitely was a true story.

[Nell]

Originally Posted by Cal

I wasn't saying it was satire, I was saying it was more evidence of the bad fruit of worrying about "natural love," which the Bible actually does not condemn but defends.

Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful. Rom 1:31

NATURAL AFFECTION. The affection which a husband, a father, a brother, or other near relative, naturally feels towards those who are so nearly allied to him, sometimes supplies the place of a valuable consideration in contracts;

But thanks for the clarification. It definitely was a true story.

Understood. I should have clarified in my reply. Thanks.

[Cal]

[Ohio]

Cal, thanks so much for this news blurb of such a memorable event.

Most of us outside of Anaheim have never seen the likeness of Philip since his life was such a sacrifice for the Lord's work that he never had a chance to attend a meeting. Since he was his father's "most trusted cow-orker," I'm sure that he was overflowing with all the riches.

Perhaps you also have some audio of his rich ministry? His portion should also be made available to all the saints, for the building up of that one exclusive body, consummating in the Recovered Jerusalem!

[Cal]

Originally Posted by Ohio

Cal, thanks so much for this news blurb of such a memorable event.

Most of us outside of Anaheim have never seen the likeness of Philip since his life was such a sacrifice for the Lord's work that he never had a chance to attend a meeting. Since he was his father's "most trusted cow-orker," I'm sure that he was overflowing with all the riches.

Perhaps you also have some audio of his rich ministry? His portion should also be made available to all the saints, for the building up of that one exclusive body, consummating in the Recovered Jerusalem!

Good one!

Unfortunately the only audio is a scratchy old recording of him breathing heavily. Possibly at the time he was struggling under the burden of bearing the LR in the face of such unfair personal attacks.