Diary of the Lords Recovery

[FigNewtonWarrior]

Diary of the Lords Recovery

I made this thread dedicated for people to share their stories and experiences of the lord’s recovery. This thread is not dedicated for full testimonies. But for people to share certain moments, thoughts, and experiences while in or out of the Living Stream Ministry Churches. As the title of this thread says, this is a diary/journal with the purpose of containing the many stories and experiences in the lord’s recovery. Let’s have discussions on our diary/journal entries!

Guess I Will Start (If you want, include the title, date, and username of journal entry)

Journal Entry: Title- Matthew 25, Date-9/1/21, User FigNewtonWarrior

I was in a meeting one time and there was an elder giving a message on Matthew 25 regarding Talents. If some of you know don’t know, there are certain chapters in the bible that the leader, so the recovery uses as typical routine for their agenda. They like to use Moses and Korah to go on the deputy authority diatribe, they use Genesis 2 and 3 to hush people up when it comes to evil and wickedness running around their church, and there is Matthew 25 among others. Matthew is usually used to mentally break people about the millennium darkness and try to spook members in tithing money or giving intense pressure to recruit members. Its used a weapon of fear and intimidation. The leaders of the LR don’t care about using the “talents” and “gifts” of members because they most talent as a threat to their LeeBot agenda. The only thing they care about is money, gaining members, and eventually for members to rid of their gifts and abilities and become mind numbing vain repetition audio tapes.

This story comes get sad when this sister just shares and confesses how the message was one of many that constantly gives her anxiety attacks and depression. She is so afraid of this “1000-year darkness” and she does not know what more she can do. She has a husband and kids, and other responsibilities in life and this anxiety she has is hurting her. She is a very kind person and soft hearted, so is her husband, they are both like little doves. They are very lovely and try to love the lord and do so much, but they seem themselves as little value (her husband expressed similar anxiety issues in previous meetings regarding 1000-year darkness). When this sister shared her struggles, I saw various expressions and responses. Some were just blatantly ignoring it and showing signs of relatively mild contempt. Others seemed downcast and saddened as if they sympathize and empathize but can never express their feelings do to stigma and contempt from their peers.

I felt sad, because at that point, I never truly realized how deeply people were affected by these doctrines/teachings in the LR. They seemed so happy and fine on the surface but I guess that moment made me realize the darkness and despair covered up and in the LR. People dont express their mental health issues in the LR, its not non-existent, just pushed aside as if it does not have a right to exist and be dealt with. It made me angry since I know the elders and coworkers are targeting these vulnerable people to propagate their agenda. People like this are easily oppressed and used as tools for money and labor. At this point in the recovery, I was seeing through the veil and the nonsense of Lee was becoming very transparent for me and no longer opaque. I wonder how that couple is doing today, I am free from that environment, but they are still stuck. I wonder if their kids will be ok growing up or will they succumb to the various struggles other Ex-Church Kids go through.

I felt powerless and sad at the same time, even until this day I feel bad for people like that. So lovely, so sweet, just deceived and blinded. Those Coworkers and Elders who like to use scripture to oppress the weak and oppose God- shame on you. Leave them alone, if you want the recovery to grow then come back to God and be one with his word. Most people want to follow Jesus not Lee, that is why you are hardly growing. You advertise “Christ as the head”, people become interested, they check it out, they see that’s not the case and just leave (it’s that simple). Leave these vulnerable people alone because they can’t fix your problems.

[awareness]

After a year or so in the church, at the Kingdom conference, I was approached to come from Santa Cruz, Ca. to Detroit, where Ron Kangas was lead elder.

It was there that I discovered that Lee didn't keep Nee and his own teachings on the autonomy of the local churches.

The church in Detroit was formed, and ground taken, by Assembly of God brothers that read Nee and Lee. They contacted Lee and Lee sent in his own elders, replacing the existing elders.

I shelfed that observation, but didn't forget it. From that point on I wasn't a simple follower.

[TLFisher]

Though I had read Fermentation of the Present Rebellion and Reconsideration of the Vision prior to moving to Washington state in 1993, that was all shelved well before I began meeting with the Church in Bellevue. Summer of 1995 I was reading The Normal Christian Life by Watchman Nee. It began opening my eyes - LC practices wasn't matching LC teachings.

[Sons to Glory!]

After a Sunday meeting in Columbus, I went with an older LC brother to eat at a fast food place. In a back corner sat a few Christians singing softly with one on guitar. We went back and fellowshipped with them a bit about how wonderful Jesus was. It was good. Then when we were asked by them where we "go to church," the brother with me proceeded to tell them and then said, "We believe the Lord has shown us a higher vision than He has you." He then told them about this higher "uniting ground of oneness/locality" vision.

Needless to say, an invisible wall immediately went up between us and these Christians, so we rather abruptly left. I think the LC brother told me, as we were leaving, something about "all we can do is present the truth."

At that point I began to consider that something wasn't right . . .

[TLFisher]

Fall of 1996 I was convicted by the Holy Spirit regarding speaking.
In one particular Lords Day meeting I was bothered by the elitist talk towards non-LC churches. I realized my attitude had been all wrong. I was one who used to say we in the local churches have everything and Christianity has nothing. I repented for having that attitude.

[Ohio]

Originally Posted by Sons to Glory!

After a Sunday meeting in Columbus, I went with an older LC brother to eat at a fast food place. In a back corner sat a few Christians singing softly with one on guitar. We went back and fellowshipped with them a bit about how wonderful Jesus was. It was good. Then when we were asked by them where we "go to church," the brother with me proceeded to tell them and then said, "We believe the Lord has shown us a higher vision than He has you." He then told them about this higher "uniting ground of oneness/locality" vision.

Needless to say, an invisible wall immediately went up between us and these Christians, so we rather abruptly left. I think the LC brother told me, as we were leaving, something about "all we can do is present the truth."

At that point I began to consider that something wasn't right . . .

Yikes, that might have been me!

We used all that talk about oneness to create more divisions.

But ... I believed all that talk until LSM decided to quarantine the Midwest, use local "trainings" to teach local members how to sue for church property, and then divide all the Midwest LC's in half.

[TLFisher]

After Renton, WA had taken the ground (2009?), since I live here I wanted to see if anything had changed since last meeting with the Church in Bellevue (2001). Years had passed, but nothing had changed. Prophesying meeting was still being used to belittle non-LSM/LC Christians. The Song Remains The Same.