Just Left the 'Recovery'. What a Relief.

I'm Bradley. I was in the church for ten years, and graduated from the FTT after two years study there (the curriculum is based on FTTA in Anaheim). My whole life was devoted to the church and I basically did nothing except church stuff. I had no friends who were not in the church.

Unfortunately, because brothers and sisters are discouraged from any form of communication at all outside of marital courtship (conversation between brothers and sisters should be kept within about 2-5 minutes, no more), I ended up marrying a sister I hardly knew just because she was also an FTT grad and seemed spiritual. Heaven forbid we actually date for a long period of time and get to know each other first, that would be worldly. When I was a student on campus serving and gospel-preaching with the full-timers, whenever one of our new ones had a girlfriend we would pray for them to either break up or get married quickly because dating was so sinful - so when it came time for me to start a relationship, I quickly got married to appease my conscience about having a girlfriend. She turned out to be highly abusive, violent and hypocritical, but it was too late, I was already married. Her abuse at home but spiritual facade in the meetings was a big suffering for me. I turned me to cigarettes and alcohol, I often got drunk on my own at home (she wouldn't let me go out to pubs) but in the meetings I put on a smile and acted like a spiritual brother for the 'testimony'.

After six years of a miserable, grueling marriage I decided - rather than committing suicide - to leave my wife. The church who I had served for a decade turned on me and treated me terribly. A leading brother told me I could not be a Christian anymore, I could never again partake of the bread and wine for the rest of my life if I did not return to my wife. He even said that abuse is irrelevant, I need to 'take the cross'. If a sister was physically beaten by her husband, she also should remain with him and simply pray for his repentance, because only adultery is grounds for divorce, nothing else. That was the beginning of my doubts about the church, as you can imagine.

I was reading some posts on your website, which type of website I had always avoided because it was 'poison', and found that it actually rang very true for me and was quite accurate. It is not 'poison', it was helpful. But I had always been taught that it was 'poison' because they didn't want me reading it and thinking for myself in a way that would lead to a conclusion of leaving the church.

Anyway, my old friends who are still in the church see me as this 'lost sheep' who needs to repent, but I'm just happy I can finally live a happy and normal life. All I've ever known for the last decade has been this super-spiritual fundie way of life and now I am having to learn how to fit into society again.

[Fuji]

Welcome Bradley, my heart breaks for what you have gone through. I pray that the Lord continues to heal and lead you. Cast all your anxiety and burden on Him. I don't know what we can do to directly help you but we will pray for you and I hope sharing your story here will provide you some relief and encouragement.

It disgusts me with their double standard. Gossip and slandering are just as evil as other sins.

Originally Posted by Bradley

Anyway, my old friends who are still in the church see me as this 'lost sheep' who needs to repent, but I'm just happy I can finally live a happy and normal life. All I've ever known for the last decade has been this super-spiritual fundie way of life and now I am having to learn how to fit into society again.

I feel you. As I shared in another post, send the pain to the cross. Send the bitterness and sadness to the cross. At the end of the day, the Lord is the one who judges our service, the darkest secrets in our heart will be revealed when He comes. Better ask to Lord to create in as a pure heart - a pure heart why loves Christ and Church purely, than to chant "hallelujah amen we are the chosen one" while looking down on others. May you continue to walk in His freedom.

[Bradley]

Originally Posted by Evangelical

Compared to them, I don't think the Recovery is a real cult.

I agree, sect would probably be a better word. I had some very real experiences of Christ while I was there, I can't deny that. And yes, nothing wrong with door-knocking really, you're right. I just mentioned it because it reminded me of the door-knocking I had done and put it in persepective.


As for the crazy WMSCOG,

Originally Posted by countmeworthy

First of all, she told me she met with a Christian non denominational church

Yep, same here, part of their routine to establish trust. I still don't know for absolute sure if the girls who knocked on my door were from the WMSCOG but I'm about 90% sure. They have my number, so I'll have to find out when they ring. I've never had girls so happy to receive my number before lol, one of them squealed with joy, like she had been rudely rejected all day and finally got a lead hahaha. If only other girls would be that happy when I gave them my number...

Originally Posted by countmeworthy

...After we went our own way, she hooked up with her. LOL!

You mean they kissed? Hooking up is such an ambiguous term that could mean anything. I always thought it meant sex but apparently only sometimes.

[countmeworthy]

Sect is a better word than LSM/LC cult because the gospel is /was preached, and the power of the Blood of Jesus taught. Furthermore, when I got saved through the preaching of the Word of God by the LC saints in 1975, I was delivered from my sins...except one which came much, much later. But alas! The Lord Jesus and His Blood delivered me once I totally surrendered my sin to Him.

I also did door knocking with the saints on Thursday evenings, inviting people to the 'gospel love feasts' we held on Saturday evenings which I loved btw. I don't know that our door knocking was successful in bringing people in but it was a good experience for me.

One thing I learned from the gospel feasts in retrospect is that Jesus did not use the same formula in reaching people. To the woman of the well, He spoke to her very differently from the way He reached Nicodemus and still different from the way He reached the sick and so many other people.
That was 1975.

As for the crazy WMSCOG,
silly man! They exchanged notes should have been the comment instead of 'hooked up''.

I passed by their building this past Saturday on my way to Walmart..and I happened to notice a lot of people going into the 'church' building. The women were all dressed in dresses or skirts/blouses and if I am not mistaken, it was mostly black and white clothing.

The men were neatly dressed in suits. And there was NO SIGN of the name of their congregation.

The woman I spoke with also asked for my phone #. I reluctantly gave it to her. But had she called me, I would have blasted her for lying to me of their 'no name church'...non denominational church and everything else about it! They have not called and probably will not. I don't know about you Bradley but I did tell them I was saved and was saved by the Blood of Jesus. The woman babbled a lot and did not make sense. She told me a lot of this 'god the mother' stuff and the second coming of Christ..but twisted the scriptures like you would not believe! "We" had a lengthy conversation... but really she controlled it. When I spoke, I asked her several times if she was saved, she said 'yes' then continued babbling away not making any sense.

It was obvious she was using a memorized brainwashed script.

Keep seeking the Lord Jesus and His Spirit for Guidance, Counsel and to continue to lead you in the path of Righteousness until we arrive. May He surround you with blessed and healthy fellowship and shower you with His Love granting you Wisdom, Revelation, Insight filling you with His Inner Joy and His inner peace. Not only to you, but to all the saints in Christ Jesus.

Originally Posted by Bradley

I agree, sect would probably be a better word. I had some very real experiences of Christ while I was there, I can't deny that. And yes, nothing wrong with door-knocking really, you're right. I just mentioned it because it reminded me of the door-knocking I had done and put it in persepective.


As for the crazy WMSCOG,

Yep, same here, part of their routine to establish trust. I still don't know for absolute sure if the girls who knocked on my door were from the WMSCOG but I'm about 90% sure. They have my number, so I'll have to find out when they ring. I've never had girls so happy to receive my number before lol, one of them squealed with joy, like she had been rudely rejected all day and finally got a lead hahaha. If only other girls would be that happy when I gave them my number...

You mean they kissed? Hooking up is such an ambiguous term that could mean anything. I always thought it meant sex but apparently only sometimes.

[Bradley]

Originally Posted by countmeworthy

And there was NO SIGN of the name of their congregation.

Yeah this got me too. The girls eventually did call me back, and I asked them what their name was, they said they have no name. I asked them if they follow anyone, they said they just follow Jesus. I asked them if they believe anything different, they said they just believe the bible.

Sounds legit.

Then I asked them if their name was the World Mission Society Church Of God, did they follow a dead Korean dude, and did they believe he was the second coming of Christ? Yes, yes, yes. Then why the heck didn't you say that when I asked you before???

I told them they're a bunch of heretics, they need to repent, and they should never contact me ever again, neither by phone nor door-knocking. They argued for a bit and then I blocked their number. 2 John 10-11.

[OBW]

Originally Posted by Bradley

After six years of a miserable, grueling marriage I decided - rather than committing suicide - to leave my wife. The church who I had served for a decade turned on me and treated me terribly. A leading brother told me I could not be a Christian anymore, I could never again partake of the bread and wine for the rest of my life if I did not return to my wife. He even said that abuse is irrelevant, I need to 'take the cross'. If a sister was physically beaten by her husband, she also should remain with him and simply pray for his repentance, because only adultery is grounds for divorce, nothing else. That was the beginning of my doubts about the church, as you can imagine.

Yet, where I live, the brothers were quick to help some sisters become divorced from their husbands just because they weren't coming to the meetings or didn't want them to come. Quite a double standard.

As for the politics, I agree with the sentiment that it is a hornet's nest to get into politics. And there are many places that the people presume that God votes Republican (or Democrat), or that everyone in their assembly agrees with their position. It is a shame. Always presume that your audience is mixed. And that not agreeing with you (or me) is not a mental defect. There are reasons for both conservative and liberal positions on many issues. Even on the same issues. Which should indicate that it is not about polar positions. And in the context of church and Christians, it really should be about our interaction (in love) with everyone — even those who do not agree with us on particular issues of politics, fiscal policy, and even morality.

[OBW]

Originally Posted by Bradley

Anyway, my old friends who are still in the church see me as this 'lost sheep' who needs to repent, but I'm just happy I can finally live a happy and normal life. All I've ever known for the last decade has been this super-spiritual fundie way of life and now I am having to learn how to fit into society again.

And I hope that you find your way into/with a church of some sort. Don't really care which one (well, I would avoid the Mormons and JWs) as long as you find a true relationship with you savior, Jesus Christ.

[TLFisher]

Originally Posted by Bradley

I was reading some posts on your website, which type of website I had always avoided because it was 'poison', and found that it actually rang very true for me and was quite accurate. It is not 'poison', it was helpful. But I had always been taught that it was 'poison' because they didn't want me reading it and thinking for myself in a way that would lead to a conclusion of leaving the church.

Bradley, I am sorrowful for your experiences. Something I've said consistently is "there's two sides to a coin". The leading brothers only want one side of the coin to be viewed; that from a pro-LSM perspective. The other side of the coin is contrary to LSM and is viewed unfavorably because brothers and sisters would demand accountability just as brothers and sisters from the Mars Hill Churches demanded from Mark Driscoll. That's why the term poison been utilized ever since I was a child in the 1970's in the local churches.

[Ohio]

Originally Posted by Bradley

I quickly got married to appease my conscience about having a girlfriend. She turned out to be highly abusive, violent and hypocritical, but it was too late, I was already married. Her abuse at home but spiritual facade in the meetings was a big suffering for me.

Hi Bradley, welcome to the forum!

You are not alone with a difficult marriage. The LC's have received archaic instructions concerning marriage, and it's surprising any of them survive. Many survive by keeping the LC at arm's length, and out of their home.

You have said little about your relationship with the Lord. I hope you can cling to Him during these days, and not rush into another relationship. You really need the Lord to restore your soul and direct your path.

[Bradley]

Hey guys, thanks for all the support! I really appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Koinonia

Better not to bring politics into it. Many people have different political views than you do. By making it an issue, you effectively isolate half of your audience.

Always presume that your audience is mixed.

Yes I realise this. The admin posted this for me after I sent him my testimony as an email, which is *great*, I'm glad he did - but if I had known I was writing for an audience I would have worded it slightly differently.

Very many of my acquaintances (under 30s), FTTA graduates, etc., are actually quite liberal and vocally anti-Trump.

The full-timer who told me this did say that it was spoken quite quietly, i.e. at a brother's meeting among responsible ones - not at some public conference where everyone can go. They do respect others' right to believe what they like, but among themselves they consider him part of God's economy. I respect others' right to believe this, but for me personally it is a hard pill to swallow. It tells me that the blending brothers' opinions are just opinions, rather than some oracle of God, and I find it disturbing that so many saints blindly follow it without thinking for themselves just because they feel they should be one with the ministry.

The brothers were quick to help some sisters become divorced from their husbands just because they weren't coming to the meetings or didn't want them to come

Wow, that's shocking! How dare they? I guess with the inconsistency here its just another sign that the saints are just a bunch of people, just like anyone else. Not 'one'.

You have said little about your relationship with the Lord

Well tbh, I haven't really prayed much in the last six months since I left my ex. I still love the Lord, but haven't felt comfortable going to meetings for fear of judgment. I have gone to a few denominational group meetings but its hard because I've always been taught for the last ten years how terrible Christianity is, and its difficicult to overcome that inwardly. I just went to the denom group meetings to socialise and study the Bible as I didn't feel comfortable going on the Lord's day to partake of the bread and wine.

So I'm a little in the world as a result of the lack of fellowship you could say. I listen to worldly music and meet friends at the pub to play pool. I do have this itch at the back of my mind that I will be judged one day and I keep getting verses like 'Remember Lot's wife' (Luke 17:32) spring to mind while I'm doing this stuff but now that I have a different understanding of the church I need to reevaluate my understanding on outer darkness and all this stuff.

Honestly I just need some time, I'll come back to the Lord in a solid way when I'm ready. I don't want to leave the Lord just because I left 'the church'.

You are not alone with a difficult marriage. The LC's have received archaic instructions concerning marriage, and it's surprising any of them survive

Wow, this is news to me! Haha I didn't know this. I'm not surprised however.

A few times when I went to leading brothers for support about my marriage problems over the years, I'd receive some 'interesting' fellowship. On multiple occasions I would confide in different brothers how I only get 'intimacy' from my wife a couple of times a year and they would say "me too brother, just take the cross, that's normal". Like, I'm pretty sure thats not normal at all? But I guess it is in the church lol.

[TLFisher]

Originally Posted by Bradley

It tells me that the blending brothers' opinions are just opinions, rather than some oracle of God, and I find it disturbing that so many saints blindly follow it without thinking for themselves just because they feel they should be one with the ministry.

Wow, that's shocking! How dare they? I guess with the inconsistency here its just another sign that the saints are just a bunch of people, just like anyone else. Not 'one'.

From what I've noticed opinions of blended brothers/coworkers/elders seem to carry more weight among brothers and sisters than Scripture. Because of their opinions to refusing fellowship to certain ones, there's more credibility to a types of Diotrephes.

In regard to inconsistency, this is where the brothers are consistent. Being favorable to spouses who are more aligned with the ministry. They might even use the clause "unequally yoked" to justify divorce.

[JJ]

Bradley, welcome to this forum which exists as 'a hospital' for people like you and me. I hope and pray that you will find refuge and healing here and with caring Christians you find where you live. Jesus does love and care for you, and gave his life up for you.

Your story is another example of the tremendous disfunction of 'the shepherding' going on in "The Lords Recovery" (TLR), a misnomer for sure.

The brothers you sought counsel with should have done the loving and truthful thing to refer you to law enforcement to get help with abusive spouse. That would have brought the issue to a head that would have gotten you both help. Marriage counseling is another thing they wouldn't talk about, but most Christians are willing to seek help there.

Breathe the life-giving breath of freedom in Christ outside TLR, but don't turn that freeedom into a license to sin.

JJ

[aron]

Originally Posted by JJ

Your story is another example of the tremendous disfunction of 'the shepherding' going on in "The Lords Recovery" (TLR), a misnomer for sure.

JJ's right; 'the shepherding' is actually laced with avoidance, denial, and suppression. Just Call O Lord Jesus repeatedly, get into the latest ministry messages, serve in the meetings, pray-read the bullet points, and exercise your spirits (yell) and all your problems will magically disappear.

That's a big reason why they look for 'good building material'. Then they can avoid problems.
(And compare that to Jesus' ministry - the exact opposite!)

Bradley, It might be worth considering why your wife was so freaked out. Certainly you weren't perfect. (we all have faults). Why did she repeatedly act out so badly toward you? (now, we're NOT looking for saucy details - please protect her, and yourself, from further injury)

Think about a socialization environment in which folks are constantly being fed "glorious church life, feasting on such a rich store" mantras ("brothers, verse 1 - loudly!")when the reality is absolutely not so. Likewise, think about a scenario in which everything, and I mean everything, except what the 'ministry' is putting out this month is held to be either passe or poison. Think about what that kind of environment does to someone's soul. No opportunity for growth, for healing, for real open-ness and repentance and restoration. No curiosity. (you'll be punished for being curious, or adventurous - "poison" or "independent" or "rebellious") No, just masticate the processed triune god and become god in life and nature (but not in the godhead, as that would be heretical).

Think about the expectations, the appearances, and the reality of what it really feels like inside. No wonder your poor wife behaved so badly. It's a repressed and repressive environment. So how to get the demons out? Bad behaviour. Hidden lives, of anger, addiction, shame, compulsiveness. The exact opposite of the transformation that's supposed to happen.

I left the church and went 'agnostic' for several years; became worldly but still was able to work, learn, and hang out with unbelievers. Tried to (somewhat at least) restore my humanity on human terms & be a member of the human race. Tried to avoid depravity and dissolution, just because it's a crappy way to live. Learned how to think again. Eventually came back to God on my terms (lo and behold it was Jesus all along, for me).

Peace & blessings on your journey. Thanks for having the courage and open-ness to share on the forum.

[Bradley]

Originally Posted by aron

Bradley, It might be worth considering why your wife was so freaked out. Certainly you weren't perfect. (we all have faults). Why did she repeatedly act out so badly toward you? (now, we're NOT looking for saucy details - please protect her, and yourself, from further injury)

Oh she just had anger management issues and parents that spoiled her rotten. She would scream and shout at the slightest thing, and not just around me but around friends, colleagues, taxi drivers and other workers, our own customers, little children... she was messed up. I knew that if we had children, they would grow up traumatised. She was like this for the whole 6 years I was with her, from when we were only engaged to the day I left her.

No I'm not perfect, but I'm only about as bad as the next guy. I'm a typical bloke. Most of the times when I lost my temper at her was when she was smashing plates on the floor and hitting me already and I didn't like that - but neither would any other guy.

It really causes brothers and sisters to be dysfunctional in regard to the opposite genders.

This is one of my biggest problems with the LC. I'm having to learn from scratch how to talk with women. I've learned a lot in the last 6 months but I feel like I should have learned this when I was a uni student. I often approach cute girls on the street to make conversation with them and am taking dancing lessons now where I can chat with women while dancing with them. No idea how to date, flirt or make a move on women, but I'm practising!

[TLFisher]

Originally Posted by Bradley

This is one of my biggest problems with the LC.

No easy. The LC system creates dysfunction in communicating with the opposite gender. Unless one was raised in a home that didn't care what "the brothers" thought. I had a childhood LC friend like that.

[JJ]

Originally Posted by Bradley

Oh she just had anger management issues and parents that spoiled her rotten...... she would scream and shout at the slightest thing, and not just around me but around friends, colleagues, taxi drivers and other workers, our own customers, little children... she was messed up.....

...... Most of the times when I lost my temper at her was when she was smashing plates on the floor and hitting me already.....

........No idea how to date, flirt or make a move on women, but I'm practising!

Bradley your ex-wife was also assaulting you, which is against the law, and was never taught that temper tantrums aren't proper behavior with anyone. She needed the attention of law enforcement and counseling. Proper shepherding would have pointed you there.

If you think you need to "make a move on women", you probably should focus on a heart change before looking for female companionship. Heart change only comes from Jesus.

Here's prayer you can recover from "The Recovery", and find true help and healing from "The Great Physician".

[Cal]

Bradley, Again my advice is simplify, simplify. Go back to the basics. Faith in God, relationship with him, daily prayer, turn all your troubles over to him. Don't try to figure out all the theology. The Christian/church life is really simple. Love God, love people. Jesus said if you take care of those two commandments you've fulfilled the whole law.

Human life is full of trouble but we were just not designed to carry a lot of psychological burdens. Our problem is we want ANSWERS (why did this happen? am I being punished? what exactly is God telling me to do?). But God is really only concerned with our RESPONSES, that is, do we respond in faith, trust and love.

Really all we need to do is turn everything over to him and just take it day to day. In other words, we don't need to know everything, we just need to respond in faith, and he promises to guide us. Having gone through a recent divorce myself I can tell you this in one sense is very hard to do. But in another sense it's the only viable course we have. The Devil would like to confuse us with complicating questions. But the key is to drop all the questions, simplify and seek God's face, and let him reveal things to us in his time.

This is what Jesus meant when he said, Don't worry about tomorrow.

[Bradley]

Originally Posted by JJ

Bradley your ex-wife was also assaulting you, which is against the law, and was never taught that temper tantrums aren't proper behavior with anyone. She needed the attention of law enforcement and counseling. Proper shepherding would have pointed you there.

Yeah I know. But we never got 'proper shepherding' even though I asked for it from the brothers on so many occasions. Heck, one time I went to a leading brother for help with my bible reading, and he looked at me disgusted like I was a bad person for not reading the bible every day. Its hard to discern who you can go to for help. Often the elders and those who prophesy really well already have their function, helping individuals is not their function.

Originally Posted by JJ

If you think you need to "make a move on women", you probably should focus on a heart change before looking for female companionship. Heart change only comes from Jesus.

Okay this sounds really bad but hear me out: I was a virgin until I got married in my late 20s. I was married for six years and only had sex a few times a year, and for that I had to beg like a hobo and do a whole lot of extra chores and sucking up for like a week. Even then it was the worst sex ever, she just lay there with this empty look in her eyes. One time she fell asleep halfway through. Another time her cellphone rang and she didn't know I could understand her Chinese (we lived in China but only spoke English at home, she's Chinese), but her friend asked her what she was doing and she said (in Chinese) "oh, nothing important, I'm free to chat. Whats up?". She obviously didn't marry me because she loved me, if she did then sex might have been more exciting to her than washing the dishes. No amount of foreplay or effort on my part did anything to change that.

Now I'm finally single again, I'm in my mid 30s and I've probably only had sex about ~60-70 times in my whole life. You seriously think I'm looking for companionship right now? Eventually I'm going to want a girlfriend but right now, that's not my highest priority. I don't care about having someone to hold hands with when I walk down the street, I don't feel any particular need for someone to call me 'hunny'. I already had that for six years and it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. So I know this is a Christian forum, but I have to be honest, I'm sick of missing out on all the action that everyone else is getting, and God is going to have to wait until I get that out of my system before I can carry on being a 'good Christian boy'.

[DistantStar]

Originally Posted by Bradley

Unfortunately, because brothers and sisters are discouraged from any form of communication at all outside of marital courtship (conversation between brothers and sisters should be kept within about 2-5 minutes, no more)

This is interesting. I never thought a lot about it, but it explains the difficulty I had in talking to some of the girls there. I found it slightly odd how the men and women had to sit with their own gender. But I assumed it is more of a cultural thing. Yet I've never seen any old fashioned Church doing this.

I have one very dear female friend of mine, and I recall really wanting to have fellowship together with her at the small meetings during the week. I mean, why not? Now, after reading a number of posts here about this gender separation, I'm beginning to understand this.

But anyway, I wish you all the best. I can just imagine what it must have been like for you.

[TLFisher]

Originally Posted by DistantStar

This is interesting. I never thought a lot about it, but it explains the difficulty I had in talking to some of the girls there. I found it slightly odd how the men and women had to sit with their own gender. But I assumed it is more of a cultural thing. Yet I've never seen any old fashioned Church doing this.

On the old bereans forum, there used to be a thread on this very topic. Years ago I had a discussion with my flesh brother about dating/courtship. Being raised in the local churches it was impressed upon you not to date/court until you're ready for marriage. Even when you are, it's as if there's an invisible barrier not to cross. Otherwise, more than likely you'll make the other party uncomfortable. It really causes brothers and sisters to be dysfunctional in regard to the opposite genders. Not just in the local churches, but in one's profession.

[Abounding]

I remember feeling relief as well! I couldn't stop singing, "Free at last". Then I wondered, What have I believed that may not be true? I think the quest for the truth is our own journey. This is how we develop a relationship with God. I think Andrew Farley is a pretty good writer/speaker. I found some help listening to him. Ultimately, I think the truth is much more simple than many think. In Mark 16:15 Jesus said to preach the good news. I think the good news is just that he died on the cross for us. That we are free! That it is finished! Even in the Recovery they could not believe that. If it takes a 1000 more years there is still much work to be done. What he did for us is so incredible that it is very hard to believe.

[A little brother]

Originally Posted by Abounding

Ultimately, I think the truth is much more simple than many think. In Mark 16:15 Jesus said to preach the good news. I think the good news is just that he died on the cross for us. That we are free! That it is finished!

I believe the good news is more than that. We are free (from the condemnation of sin). Yet, even better, we are not free (from the love of the Lord). We often miss the 2nd part of the great commission in Matthew 28.

19 Go therefore and disciple all the nations, baptizing them into the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,
20 Teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you all the days until the consummation of the age.

I have been thinking about this since Bradley started this thread. Sometimes, we search and search for verses from the Bible. It ends up we selectively choose specific verses, interpret them in a way to support our own intention and ignore the more obvious general principles. Even worse, if something is not specifically forbidden in the Bible, we say it is allowed.

I think 1 John 2 stated a very important general principle:

15 Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in him;
16 Because all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the vainglory of life, is not of the Father but is of the world.
17 And the world is passing away, and its lust, but he who does the will of God abides forever.