Question for Christian Former LC Members

Hi,

I started meeting with the LC a few years ago shortly after I got saved.
I've been in and out of their meetings, and their ministry never really took hold in me
I always got my messages from the Bible and casually read their stuff in meetings.
However, recently I've become interested in a sister there who serves full time. The enemy came up and accused me of being in a cult, and I know the enemy doesn't want me to marry her but that made me look into the LC and it potentially being a cult. I think this sister likes me but I'm more worried about the enemy accusing/condemning me for being in a cult.
I'm concerned about this, can anyone offer advice?

[Ohio]

I never considered the LC a cult, since so many of her members were precious believers. Their leaders, however, can be controlling and abusive. They also promote several unique, and unnecessary, teachings in order to provide themselves with special identity.

There is a difference whether your girlfriend is serving at LSM or in a LC, and whether she sees it as permanent or just an interim experience on her journey. Some brothers and sisters, however, use full-time trainings to expand their "opportunities" in order to meet a future spouse. Their trainers often operate as matchmakers.

You need to know if your girlfriend is willing to marry outside of her church, or secretly plans on you joining the church, which may or may not happen. Sometimes it is the parents who basically "decide" for her. If her mother is controlling concerning the church, you should definitely know this, and plan accordingly.

Thank you!

She served in an LC, she also is very keen on adhering to their practice of asking elders for permission to court.
She has a good education and was working in her field part-time but then last semester started serving full time and living in a couple's home.
She's also not my girlfriend but I think we have very strong attraction between us.
Her father is a baptist pastor and neither of her parents meet with the LC.
At this point, do you think moving forward and asking an elder to hook us up would be okay
from a spiritual perspective?
I don't want to regret this in 20 years with kids as part of the equation though.
Thanks!

[Ohio]

I'm not so sure how widespread that practice is. The real problem, from my point of view, is the constant need for LC elders to place their church leadership at LSM ahead of the needs of the people they should be shepherding. Each elder is different, and some do have the heart of a shepherd. Unfortunately, I have seen many of these true shepherds driven out because their "loyalties" were in question. I mean that. I have seen way too much LC so-called "fellowship" to be beneficial in the short term but with long term painful consequences.

I believe her parents' blessing on your relationship is far more important than the elders', especially since he is a Baptist pastor, who has given his life to care for God's children. I would hope that she feels the same way.

Thank you.

[DistantStar]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

do you think moving forward and asking an elder to hook us up
Thanks!

That you have to ask one of them should already make you question things.

In my experience the LC is not a cult as they DO adhere to the basic tenets of Christianity. However, I do consider them a borderline cult. Most of them are sincere born-again Christians, and at the end of the day that is what truly matters.

Thanks for the replies. Should I not even be fellowshipping with them at all?

[UntoHim]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Thanks for the replies. Should I not even be fellowshipping with them at all?

As some others have already posted, you may very well run up against a longstanding Local Church tradition of only dating/courting someone who is a regular attendee. In the distant past, and maybe still true today in many areas, serious relationships with non Local Church members was considered to be "unequally yoked" (even though the other party is a Christian), and such relationships were met with extreme disapproval, and in some cases, even discipline of some sort.

I like the idea of speaking with and getting advise/input from her parents. Then if that goes well, maybe bringing in one particular elder into the mix. Of course this all may be putting the cart way ahead of the horse - maybe a couple of dates together before any of this is in order. Just because you're attracted to each other does not guaranty that you know each other well enough to go forward with anything.

Finally -PRAY. PRAY. PRAY. Also dive into and let the Word of God influence your heart and mind in this matter. After all, you need to get advise and approval from the One who really matters. He is the ultimate matchmaker. "What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

-

[Ohio]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Thanks for the replies. Should I not even be fellowshipping with them at all?

In response to UntoHim's post, I give a hearty Amen! to pray and seek the Lord.

LC folks would love to tell you that the "elders' fellowship" is a safeguard to a marriage, but I can't tell you how many marriages I have seen over the years that were initiated, sanctioned, and blessed by the elders -- and then ended in divorce. It's not a joke.

Apart from your faith in His death and resurrection, marriage is the most important decision you will ever make. Take your time to get to know her, and don't ever let your decisions be ruled by your emotions or by the elders.

[countmeworthy]

Originally Posted by DistantStar

That you have to ask one of them should already make you question things.

In my experience the LC is not a cult as they DO adhere to the basic tenets of Christianity. However, I do consider them a borderline cult. Most of them are sincere born-again Christians, and at the end of the day that is what truly matters.

I think any group whether 'Christian' or not that makes you feel guilty for wanting to leave their fellowship such as the RCC and / or brainwashes you that their way is 'God's way' could be a cult. And I consider them cults. They can uphold some truths but the TRUTH SETS US FREE and how can we be free if we feel obliged to remain in a group we don't like where it's going or no longer feel free to ask questions, to disagree based on scripture and revelation?

[Indiana]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Thanks for the replies. Should I not even be fellowshipping with them at all?

It sounds like the sister is accepting you even though you are in and out of meetings and not ignited by the ministry; yet you love the Lord and the Bible. There are such brothers as this in the local churches who happen to make good husbands and fathers, which is a vital matter....

[micah6v8]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Thank you!

She served in an LC, she also is very keen on adhering to their practice of asking elders for permission to court.
She has a good education and was working in her field part-time but then last semester started serving full time and living in a couple's home.
She's also not my girlfriend but I think we have very strong attraction between us.
Her father is a baptist pastor and neither of her parents meet with the LC.
At this point, do you think moving forward and asking an elder to hook us up would be okay
from a spiritual perspective?
I don't want to regret this in 20 years with kids as part of the equation though.
Thanks!

It is an ominous sign to me that she seems to be very much into the LSM, while you aren't.

How about her father's ministry? Do you find it to be spiritually edifying? If yes, perhaps you could consider fellowshipping with her father.

[Cal]

Thinking of marrying someone in a religious group you are not sure about is like tap dancing in a minefield. You may not get blown up but you are pressing your luck.

Unless you are committed to the LCM don't marry someone who is. Because when push comes to shove they will pick the group over you. This is one of the false ideas they push.

You need to separate your feelings about the girl from your feelings about the LCM. Deal with them separately. Until you decide you are 100% for the LCM you should have nothing special to do with her. And the last thing you should do is join the LCM because you like her.

It's tough I know. But trust God. Be patient. Don't rush. Marriage is challenging enough without stacking the deck against yourself.

Besides, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Before marriage keep your options open, because after you won't have any.

[ZNPaaneah]

I think the term "cult" is very problematic since the dictionary definition would equate the early church with a cult.

Now then, if you spend a little more time on this forum to get a more thorough understanding it might save you years of your life spent in the group. As for the sister I think there is a much better way to approach this topic if you also come to the conclusion that WL was a false prophet.

[countmeworthy]

Originally Posted by ZNPaaneah

I think the term "cult" is very problematic since the dictionary definition would equate the early church with a cult.

Now then, if you spend a little more time on this forum to get a more thorough understanding it might save you years of your life spent in the group. As for the sister I think there is a much better way to approach this topic if you also come to the conclusion that WL was a false prophet.

Was WL a false prophet or false teacher? I lean on him being more of a false teacher than a false prophet but I wasn't in the LC long enough to know if he was a false prophet in addition to being a false teacher, even though not everything he taught was false. Much of it was confusing.. and God is not the author of confusion. Some of it was false teaching. How much I don't really know.

[HERn]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Hi,I started meeting with the LC a few years ago shortly after I got saved.
I've been in and out of their meetings, and their ministry never really took hold in me
I always got my messages from the Bible and casually read their stuff in meetings.
However, recently I've become interested in a sister there who serves full time. The enemy came up and accused me of being in a cult, and I know the enemy doesn't want me to marry her but that made me look into the LC and it potentially being a cult. I think this sister likes me but I'm more worried about the enemy accusing/condemning me for being in a cult. I'm concerned about this, can anyone offer advice?

Praise God for romance! If she's absolute for WLs ministry be very careful with your heart. I fear that some LC sisters see themselves as married to THE MINISTRY first and their husbands second. If she is willing to follow you out of the LC into a healthy church life, then it might be safe.

[Indiana]

Originally Posted by HERn

Praise God for romance! If she's absolute for WLs ministry be very careful with your heart. I fear that some LC sisters see themselves as married to THE MINISTRY first and their husbands second. If she is willing to follow you out of the LC into a healthy church life, then it might be safe.

http://lordsrecovery.us/index.html

Hi brother,

No matter how naturally attracted you might be to each other, if she is 100% given to the church according to the mentality of most church leaders, then she should be married to the MINISTRY first. There might be many exceptions to this, but those in the 2 year training would get a full dose of this CONCEPT which is a very heartfelt concern of the leaders to infuse into the young people for the benefit of the churches, both now and in the future. I send you a link to my first website, initially totally positive, but changed recently to add a balancing word on the problem of over-emphasizing a ministry in the Body of Christ.

I speak honestly about legitimate concerns of our history and present, and it has gotten me into trouble with a lot of people, esp leaders who have such a high appreciation of the ministry they forget about Christ being the Head of the Body, and that He is in us to receive one another according to Him not one's faithfulness to a particular ministry no matter "how good it is" (Nee).

EXCERPT FROM THE SITE
The “local churches” have distinguished themselves from the rest of the Body of Christ and have brought the churches under the ministry of a special leader to form their church life. And, “Wherever ministry is made the occasion for the forming of a church, there you have the beginning of a new denomination.” (The Normal Christian Church Life, p138-139, Nee)
.
Again, Nee states, “What havoc has been wrought in the Church because so many of her ministers have sought to bring the churches under their ministry, rather than by their ministry serve the churches. As soon as the churches are brought under any ministry, they cease to be local and become sectarian… (The Normal Christian Church Life, p138-139, Nee).

What havoc indeed! “And, the “churches” established will be ministerial “churches,” not local ones.” (pp138-139, Nee)
This is from an article on MINISTRY CHURCHES on the site I refer you to.

http://lordsrecovery.us/index.html


I just took down my final 2 websites last night but I see this one is still up for a few more days and I wanted to refer you to it.

I tried to streamline facts of our history in this site and make it simple and enjoyable enough for all to read, and informative enough also to warn, in a responsible way, those who lack balance with our fellow believers, and thereby miss the Lord Himself and the genuine inclusive oneness in the Body.

Steve

[Drake]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Hi,

I started meeting with the LC a few years ago shortly after I got saved.
I've been in and out of their meetings, and their ministry never really took hold in me
I always got my messages from the Bible and casually read their stuff in meetings.
However, recently I've become interested in a sister there who serves full time. The enemy came up and accused me of being in a cult, and I know the enemy doesn't want me to marry her but that made me look into the LC and it potentially being a cult. I think this sister likes me but I'm more worried about the enemy accusing/condemning me for being in a cult.
I'm concerned about this, can anyone offer advice?

Well, I am current member but will offer my view anyway.

I think people who marry should be in love with each other and they should both love the Lord above anything else.

Nevertheless, many who married fell in love afterward so its not a criteria for marriage. My personal experience is that my relationship with the Lord and the relationship with my wife both go through seasons. If my relationship with my wife is solely based on my relationship with the Lord then the "winters" could have been much more severe. But, when my relationship with the Lord wanes my wife strengthens me because hers hasn't. Conversely, when my relationship with my wife gets dicey then the Lord strengthens me. We keep going, together, still madly in love with each other.

But, that is anecdotal, and others have had different experiences. I encourage love.

Drake

[zeek]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Hi,

I started meeting with the LC a few years ago shortly after I got saved.
I've been in and out of their meetings, and their ministry never really took hold in me
I always got my messages from the Bible and casually read their stuff in meetings.
However, recently I've become interested in a sister there who serves full time. The enemy came up and accused me of being in a cult, and I know the enemy doesn't want me to marry her but that made me look into the LC and it potentially being a cult. I think this sister likes me but I'm more worried about the enemy accusing/condemning me for being in a cult.
I'm concerned about this, can anyone offer advice?

My experience in the LC was years ago, but, if the situation in the LC is still like it was back then, the LC was totally centered on the meetings and the meeting were totally centered on the ministry of Witness Lee. Consequently, marriage as understood and practiced by the Local Churchers only existed to perform a subservient function to the Ministry. So, if your interest in this sister has to do with anything other than serving Witness Lee's ministry, it will create conflict for the sister. Unless you plan to jump in and become 100% for the Local Church as the center of God's purpose on the earth, you should do everybody a favor and leave her alone. Of course, if you are in love with the woman, and don't care if you mess up her relationship with the LC in order to consummate your love, well then, go for it! How she will ultimately feel about it, God only knows.

[awareness]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Hi,

I started meeting with the LC a few years ago shortly after I got saved.
I've been in and out of their meetings, and their ministry never really took hold in me
I always got my messages from the Bible and casually read their stuff in meetings.
However, recently I've become interested in a sister there who serves full time. The enemy came up and accused me of being in a cult, and I know the enemy doesn't want me to marry her but that made me look into the LC and it potentially being a cult. I think this sister likes me but I'm more worried about the enemy accusing/condemning me for being in a cult.
I'm concerned about this, can anyone offer advice?

Those girls can really spark us. So look out bro.

I remember Witness Lee saying it doesn't matter who you marry, marry any sister and go on with Christ and the church.

So my marriage was pretty much arranged by the elders, and love had nothing to do with it. It was God's will. That marriage failed.

So be very careful brother. That sister could be wonderful for awhile, and then turn into a living hell.

Good luck to you bro. Hope it all works out for you. Either jump 100% into the cult, or get out. Whichever suits you best. For me it didn't turn out well. I got out of that cult ... and out of that arranged marriage.

I'm with bro Drake. Go for love.