[InOmnibusCaritas]

It has been nine years since the quarantine and eight years since I left LC. I suppose it is time to revisit those wounds to see if they’ve fully healed. Also, I think it is time for me to contribute according to what God has called me to do. Perhaps my testimony can also be of encouragement to some of you.

I live in South-East Asia and my family, like most traditional ethnic Chinese families, worshiped a myriad of gods. I was dedicated to the goddess Guanyin as a toddler. My sister, 8 years older than me, first heard the gospel through friends at the Local Church. She received permission from our very liberal parents to bring me to the children’s meeting. Brother Y would come to pick us up from our home. I was 6 years old and it was 1988.

Eventually, my parents decided to check on us to make sure that we were not in some dangerous cult. Their visit to the meeting hall were received with a warm welcome by Brother Y. Brother Y and his wife’s efforts were not in vain – my parents were liking it very much. In 1991, my parents agreed to baptism and I jumped at the opportunity to request for baptism too. Brother Y reasoned that I was only 9 and therefore too young to make this decision, but I protested (with references to Samuel – my then favourite Biblical hero) until he eventually relented. As I had an insatiable appetite for the truth, I read Witness Lee and Watchman Nee very fervently. I attended the nationwide youth conferences and “video conferences” although I was actually too young for them.

At the same time, by God’s sovereignty and mercy, I was signed up for a uniform body called the Boys’ Brigade (BB), an inter-denominational Christian youth organisation. The unit I was part of is a ministry of the local Methodist church. Here, I learned quickly that my officers and peers were not as proficient in the Bible as my serving ones and friends in the LC. This cemented in me the judgmental superiority complex that plagued me throughout my teenage years. I was, after all, in the “Lord’s recovery”, the “church in Philadelphia”, God’s very best.

In 1994, I attended a conference entitled, “The High Peak of the Divine Revelation”. I learned that I was a god-man! That which is born of a dog is a dog. That which is born of a cat is a cat. Those who are born of God is god (in life and nature but not in the Godhead --- always remember this disclaimer!). I exclaimed to my BB officer, “God became man to make man God in life and in nature!”

“That is not right,” he said, horrified.

“You are just not seeing the heavenly vision”, I retorted.

So I started joining more Youth Preparatory Trainings, Video Trainings, and Blending Conferences. I read the HWMR, the RcV (with footnotes), and other LSM literature. I did the PSRP, BNTB, and memorised banners. I cried inconsolably at the passing of Witness Lee in 1997. In general, “I advanced in Leeism beyond many contemporaries in my locality, being more abundantly a zealot for the traditions of LC”.

When Lee passed away in 1997, I vowed to propagate all of Lee’s teachings. It was Brother Nee. Then it was Brother Lee. Now it’s Brother We! I am an ambassador of the Lord’s Recovery! I began propagating the RcV to my BB officer, touting it as the best translation of the Bible to which came the response, “How do you know? Do you know Greek? Have you studied theology? Do you know that Local Church is a cult?”

I was shocked by his reply. How dare you insult the Lord’s Recovery? I shall prove you wrong!

So at the age of 15, I began learning Koine Greek. I subscribed to Affirmation & Critique (A&C) and read them with the help of dictionaries. I read “The Expert Speaks” and researched every theological term that is found in that book. I studied the church fathers because A&C quotes from them extensively in defense of the “high peak truth”. I compared Lee’s theology with the Reformers and found the Reformers wanting (since they did not talk about deification). I was not satisfied with just proving that Lee was orthodox but I’m also out for my officer’s throat. How dare he? His Achilles heel, I was convinced, was the sin of denominationalism. I must be able to show that Nee’s local church model is the only Biblical way to meet and everyone else is in error. I must hammer home 1 Cor. 1-3!

My BB officer, a layman, was unable to reply to my newfound theological prowess. I had become invincible. I made it my life mission to be a Leeist apologist. I endeavoured to be a theologian like my A&C heroes.

Because I was involved in an inter-denominational organisation and I had genuine fellowship with the brothers and sisters from “Christianity”, I grew uncomfortable with the weekly attacks on “Christianity” during “prophesying meetings”. I attributed that to the saints’ ignorance and their sheer laziness to do primary research on contemporary “Christianity”. I was certain that Nee, Lee, and the Blended Brothers would have censured this kind of behaviour. “There is one Body in this universe / And we express it here on earth; We stand as one in each locality / For all to see! For all to see!”

Then came the Quarantine in 2006. It sent a shock down my spine. The Lord’s recovery, founded upon the unique ground of oneness expressed in each locality, now splintered over some inane stuff like “one publication”? I used to shake my head at how denominations split over some minor, though biblical, stuff. “One publication” is not even biblical! I was devastated. By then, I’d learned enough exegesis (even if Leeistic allegories were part of my hermeneutical framework) to swallow 1 Cor. 14:8’s “uncertain sounding of the trumpet” as the justification. I was a youth serving one at that time. I had devoted my entire life to LC. My whole family was (still is) in LC. My parents were planting an LC at that time. My then girlfriend and her family were (still are) in LC. My childhood friends were (still are) in LC.

The Lord put a heavy burden upon me that I must speak up. What if God has prepared me “for a time like this” (Esther 4:14)? So I wrote a blog entry condemning the quarantine as unbiblical. The blog entry attracted comments from Nigel Tomes – the worker of darkness himself! I was hauled in for “fellowship” by the elders, including Brother Y, and my serving one when I was a youth. Their children were my childhood friends. The same Brother Y who brought my parents to salvation, mentored them, and baptised our family. The orders were simple: remove the blog entry, disavow Titus Chu (whom I have not met – I didn’t even know how he looked like), withdraw from youth service, and not talk about this issue with anyone. Otherwise, they would have no choice but to quarantine me.

My world collapsed around me. What about my parents? What about my then girlfriend? What about my friends? I buckled under pressure and obeyed. I sat at the back row of the meeting hall from that Lord’s Day onward. I kept my mouth shut when the other youth serving ones queried. I kept my end of the deal. I didn’t even tell my parents about the “fellowship”. But I felt I was no longer welcome. None of the elders looked me in the eye anymore. My shepherds have become my butchers.

I eventually left. I stopped attending meetings. I feared going to another church. I feared breaking the ground of oneness by breaking bread with “denominations”. I was unchurched for several years. I put all my attention on my career. My life became rudderless and my lifestyle absolutely sinful.

The process of repentance was very painful but God was ever reassuring. I decided to visit an evangelical Brethren church since it's the nearest cousin to LC and became active in an inter-denominational cell group. The brothers and sisters there wanted to hear me teach the word. I obliged yet I was cynical inside but they won me over eventually. It was then, in 2012, I heard the Lord’s calling. I enrolled in seminary and will be graduating at the end of this year. I am now serving as a youth pastor at that same Methodist church where I joined the Boys’ Brigade when I was a kid. I smile at God’s wisdom, sovereignty, and love. I am not to be a Leeist apologist but a post-Leeist cathechist. I hope to be able to help those who are struggling to transition out of Leeism and venture toward a post-recovery Evangelical faith. “Post-recovery” because we will always be epistemologically affected by the “Recovery”.

Steven Foong