Quote:
Originally Posted by eDh22
I really appreciate the welcome, and the insight I've received on this board after posting my story about leaving the "Lord's Recovery". In the last month, I've reached out to some "safe" people in my life with LSM ties to hear their stories, briefly spoke with a therapist on the topic, and read several books about young women who grew up in / joined high demand Christian groups, left, and how they moved forward with their lives. I also visited the "standard" church down the street to get a glimpse of "normal Christianity".
Which has brought me to the following questions that I've been asking myself. I would love to hear your answers:
1. What do you most regret about your time in the "Lord's Recovery" group?
2. What real gains in your life did you experience during your time in the "Lord's Recovery"?
3. How have you / are you leveraging your regrets about your time in the "Lord's Recovery" so that these experiences can be gain to you now?
4. Forgiveness - have you reached out in person to ask forgiveness of those you may have injured during your time in the "Lord's Recovery" (family, etc)? How have you dealt with your relationships with people who shepherded you, particularly with what you feel now was poor counsel, in the "Lord's Recovery"?
5. Do you think there was anything in the doctrine or practice that particularly attracted you to the "Lord's Recovery" or do you think you could have been similarly attracted to any high-demand Christian group?
6. What tools have you found most useful in "recovering from the Lord's Recovery?" Specific books? Counseling? Blogging? Specific relationships?
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Hi! It's really comforting and validating to see questions like this bc I have the same ones so happy to share my experience and also want to know others....
I'll just list them like you questioned....
1. I regret not knowing how to function very well in the "world"- the us vs. them mindset and all the "worldly" concepts, for me, made it hard to connect with people outside the church life. A close second, I've realized- is missing out on a closer relationship with my extended family. We were lucky that they were able to realize they just shouldn't ever talk about it but I was almost an adult before I realized that my aunts and uncles really loved the Lord, and I felt like I missed out on some spiritual guidance bc they didn't want to overstep with us.
2. Knowing I can experience Christ in a personal way. Seeing some good examples of that. Knowing its all about your heart towards God.
3. I've had to separate the practices in the LC that are taught by WL and LSM from the people in the LC. The people are the body of Christ. I see it as members of the body of Christ being mislead and caught up in a system of misleading practices and exploitation.
4. Such a great question and so important too. I guess I don't harbor bad feelings anymore bc I've really tried to understand their perspective given the time period and the things they were hearing. Also trying to understand their background and childhoods can be helpful. Sometimes the ones in control were just good "bait" from the higher ups. I've also listened to messages online from the 80's that helped me understand the mindset my parents had from what they were listening to.
5. I grew up in it, left for most of my 20's, had a spiritual turn and went back. I was definitely experiencing the Lord but didn't question the LC and just accepted everything as truth. As time went by and I felt more pressure to confirm and didn't feel like I was fitting in, I started to see there was a culture there that wasn't Christ, just a culture of unspoken (and spoken) pressure to make everyone conform. I started researching healthy vs. unhealthy church practices and saw too many things that hit the mark on the unhealthy side.
I also read two books I'd recommend, "Toxic Faith" and "The subtle power of spiritual abuse", both great. Also Jane Andersons book. It all started coming together.
6. I guess I partly answered that in #5. Ive been to counseling and I try to read everything I can get my hands on when I have time to help me get past this and heal. Currently I'm still just trying to accept it with my family being so involved and just accepting I have to just let go, pray, and watch when I see the negative effects it has on them. It's hard knowing you just can't do anything sometimes besides pray and love them. It just creates a barrier when you know you both feel strongly about an issue and its the elephant in the room, so to speak.
Glad to hopefully see more on this topic in the thread.....thx for asking, want to know the same advice myself.