Quote:
Originally Posted by Nell
Betsy,
My last meeting as a "member" I simply got up and walked out. A sister followed me and asked if I was OK. I said I was fine, I was just bored. I told her I had heard those testimonies for 15 years and had heard enough. I gave those same testimonies for 15 years. Of course, she was taken aback, but so was I (did I say that out loud?). I was giving those testimonies myself and pretending that I enjoyed it. I wasn't enjoying anything. I was lying. Pretending. Most of all, I was going along with the program, as Ohio calls it, and hoping to stay out of trouble. I had been in trouble before with the elders and THAT was hell.
This is why I found the meetings so dreadful. It hadn't reached the point of "hell" but I just couldn't stand the boredom anymore, not to mention my own hypocrisy.
Nell
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You weren't the only one pretending in the meetings. As an aside I think Witness Lee was the great pretender. He was most certainly pretending about Watchman Nee (who was also the great pretender).
When Max Rappoport went around preaching "on the floor fellowship," which was to stop being spiritually phony, lots of saints walked. Then Max was gone. Lee wasn't going to stand for being real. Unless it was his real degenerate sons.