anotherchurchkid

Oh sweet Vincent. From one church-kid to another, you will be ok, I promise.

One of the most frustrating things about the Local churches, is how they refuse to understand our souls and human condition - and what we need to do to take care of those things. I urge you to find a therapist. Most cities have cheap counseling centers. Or there is probably one through your school.
I encourage you to start using the 'c word', not to your parents- there is no reason to hurt them. But to yourself and your friends, it is a cult! it's ok to identify it as one and give yourself the credit you deserve! We were raised in a cult! there has been great spiritual, and mental damage.

My freshman year at the University, the only way my parents would pay was if I lived in corporate living. And so I did, and got even more damaged than many childhood years combined.
You know what is right for you, but It wouldn't hurt to become financially independent as soon as possible and put yourself through school (which is what I did after my first year).

And after that perhaps a real relationship with your parents can begin, that is outside of the churchlife. I'm in my 30s now and that is still my struggle.

Best of luck to you. Take care of your heart and your head, seek the help you need so that you do not do anything stupid. I feel for you, so completely.