Quote:
Originally Posted by HERn
Hi brother (?) Koinonia. One year pretty hard, two years to finally breathe easy. For me it was a complex combination of spiritual, psychological, and sociological disengagement. the LC has a troika that together makes it hard to leave them, and for some even harder to find another spiritual home. If you were saved in the LC, then you will be faced with overcoming satan's lie that every Christian group outside of the LC is cursed and rejected by God. This is a perverse spiritual stronghold that satan has effectively used to shipwreck the faith of many that leave the LC. When I first started trying different groups the LC I was confronted with many feelings and lies that had their origin in LC false teaching and satan's lies. One of the first things I did was to stop reading ANYTHING from LSM. I also started reading a version of the New Testament that was new to me. I just read the gospels over and over to see my Lord Jesus without any of the LSM commentary. I prayed that the Lord would let me see the man Jesus. I cut off all contact with the elders and saints. I essentially excommunicated the elders from my life. Even though some of the dear saints cared for me, their goal was to restore me to the LC and its allegiance to the tainted ministry of WL. I did go to a Christian psychologist with my wife for a few sessions while trying to leave. His prayer and counsel was very helpful.
It was probably easier for me because I got saved in 1971 outside of the LC, so I knew there was reality outside of the LC.
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Thank you for your response. Yes, I was born and raised in the LC, and leaving it behind has easily been the most difficult thing I have ever had to face. Many times I have felt completely alone and have felt that I was losing my faith. Your comment about the spiritual, psychological, and sociological "troika" definitely matches my experience.
Somewhere deep down, however, I do believe that God is calling me to a deeper relationship with Him, and the whole process has made me realize how much I lacked in that relationship and how much of my spiritual life was actually all about the
group and having a deep sense of belonging. Yet, many times I do question my decision to leave and wonder if it would have been worth it to stifle my feelings of discontent and stay around for the fellowship and familiarity of it all. I have done a little bit of reaching out to other Christians since stepping away. It's definitely shined a light on my judgmentalism and has, in certain ways, been very rewarding. At the same, fellowship with others has also been disheartening to me--as I find the way others approach spiritual matters to be extremely shallow (don't everyone come down on me; this is just my observation and something I'm dealing with). Most of my waking hours I live with this nagging feeling that I will never be happy or whole again and that I will always feel purposeless and isolated. I'm hoping for a light at the end of the tunnel.